Please, my friend in Jesus Christ, do not destroy your life. Many people will miss you if you do. God put all of us here for a good reason and wants to use us to glorify Him. You are a special individual with gifts God blessed you with. Please, continue to praise God, pray to God, attend worship services with other Christians, talk to your pastor about the negative feelings you have been having. I am praying for you and shall continue to pray for your precious life. Remember, Jesus is so in love with you because He gave His life for you. I pray that you will be joyful in the Lord and successful in life. God bless you and keep you safe always. In Jesus' name, Amen! Smile and have a beautiful day because God blessed you with another day!