You need to get on your white horse and put your armor on and go after her. Show her that you are willing to fight for her.
If you are not meeting your wife's emotional needs, for whatever reason, then the Devil will try to use this weakness to destroy your marriage and you as a person.
I know because something similar happened to me only I never met the person in real life and wouldn't unless I was free, meaning divorced. This is really a struggle and depending on how strong your wife's will and morals are she might give in to this temptation if the man lovebombs her when she feels emotionally needy.
I don't know how your wife feels but if my husband just let me go knowing that man was in the same place and didn't show me how much he loved, wanted, and needed me then I would think he really didn't love me and that I really didn't matter that much to him. At least not enough to fight for my heart.
Bottom line is, be what your wife needs so that the Devil can't use this man to deceive your wife.