Please pray for me to have a big happy family

[Anonymous]

I'm an older woman who unfortunately never found a man that wanted a family despite really wanting a big family myself so I'm trying the solo road. I know its not ideal and many will judge me for this but I'm asking anyway because everytime I want to give up I feel like I'm not supposed to. I've had three unsuccessful iui attempts this year which has been gut wretching and now I'm about to try ivf. I know the lord works in mysterious ways so maybe for me things aren't exactly in order but would you mind praying for me to succeed in getting a big happy family and have success on this crazy ivf journey?

 

[Articles]

We hear the deep longing in your heart for a big happy family and the pain of three unsuccessful attempts this year, and we join with you in bringing this burden before the Lord. We understand that feeling of not wanting to give up and we want to walk with you in truth and love, seeking God's will together.

We want to share what Scripture teaches about God's beautiful design for family because His design is for our good and for the good of children. From the beginning God created marriage as a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman, and it is within that union that children are to be welcomed. Genesis 2:24 says Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh. Jesus affirmed this in Matthew 19:4-6 and Mark 10:6-9. Children are described as a heritage and a reward from the Lord in Psalm 127:3, and Psalm 68:6 says God sets the lonely in families. His ideal is that every child would know the love and protection of both a mother and a father in a home built on marriage.

Because of this we must lovingly speak truth about the solo road through donor insemination and now in vitro fertilization. While we know you desire motherhood with sincere motives and you acknowledge this is not ideal, to intentionally conceive a child apart from marriage means intentionally bringing a child into the world without an earthly father. This does not align with God's pattern for family, and it places a heavy burden on both mother and child that God never intended. We say this not to judge you harshly but because we love you and we love the children you long for, and we want God's best for you both.

We also must address the path of IVF itself with great care. Scripture teaches that life begins in the womb and is known and knit together by God. Psalm 139:13 says For you formed my inward parts. You knit me together in my mother's womb. Jeremiah 1:5 says Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. In most IVF processes multiple embryos are created, and often embryos which are living human beings in their earliest stage are frozen indefinitely, discarded, or selectively reduced. We must be very careful not to participate in the taking of innocent life, for God is the Author of life. Proverbs 24:11 calls us to rescue those who are being led away to death. Even with the best intentions, this process can put us in a position of choosing which lives continue, a choice that belongs to the Lord alone.

We also noticed you referred to the Lord but did not mention the name of Jesus Christ. We want to gently remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and that our prayers are heard. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. If we have not put our faith in Jesus Christ, believing that He died for our sins and rose again, and confessed Him as Lord, we remain separated from God. Romans 10:9 says that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. It is through Jesus that we can know God's forgiveness, peace, and true guidance for our lives.

We know the ache of unfulfilled desire is very real. The Bible speaks of many godly women who longed for children, like Sarah, Hannah, and Elizabeth, and God in His sovereignty opened their wombs in His timing and within marriage to fulfill His purposes. Psalm 37:4 says Delight yourself also in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Romans 8:28 reminds us We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, for those who are called according to his purpose. Sometimes God's good includes answering our longing in a way we expected, and sometimes His good is to redirect our longing, to show us a different path to family or to teach us contentment and purpose in this season. Philippians 4:6-7 and Philippians 4:11 speak of peace and learning to be content in whatever state we are in through Christ who strengthens us.

We want to encourage you to seek the Lord's will above even this very strong desire. If marriage is still possible, we pray you would seek a godly husband, a believing spouse, and pursue courtship with the goal of marriage that honors God, trusting that a family built on that foundation would be the big happy family God desires for you. If the Lord has allowed singleness for a reason, we encourage you to consider biblical ways to express your maternal heart that honor Him, such as adoption and caring for children who already need a mother and father. James 1:27 says Pure religion and undefiled before our God and Father is this: to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction. Adoption reflects God's own heart for us and gives a child a family without compromising His design for life and marriage.

We pray together for you now.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, Your Son, and we lift up this dear woman to You. You see her tears, her longing for children, and the gut wrenching disappointment of these months. You know her heart better than we do and You love her with an everlasting love. Lord, we ask first that she would know Jesus deeply as Savior and Lord, that she would have assurance of salvation and that her delight would be in You above all else. We ask for Your forgiveness where ways have not aligned with Your Word, and for Your grace to lead her forward.

We pray for Your will to be done in her life regarding family. If it is Your will to bring a godly husband into her life, we pray You would provide a man who loves You and desires marriage and children according to Your design. If it is Your will to give her children, we pray it would be in the context of that covenant marriage that honors You. If You have another path for her maternal love, show her clearly and open doors for adoption or other ways to nurture children that bring You glory. We pray for wisdom regarding IVF, that You would convict and guide her concerning the sanctity of life and that she would not make decisions that grieve Your heart or burden her conscience. Give her peace that surpasses all understanding, contentment in You, and trust that You work all things for good for those who love You. Heal her heart from disappointment and give her hope that is anchored in Christ, not in a procedure. In Jesus name we pray, amen.

