Silas
Beloved of All
Your pain is real and it has been heard. To be treated rudely by the one who vowed to cherish you, to discover repeated unfaithfulness and hidden secrets, to see pornography and false intimacy through a screen take the place of love, and then to be told to leave your own home with your child when you are the one who has been wounded, is a deep and wrongful suffering. Jesus sees it. He knows what it is to be betrayed and mistreated, and He does not turn away from your cry.
God's design for marriage is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman. Within that covenant husband and wife belong to one another. Scripture teaches that each is to show kindness and honor to the other and not to withhold themselves, except for a short time by mutual agreement for prayer. The husband is called to love his wife as Christ loved the church, to give himself for her, to honor her as the weaker vessel, to watch over her and shield her and make her secure in the knowledge that she is supremely loved and that his eyes are for her alone. The wife is called to respect and support her husband. When those two simple callings are kept, marriage becomes a place of safety and prayer is unhindered. When they are broken, problems compound. Rudeness, unfaithfulness, and turning to other images or conversations for sexual fulfillment are not love. Jesus taught that to look upon another with lust is already to commit adultery in the heart. What is done in secret on a screen is not harmless. It is unfaithfulness before God.
That kind of sexual sin also enslaves. It can take hold of a mind like a drug, gripping more and more tightly until the person cannot free himself and needs ever more to feel anything. It brings great folly and emptiness. Your husband needs deliverance that only God can give, a washing of his mind by the Word of God and a true turning away from what has ensnared him. We will pray for that deliverance for him, that God would open his eyes to what he is doing, bring him to repentance, and set him free.
For you, the Word gives clear and tender direction. The Lord's command to those who are married is not to depart lightly. If a separation does happen, the call is to remain unmarried or to be reconciled, and the husband is not to send his wife away. Where an unbelieving husband is willing to remain in the home, the wife is encouraged not to leave him, for her faithful presence has a sanctifying influence in that home and upon the children, who are regarded as holy and set apart before God. A wife remains bound to her husband as long as he lives. This does not mean you are to accept abuse or to ignore danger to yourself or your child. If you are unsafe or are being put out of your home, seek wise, godly counsel at once and take steps to protect yourself and your child while you seek help. Commit your soul and your situation to God who is a faithful Creator. He is the one who fights for you.
Suffering that comes because you have done wrong brings no honor, but suffering that comes when you have done what is right and are treated wrongfully is precious to God. He does not waste that pain. Through such suffering He can cause roots to go deep and form a depth of character and strength that cannot be formed any other way. That does not make the pain good in itself, but it means God can use it for your good and for His glory as you entrust yourself to Him.
May the Lord fight this battle for you. May He carry you as you carry this cross, and in His mercy lift the weight of sorrow that feels too heavy to bear. May He give you wisdom for each step, provide a safe place for you and your child, surround you with faithful people who will walk with you, and bring conviction and freedom to your husband.
Let us pray. Lord Jesus, You see this dear one in her pain. You know every tear, every discovery, every harsh word, every night of loneliness. Have pity and draw near. Fight for her where she has no strength. Comfort her heart and guard her and her child. Give her wisdom and courage and faithful counselors to help her. Convict her husband of his sin, break the power of lust and false intimacy that has enslaved him, wash his mind and set him free, and teach him to love and honor his wife as You love the church. Keep this home from being torn apart if it be Your will, and where there is sin bring repentance and reconciliation. Where there is suffering, bring deep roots of faith and peace. We entrust her life and her family to You, faithful Creator, in Your name, Amen.
God's design for marriage is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman. Within that covenant husband and wife belong to one another. Scripture teaches that each is to show kindness and honor to the other and not to withhold themselves, except for a short time by mutual agreement for prayer. The husband is called to love his wife as Christ loved the church, to give himself for her, to honor her as the weaker vessel, to watch over her and shield her and make her secure in the knowledge that she is supremely loved and that his eyes are for her alone. The wife is called to respect and support her husband. When those two simple callings are kept, marriage becomes a place of safety and prayer is unhindered. When they are broken, problems compound. Rudeness, unfaithfulness, and turning to other images or conversations for sexual fulfillment are not love. Jesus taught that to look upon another with lust is already to commit adultery in the heart. What is done in secret on a screen is not harmless. It is unfaithfulness before God.
That kind of sexual sin also enslaves. It can take hold of a mind like a drug, gripping more and more tightly until the person cannot free himself and needs ever more to feel anything. It brings great folly and emptiness. Your husband needs deliverance that only God can give, a washing of his mind by the Word of God and a true turning away from what has ensnared him. We will pray for that deliverance for him, that God would open his eyes to what he is doing, bring him to repentance, and set him free.
For you, the Word gives clear and tender direction. The Lord's command to those who are married is not to depart lightly. If a separation does happen, the call is to remain unmarried or to be reconciled, and the husband is not to send his wife away. Where an unbelieving husband is willing to remain in the home, the wife is encouraged not to leave him, for her faithful presence has a sanctifying influence in that home and upon the children, who are regarded as holy and set apart before God. A wife remains bound to her husband as long as he lives. This does not mean you are to accept abuse or to ignore danger to yourself or your child. If you are unsafe or are being put out of your home, seek wise, godly counsel at once and take steps to protect yourself and your child while you seek help. Commit your soul and your situation to God who is a faithful Creator. He is the one who fights for you.
Suffering that comes because you have done wrong brings no honor, but suffering that comes when you have done what is right and are treated wrongfully is precious to God. He does not waste that pain. Through such suffering He can cause roots to go deep and form a depth of character and strength that cannot be formed any other way. That does not make the pain good in itself, but it means God can use it for your good and for His glory as you entrust yourself to Him.
May the Lord fight this battle for you. May He carry you as you carry this cross, and in His mercy lift the weight of sorrow that feels too heavy to bear. May He give you wisdom for each step, provide a safe place for you and your child, surround you with faithful people who will walk with you, and bring conviction and freedom to your husband.
Let us pray. Lord Jesus, You see this dear one in her pain. You know every tear, every discovery, every harsh word, every night of loneliness. Have pity and draw near. Fight for her where she has no strength. Comfort her heart and guard her and her child. Give her wisdom and courage and faithful counselors to help her. Convict her husband of his sin, break the power of lust and false intimacy that has enslaved him, wash his mind and set him free, and teach him to love and honor his wife as You love the church. Keep this home from being torn apart if it be Your will, and where there is sin bring repentance and reconciliation. Where there is suffering, bring deep roots of faith and peace. We entrust her life and her family to You, faithful Creator, in Your name, Amen.
