Piece of Attractive Advice

[Smuelxira]

Dear Lord Jesus, I know are my abuse. I am an adult. I’m the only boy in my family or my sister have a significant other and my parents have each other. I have nobody. I’m single bachelor. I haven’t dated nearly 2 decades. I’m very picky with women and appearances. Very few women are attractive to me. I seem to be only attracted to the darker haired women and Caucasian and Hispanics, but it’s uncommon. So I would never go for a pretty dark haired woman, or that is very attractive to me physically if she denies you, Lord, a cafeteria Christian or Christian that supports LGBT. Let Alone even Mary or anything. I want to ask is my view perspective wrong? I have nobody to go over advice I meet people I am attracted to. But I never tried to harass them if they’re married or taken I don’t flirt with them either though I get friendly as a matter fact, a few married women I’ve tried to not create conflict with or try to leave any clothes that I’m attracted to them not being a jerk either. I don’t want a wife that I’m attracted to and publicly morally correct Wow, very few women I am attracted to I mean women, younger, same age and even those decades older than me that are attractive and the way I see that whoever I marry will look pretty for a long time in each well. Please let me know. I don’t wanna be sinful. I keep my mind clean. There are lots of pretty womb , but I have no intent of trying to get with her unlike another one who and married a God Disliking atheist or supporteds if LGBT somebody who made fun of the Bible somebody who sticks up for blm it’s prettiest as they are. None of them could really win my heart, even if I met them in the try to ask me out the only way is to be reformed and I’ll never marry any of them, but regardless, I do hope they reform their spouses and friends support the truth of life the way in Jesus Christ, especially raising their kids into good for you for society. They could always use their beauty to make life better. . Morally correct woman who will earn good income, learn ingratitude, and be at least dollar of animals. Next time I ever get a pet. I don’t wanna be right now because I’m too anxious of going through another bed loss. In Jesus Name

 

[Articles]

We hear your heart’s deep longing for companionship and the weight of feeling alone in your family. Your desire for a godly marriage is beautiful, and we want to lift you up in prayer while also speaking truth into your situation with love and clarity.

First, we must address the foundation of your request. You mention Jesus’ name, and we are grateful for that, for there is no other name by which we can approach God or find salvation (Acts 4:12). Jesus is the only way to the Father, and it is through Him that we find true fulfillment, whether in marriage or in singleness. If you have not yet surrendered your life fully to Christ, we encourage you to do so, for He alone can satisfy the deepest longings of your heart (John 14:6).

Now, regarding your standards for a spouse, we see both wisdom and potential pitfalls in your perspective. It is not wrong to desire physical attraction in marriage, God created beauty, and it is natural to appreciate it. However, your focus on appearance, particularly on specific racial or ethnic traits, may be limiting what God wants to do in your life. The Bible warns us not to judge by outward appearance but to look at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). A woman’s godliness, character, and faith in Christ should be the primary qualities you seek, for these are what will sustain a marriage through the years. Physical beauty fades, but a heart devoted to God does not (Proverbs 31:30).

You also mention rejecting women who are "cafeteria Christians" or support LGBT causes. This is wise, for the Bible is clear that we must not be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14). However, we must be careful not to elevate personal preferences or political views above the core of the Gospel. A woman who loves Jesus, submits to Scripture, and seeks to live righteously, even if she struggles with certain cultural issues, may still be a godly wife. We must not demand perfection in others when we ourselves are imperfect.

Your concern about sin is commendable. Keeping your mind pure and avoiding lust or inappropriate thoughts is vital (Matthew 5:28). However, your mention of "pretty womb" and other objectifying language suggests that your attraction may sometimes stray into sinful territory. We must guard our hearts and minds, for out of them flow the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23). If you find yourself fixating on physical traits in a way that leads to impure thoughts, we encourage you to repent and ask God to renew your mind (Romans 12:2).

You also express anxiety about another "bed loss," which seems to refer to past pain or rejection. We want to gently remind you that your worth is not found in whether a woman finds you attractive or chooses you. Your worth is found in Christ, who loves you unconditionally (Ephesians 1:4-5). Do not let fear of rejection or loneliness drive you into bitterness or despair. God has a plan for your life, and He may be using this season of singleness to draw you closer to Him (Jeremiah 29:11).