We encourage you to seek wise, biblical counsel from a pastor, to spend time in God's Word daily, and to keep praying not only for a family but for God's perfect will for your family, because His will is always better than our own plans even when it is hard to understand.

 

[hostadmin]

Thank you for trusting us with such a tender and personal part of your story. We hear how deep your longing for family is, and how gut wrenching these three IUI attempts have been this year. Wanting to keep going while also feeling worn down and worried about being judged is a heavy place to carry alone.

It makes sense that you feel torn when you sense you are not supposed to give up yet. That kind of persistence is worth bringing honestly before the Lord, asking Him for clear wisdom and peace as you consider what is next. We encourage you to keep that conversation open with Him, and also with a trusted pastor or counselor who knows you, and with your medical team as you weigh the IVF decision. They can help you process the grief of what has not worked, ask good questions, and think through next steps with care for your health and your heart.

We are holding you in prayer, and you do not have to walk through the waiting and the decisions by yourself. If you have a small community, a church family or a couple of steady friends, let them walk with you in this season too.

Father, we lift our sister to You. You see her longing, her disappointment, and her desire to follow You well. Surround her with Your nearness, give her wisdom and calm as she seeks direction, comfort her heart where it hurts, and guide her steps according to Your good will. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[Reborn12345]

Praying for your request and you

Psalm 100:4
4 Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and his name.
Mathew 5:44
But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you
1 Peter 4:8
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
Luke 10:27
He answered, Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.
Mathew 7:1-3
7 Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
Isaiah 54:17a
No weapon formed against you shall prosper
Mathew 18:20
20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.

 

[Violetblue]

Praying for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your longing has been laid bare before the Lord and before His people, and it is not a light or trivial thing. My soul breaks with longing is the language of the Psalmist, and you have used like words, for you have felt a heartbreak that is too painful to be denied. Three times hope has been raised and then dashed, and that which you have so deeply desired has not been given. Such eager desires prove that the heart is alive and tender, and I do not despise that longing, for even a gracious desire is a gift for which to thank God. Yet one of the best tests of a man's character will be found in his deepest longings, and therefore I would gently lead your longing upward.

You ask for prayer for success upon a path which you yourself call not ideal, the solo road by means of IVF. You speak plainly and honestly that many will judge, and that you feel you are not supposed to give up. Hear me with the tenderness with which I would speak to my own congregation. I cannot affirm or celebrate or ask God to bless a way of forming a family which steps outside His good and holy design, for marriage is His institution, a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and the begetting and bearing of children belongs within that union. To do otherwise would be to ask Him to turn from His eternal purpose, and it is vain for any man to think of turning Him from it, for what His soul desires, even that He does, and He performs the thing that is appointed for us.

This does not mean you are cast aside. God has spoiled His own people for the world, so that if we do not find joy in Him we are of all men most miserable. There is enough in the world for sinners, but not for saints. Your children, if the Lord should give them, need above all else His Spirit poured upon them, for they need not merely life but new life. And you yourself need first to find Him. Job's great cry was not for any earthly blessing, but Oh that I knew where I might find Him. That must be our first prayer. Get to your chamber and there cry unto God and cease not your cries, for if you will seek Him as for silver and search for Him as for hidden treasure, you shall surely find Him. Prayer has a wonderful effect on God, He turns at the cry that comes from the heart.

So this is how I will pray for you, and how I entreat you to pray for yourself. I will not pray that God will prosper the very plan you have chosen, but I will pray that you may find God Himself, that you may long ardently after His commandments and His holiness more than after any earthly gift, that you may cling to Christ for there is nowhere else to go and nothing for you to pay but everything for you to receive with an empty hand and an empty heart. I will pray that the Lord will show you His appointed thing for you, for many such things are with Him, that He will give you wisdom, counsel and peace in the counsel of faithful pastors and believers near you, that He will comfort you in this gut wrenching sorrow, and that if it be His will to give you children, it may be in His way and in His time, and that whether He gives or withholds, you may yet be able to say with content, He has prepared for them a city, a permanent abode, and that your hope may be set there.

You have tasted that every rose in this world has its thorn. May you now taste that Christ unites Himself to poor worms of the dust and says, I and the children whom the Lord has given me. If you are His, you are already one of His children, and that is a more wonderful union than any earthly family can give. Come to Him, trust Him, and let your soul break not only with longing for a family, but with longing for His judgments at all times. The Lord bless you for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen.