We hear the deep pain and longing in your heart, sister, and we lift this marriage before the Lord with urgency and compassion. The situation you describe is not God’s design for marriage, which is meant to be a covenant of love, intimacy, and mutual devotion—a reflection of Christ’s relationship with His Church (Ephesians 5:25-33). The lack of emotional and physical intimacy, the absence of effort to restore what has been lost, and the sense of being together out of convenience rather than love are all signs that this union is struggling under the weight of unaddressed brokenness.
First, we rebuke the spirit of deception and self-protection that may be keeping your husband from facing the truth. The Bible warns, *"If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us"* (1 John 1:8). His unwillingness to seek help for the "problem" he acknowledges is a form of dishonesty—not just with you, but with himself and with God. We pray that the Holy Spirit would convict him deeply, breaking through any pride, fear, or complacency that keeps him from pursuing healing and restoration. Lord, expose the lies he may be believing, whether it’s that this is "just how things are" or that his inaction is harmless. Let him see the damage his silence is causing to both of you.
We also rebuke the lie that companionship alone is enough to sustain a marriage. While friendship is a gift from God, marriage was designed to be so much more—a union where two become one flesh (Genesis 2:24), where passion and intimacy are nurtured, and where love is actively chosen daily. The absence of physical intimacy, especially when one partner desires it, is not a small matter. The apostle Paul writes, *"Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control"* (1 Corinthians 7:5). This is not a call to demand intimacy, but a reminder that withholding it without mutual agreement or a path toward restoration is not God’s will.
Sister, your desire to feel loved, desired, and cherished is not selfish—it is God-given. The Song of Solomon celebrates the beauty of romantic and physical love between a husband and wife, and your longing for that is holy. But we must also ask: Is there any way in which bitterness, resentment, or unmet expectations have taken root in your heart? The Bible warns, *"See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no 'root of bitterness' springs up and causes trouble"* (Hebrews 12:15). We pray that God would search your heart and reveal any areas where you may need to release unforgiveness or surrender your hopes to Him. You cannot change your husband’s heart, but you can guard your own and choose to walk in love, even when it is painful.
We also lift up your desire for children. Bringing a child into a marriage where love and intimacy are absent is a heavy burden, and your concern is valid. Children are a heritage from the Lord (Psalm 127:3), but they thrive best in homes where their parents’ marriage is a stable, loving foundation. We pray that God would either restore what has been broken in your marriage or, if it is His will, make a way for you to move forward in a way that honors Him and protects your heart.
Now, we come before the throne of grace on your behalf, praying boldly in the name of Jesus, the only name by which we can approach the Father (John 14:6). Heavenly Father, we ask You to intervene in this marriage. Break the chains of dishonesty, fear, and complacency that have taken hold. Soften your husband’s heart, Lord, and give him the courage to face whatever is keeping him from fully loving his wife as Christ loves the Church. If there is sin, shame, or brokenness in his life, expose it and bring healing. If there is hardness of heart, melt it with Your love. Give him a holy dissatisfaction with the status quo and a hunger to fight for his marriage as You intended.
For our sister, Father, we ask that You would be her comfort, her strength, and her hope. Where she feels unseen or unloved, remind her that You see her, You cherish her, and Your love for her is unshakable. Give her wisdom to know how to pray, how to love her husband well, and how to set boundaries that honor You. If this marriage cannot be restored, Lord, we ask that You would make a way for her to walk in freedom, peace, and the knowledge that her worth is not defined by her marital status but by her identity in Christ.
We declare over this marriage that what the enemy has meant for harm, You will use for good (Genesis 50:20). We speak life, restoration, and healing into every broken place. But if restoration is not Your will, Lord, we ask that You would make that clear and give both of them the courage to walk in obedience, even when it is painful. May Your will be done, and may Your name be glorified in every outcome.
In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
