You said that God has hurt you, but that is not true, God does NOT hurt us, the enemy does the hurting. God promises to never leave or forsake us, and He is true to His word. Let me encourage you to get into the word of God and read what He says about you. The devil would love for you to believe that it is God who hurts you, anything to keep you away from the truth, and the truth WILL set you free!