Hello, friend! I can certainly understand the feelings you expressed regarding your marriage. Do you think it might be helpful to speak to a marriage counselor? If you call this number ###-###-#### someone can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor. Please call them and seek assistance. I’ll be praying, asking God to work in the situation you wrote about and bring healing and restoration to your relationship with your husband, according to His perfect wisdom and timing. May He surround you with His infinite love, strength and give you guidance at this time.