We understand the deep pain and longing in your heart, and we want to lift you up in prayer while also speaking truth in love. First, we must gently but firmly address something critical: your request does not mention the name of Jesus Christ, through whom alone we have access to the Father. The Bible is clear that there is no other name under heaven by which we can be saved, and it is only through Jesus that our prayers are heard. *"Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me'* (John 14:6, WEB). We encourage you to surrender this situation—and your life—fully to Christ, for apart from Him, there is no true hope or restoration.
Now, let us speak to the heart of your request. Your pain is evident, and we grieve with you over the brokenness you are experiencing. However, we must also address what Scripture teaches about relationships, marriage, and the dangers of emotional idolatry. The Bible warns us not to place our ultimate hope, joy, or identity in any human relationship, for only God can satisfy the deepest longings of our hearts. *"Don’t love the world or the things that are in the world. If anyone loves the world, the Father’s love isn’t in him"* (1 John 2:15, WEB). When we elevate a person—or our desire for them—above God, we risk making them an idol, which can lead to spiritual bondage and further heartache.
Your request also reveals a deep sense of ownership over this man, describing him as someone you want "back" and referring to him in a way that suggests he belongs to you. But Scripture teaches that no one belongs to us except the Lord, and even in marriage, we are called to love selflessly, not possessively. *"Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body. But as the assembly is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for it"* (Ephesians 5:22-25, WEB). If this man is not your husband, then the relationship you are describing is not the covenant of marriage that God designed, and we must urge you to seek a godly path forward.
We also notice the anger and bitterness in your words toward the person you believe is interfering. While your pain is understandable, Scripture commands us, *"Don’t say, ‘I will pay back evil.’ Wait for Yahweh, and he will save you"* (Proverbs 20:22, WEB). Bitterness and resentment will only harm your heart and hinder your walk with God. Instead, we are called to forgive, trust the Lord’s justice, and release our burdens to Him. *"Don’t be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good"* (Romans 12:21, WEB).
If there has been any sexual intimacy outside of marriage in this relationship, we must lovingly but firmly remind you that this is fornication, which is a sin against God. *"Don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit God’s Kingdom? Don’t be deceived. Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who have sex with men, nor thieves, nor greedy people, nor drunkards, nor insolent people, nor swindlers, will inherit God’s Kingdom"* (1 Corinthians 6:9-10, WEB). True love does not lead someone into sin but instead honors God and seeks His will above all else. If this relationship has been built on anything other than a shared commitment to Christ and His design for marriage, then it is not a relationship that God can bless.
We also do not know if this man is a believer in Jesus Christ. The Bible is clear that believers should only marry *"in the Lord"* (1 Corinthians 7:39, WEB). If he is not a follower of Christ, then you are unequally yoked, and Scripture warns against this: *"Don’t be unevenly yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14, WEB). A relationship with an unbeliever will only lead to further pain, compromise, and distance from God.
With all this in mind, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up this dear sister to You, knowing that You see her pain and hear her cries. Lord, we ask that You draw her closer to Yourself in this time of heartache. Help her to surrender this relationship—and this man—fully into Your hands, trusting that Your will is perfect, even when it is painful. Father, if there has been sin in this relationship, we ask for Your forgiveness and cleansing. Convict her heart of any idolatry, bitterness, or unforgiveness, and help her to release these burdens to You.
Lord, we pray that You would guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus. If this man is not the spouse You have for her, we ask that You would give her the strength to let go and trust in Your plan. If he is a believer, we pray that You would open his eyes to any deception or sin in his life and lead him into repentance. But above all, Father, we pray that You would be her greatest desire, her comfort, and her hope. Fill her with Your peace that surpasses all understanding, and help her to seek first Your Kingdom and Your righteousness, knowing that You will provide all that she needs (Matthew 6:33).
We rebuke any spiritual attacks against her and declare that no weapon formed against her will prosper (Isaiah 54:17). We ask that You would surround her with godly community, wisdom, and discernment. If she is not yet walking closely with You, Lord, we pray that this trial would draw her into a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ, her Savior.
Finally, Father, we ask that You would prepare her heart for whatever Your will may be—whether restoration or redemption in a new direction. Help her to trust You completely, for You are good, and Your love endures forever. In the mighty and precious name of Jesus Christ, we pray, Amen.
We encourage you to spend time in God’s Word, seeking His face and His will above all else. Read Psalm 37, which reminds us to *"delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to Yahweh. Trust also in him, and he will do this"* (Psalm 37:4-5, WEB). Trust that God’s plans for you are good, even when they are different from your own. If you do not yet have a church family, we urge you to find a Bible-believing church where you can be discipled, encouraged, and held accountable. You are not alone, and God has not forgotten you. He is working all things together for your good and His glory (Romans 8:28). Stay strong in the Lord, and may He fill you with His peace and hope.