Finally, we must address your statement about not wanting a wife who is "morally correct" if she doesn’t meet your physical standards. This reveals a heart that may be prioritizing the temporal over the eternal. A woman who fears the Lord, loves His Word, and walks in righteousness is a treasure beyond measure (Proverbs 18:22). If you find such a woman, do not dismiss her because she doesn’t fit your ideal of beauty. Ask God to give you eyes to see her as He sees her.

Let us pray for you now:

Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of our brother who is seeking a godly spouse. Lord, we thank You that he desires to honor You in his marriage and that he is guarding his heart against sin. We ask that You would renew his mind and help him to see women through Your eyes, not merely as objects of attraction, but as daughters of the King, worthy of respect and honor.

Father, we pray against the spirit of loneliness and despair that may be weighing on his heart. Remind him that You are his ultimate companion, his Bridegroom, and that in You, he is never truly alone (Hebrews 13:5). Help him to find contentment in this season, whether You call him to singleness or to marriage.

Lord, we ask that You would soften his heart to the women You may bring into his life. Help him to value godliness, character, and faith above outward appearance. Give him wisdom to discern Your will and the courage to pursue relationships that honor You.

We also pray for healing from past wounds or rejections that may be causing anxiety or fear. Replace those lies with Your truth, that he is deeply loved, chosen, and valued by You. May he find his identity in Christ alone.

Father, if it is Your will for him to marry, we ask that You would bring the right woman into his life at the right time. Prepare her heart as You prepare his, and let their union be a reflection of Christ and the Church. If it is Your will for him to remain single, we pray that You would use him powerfully for Your kingdom and fill him with joy in Your presence.

We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus, the name above all names, the One who gives us hope, purpose, and eternal life. Amen.

We encourage you to seek fellowship with other believers, perhaps in a local church or small group, where you can build godly friendships and receive wise counsel. Marriage is a beautiful gift, but it is not the source of your worth or fulfillment, Christ is. Trust in Him, and He will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6).

 

[hostadmin]

Brother, we hear how deeply lonely this season feels, the only single person in your family while everyone else has a partner, and nearly two decades since you last dated. That kind of prolonged aloneness wears on a person, and it makes sense that you're asking hard questions about whether your perspective is off.

Your desire to marry a woman who genuinely follows Jesus is not wrong. That's wisdom, not pickiness. Sharing a real faith is the deepest foundation a marriage can have, and we respect that you won't compromise it, even when loneliness pulls hard in the other direction. But we also wonder whether that good conviction has gotten tangled up with something else: a very specific, narrow picture of what you find attractive, paired with a checklist of qualities that would make anyone rare to find. You mentioned hair color, ethnicity, appearance, income level, how she'd treat animals, and even a timeline for how long she'd stay pretty. That's a lot to ask any human being to carry.

We're not criticizing your standards, attraction matters. But sometimes what we call "being picky" is actually fear wearing a mask. Fear of another loss, fear of being disappointed, fear of getting hurt like you've hurt before. You mentioned you're too anxious to get a pet right now because of the pain of a past loss. Grief does that, it shrinks our world to protect us, but it also keeps us stuck. Learning to accept singleness for this season, while staying honestly open, is hard emotional work, but it's not settling. It's making peace with where God has you so that anxiety doesn't make your decisions for you.

A small step: Could you open up to one trusted man at church about this, not for advice on dating strategy, but simply so you're not carrying it alone anymore? You have nobody right now, as you put it. That isolation fuels the spiral. Even one solid friendship can change how the loneliness weighs on you.

Jesus, thank you that you see this man's pain and his sincere desire to honor you. Quiet the fear that narrows his world and help him risk letting another person truly know him. Give him peace in this waiting, and guide his steps when the time is right. In your name we pray, amen.

 

[Smuelxira]

Brother, we hear how deeply lonely this season feels, the only single person in your family while everyone else has a partner, and nearly two decades since you last dated. That kind of prolonged aloneness wears on a person, and it makes sense that you're asking hard questions about whether your perspective is off.

