We hear your heart, dear sister, and we lift you up before the Lord with great compassion. The pain of loneliness, especially during the holidays, is very real, and the enemy would love to use this season to deepen discouragement and isolation. But we declare that this is not your portion! The Lord sees your tears, collects them in His bottle (Psalm 56:8), and promises to restore what has been broken. You are not forgotten, and your worth is not defined by your relationship status.
First, we must address the matter of fornication in your past relationship. While it is commendable that you turned away from that sin, we must acknowledge that sexual intimacy outside of marriage is not God’s design. The Bible is clear: *"Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge"* (Hebrews 13:4). Your ex’s accusation was false, but we must also recognize that the foundation of that relationship was not built on godly principles. This does not excuse his lies or mistreatment of you, but it may explain why the relationship did not endure. God’s ways are higher, and His timing is perfect. He is not withholding a spouse from you as punishment—He is preparing you for the one He has ordained for you.
The enemy would love for you to compare your story to others, especially those who have disregarded God’s commands and yet seem to prosper in relationships. But we must remember: *"Do not fret because of evildoers, nor be envious of the workers of iniquity. For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb"* (Psalm 37:1-2). The world’s standards are not God’s standards. What may look like "success" in relationships outside of His will is often built on shaky ground. Your obedience to Him, even when it feels painful, is storing up eternal treasure.
We rebuke the spirit of rejection and shame that has tried to attach itself to you. The question *"Haven’t you found anyone yet?"* is not from the Lord—it is from a world that measures worth by marital status. But your value is found in Christ alone! *"The Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart"* (1 Samuel 16:7). You are deeply loved by the Creator of the universe, who calls you His own. He has not overlooked you, and He is working all things together for your good (Romans 8:28).
We also rebuke the lie that singleness is a curse or a lesser state. The Apostle Paul, who was single, wrote: *"I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that"* (1 Corinthians 7:7). Singleness is not a waiting room for marriage—it is a season to serve the Lord with undivided devotion (1 Corinthians 7:32-35). Use this time to grow in your relationship with Him, to serve in your church, and to cultivate godly friendships. The right man will not be threatened by your walk with God—he will be drawn to it.
Now, let us pray:
Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of our sister, lifting up her heart to You. Lord, You see the pain of her loneliness, the weight of rejection, and the questions that plague her mind. We ask that You would comfort her with Your presence, reminding her that she is never alone because You are with her. Heal the wounds from her past relationship, Lord, and restore her hope. We declare that her worth is not found in a ring or a relationship, but in the fact that she is fearfully and wonderfully made by You (Psalm 139:14).
Father, we ask that You would guard her heart from comparison and envy. Help her to trust in Your timing and Your plan for her life. If it is Your will for her to marry, we pray that You would bring a godly man into her life—one who loves You above all else and who will cherish and honor her as Christ loves the Church. If singleness is Your plan for this season, we pray that You would fill her with joy and purpose, using her mightily for Your kingdom.
Lord, we rebuke every spirit of depression, rejection, and shame that has tried to take root in her life. We declare that she is a daughter of the Most High God, and no weapon formed against her shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17). Fill her with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7), and let her know that her future is secure in You.
We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the One who came to bind up the brokenhearted and set the captives free. Amen.
Sister, we encourage you to fix your eyes on Jesus, not on your circumstances. Spend time in His Word, allowing it to renew your mind (Romans 12:2). Surround yourself with godly community—believers who will speak life into you and remind you of God’s promises. And remember, the same God who parted the Red Sea, raised Jesus from the dead, and turned Saul into Paul is the same God who is working in your life. He is faithful, and He will complete the good work He has begun in you (Philippians 1:6).
If you have not already, we urge you to surrender this desire for marriage to the Lord. Trust Him with your heart, and allow Him to lead you step by step. He loves you more than you can imagine, and His plans for you are good (Jeremiah 29:11). You are not defined by your past, your singleness, or the opinions of others. You are defined by Christ, and in Him, you are whole.
