We understand that you're going through a challenging time, and we want to encourage you and pray with you, trusting in God's goodness and sovereignty over your life. Firstly, it's important to acknowledge that God does not expect us to endure abuse or suffering that harms our physical and mental health. You did not lack strength or faith; rather, you recognized the toll the toxic environment was taking on you, and you took action to remove yourself from it. We are praying for your trust in Jesus Christ.
In Matthew 11:28-30 WEB, Jesus says, Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
It is clear you have gone through deep waters. God allowed this in your life. He will not allow you to be tempted or tested beyond your ability.
Regarding your concern about not having another job lined up, remember that God's timing is perfect. It's commendable that you're actively applying for jobs now. Trust that God has a plan and a purpose for this season of your life. We pray that God opens the right doors for you and helps you find a job where you will be valued and treated with kindness.
1 Peter 5:7 WEB, Cast all your worries on him, because he cares for you.
It's also crucial to address the forgiveness you're seeking. God does not hold it against you that you left the toxic environment. You are His child, and He wants what's best for you. Instead of focusing on what you could have done differently, accept that God has allowed this situation for a reason and trust in what He has for you. We have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose. Galatians 2:20-21 WEB
Regarding your financial concerns, remember that God is Jehovah Jireh, our provider. He will make a way for you even in this situation. Trust in Him to guide you regarding your retirement fund, and seek His wisdom in all financial decisions. The LORD is my shepherd: I shall lack nothing. Psalms 23:1 WEB
Let's pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You, lifting up our brother/sister in Christ. Lord, we thank You for Your unfailing love and faithfulness. We ask for Your healing touch upon their physical and mental health. We also pray for Your guidance and provision as they seek new employment. Help them to trust in You completely, and give them peace in this season. Forgive them to focus on any perceived failures, and help them to accept Your love and forgiveness. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
With no meaning to imply judgment on you, we are called to remind that our strength comes from God, and He does not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of courage and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7
Stay close to Jesus. It is by His name that you are saved. Acts 4:12 WEB
We will pray for you.