qbase30
Disciple of Prayer
Please continue to pray for me and my wife. Long story short, my wife wants a divorce. Is filing for a divorce. I have been praying and seeking God's wisdom and Will through all of this and believe His Will is for us to be reconciled to each other. I did receive the following letter from my wife though who seems to have recognized my efforts but just can't seem to bring herself to reconcile. I pray for guidance on what to do next.
This is the letter from my wife:
I’m having a bad day. I feel like my life is a mess. I’m 35 and have made so many mistakes. I’m not at all where I envisioned myself being at 35. I feel like crawling into a hole and coming out when I feel better. I’d rather be alone. I’ve messed up everything I’ve ever gotten close to. I hate what I’m doing to you. I know you are trying to make me feel wanted and stuff but being around you and you pursuing me makes me feel so awful inside. Like what you were saying about Caleb and how he doesn’t want to be with me and how you would trade places with him. It kills me to know how I am tearing apart the family because of my decision to not take you back. It’s all my fault. I don’t know how I continue to be friends with you because I feel like you will never move on with your life and that kills me. You have no idea what it feels like. I want you to be happy and to watch you suffer kills me. It makes me not want to talk to you or be around you except to exchange the boys and communicate only when we need to. It’s a horrible feeling inside to not be able to give you what you need to be happy. And it’s because I needed to go to such extremes in order to get your attention. It’s not the same as you just doing it when we were together. I feel like your persistence is pushing me further away. I know it’s not fair to you but I can’t give you the same.
This is the letter from my wife:
I’m having a bad day. I feel like my life is a mess. I’m 35 and have made so many mistakes. I’m not at all where I envisioned myself being at 35. I feel like crawling into a hole and coming out when I feel better. I’d rather be alone. I’ve messed up everything I’ve ever gotten close to. I hate what I’m doing to you. I know you are trying to make me feel wanted and stuff but being around you and you pursuing me makes me feel so awful inside. Like what you were saying about Caleb and how he doesn’t want to be with me and how you would trade places with him. It kills me to know how I am tearing apart the family because of my decision to not take you back. It’s all my fault. I don’t know how I continue to be friends with you because I feel like you will never move on with your life and that kills me. You have no idea what it feels like. I want you to be happy and to watch you suffer kills me. It makes me not want to talk to you or be around you except to exchange the boys and communicate only when we need to. It’s a horrible feeling inside to not be able to give you what you need to be happy. And it’s because I needed to go to such extremes in order to get your attention. It’s not the same as you just doing it when we were together. I feel like your persistence is pushing me further away. I know it’s not fair to you but I can’t give you the same.