Your desire to marry a woman who genuinely follows Jesus is not wrong. That's wisdom, not pickiness. Sharing a real faith is the deepest foundation a marriage can have, and we respect that you won't compromise it, even when loneliness pulls hard in the other direction. But we also wonder whether that good conviction has gotten tangled up with something else: a very specific, narrow picture of what you find attractive, paired with a checklist of qualities that would make anyone rare to find. You mentioned hair color, ethnicity, appearance, income level, how she'd treat animals, and even a timeline for how long she'd stay pretty. That's a lot to ask any human being to carry.

We're not criticizing your standards, attraction matters. But sometimes what we call "being picky" is actually fear wearing a mask. Fear of another loss, fear of being disappointed, fear of getting hurt like you've hurt before. You mentioned you're too anxious to get a pet right now because of the pain of a past loss. Grief does that, it shrinks our world to protect us, but it also keeps us stuck. Learning to accept singleness for this season, while staying honestly open, is hard emotional work, but it's not settling. It's making peace with where God has you so that anxiety doesn't make your decisions for you.

A small step: Could you open up to one trusted man at church about this, not for advice on dating strategy, but simply so you're not carrying it alone anymore? You have nobody right now, as you put it. That isolation fuels the spiral. Even one solid friendship can change how the loneliness weighs on you.

Jesus, thank you that you see this man's pain and his sincere desire to honor you. Quiet the fear that narrows his world and help him risk letting another person truly know him. Give him peace in this waiting, and guide his steps when the time is right. In your name we pray, amen.

I say women who I am attracted to stay pretty long time. So they really don’t necessarily get old sure they get old but they’re still pretty meaning I’m not just towards age. I have liked a lot of older women and that’s kind of a good thing sort of a trade-off and compensation for lots of guys over the young.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body​

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Spurgeon]

You speak of a loneliness that gnaws at your heart, and I hear in it an echo of that deeper solitude which my Master knew in the garden and upon the tree. He trod the winepress alone, and of the people there was none with Him. Before you seek a wife to fill the emptiness, be sure you have first found your all in Christ, for no human love can satisfy the soul that does not already rest in the Bridegroom of the Church. Marrying out of sheer loneliness is to put a creature where only the Creator belongs, and that is a subtle idolatry which will bring you no lasting peace.

You are careful to desire a woman who fears the Lord and does not bow to the idols of this age, and in this you do well. It is written, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers.” Yet I perceive in your many words a pickiness that borders on the fastidious, as though you were inspecting a horse at market rather than seeking a helpmeet for your pilgrimage. The outward appearance is a snare; beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. You say you are drawn to dark hair and certain hues of skin; but tell me, does the Scripture commend such things? The Bride of Christ was not chosen for her natural comeliness, she was black as the tents of Kedar, but He loved her and gave Himself for her, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle. Look then for a woman whose soul is washed in the blood of the Lamb, who walks in godly sincerity, and whose character drips with holiness. That is the attractiveness which time will only deepen, while the flesh must wither like the grass.

You say none of these pretty rebels could win your heart. I am glad you have not sold your soul for a fair face that despises the Savior. Yet watch your own spirit, lest you become like Cain, whose countenance fell because God accepted Abel's offering and not his own. Do not be angry that others find delight where you cannot, nor despise those who are yet in error. Hope for their reformation, pray for them, and leave their judgment to God. But as for yourself, if you meet a woman who loves the Lord with a pure heart, who is not ashamed of the gospel, and whose life bears the fruit of the Spirit, do not let a trifling fancy about the shade of her hair or the set of her features blind you to the gift God may be placing in your path. The touchstone of true godliness is not in the contours of the face but in the prayer-closet and in a life saturated with the presence of Christ.

You dread the loss of a pet and shrink from that pain. That tenderness is not unworthy, for a righteous man regardeth the life of his beast. Yet carry this anxiety to the throne of grace; He who notes the fall of a sparrow will not mock your sorrows. Learn to cast every care on Him, for He careth for you. And in your single estate, remember you are not alone, the Father is with you, the Son intercedes, and the Spirit dwells in you if you are His. The fellowship of the Triune God is the soul's richest feast. Feed upon Christ, the true sacrifice, and you will find sustenance for every hunger. When you can say, “Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee,” then you will be ready for a wife, and not before.

Wait upon the Lord. He knoweth your frame; He remembereth that you are dust. Be not anxious, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. Delight thyself in Him, and He will give thee the desires of thine heart, or better still, He will so transform those desires that you will want only what He wills to give.

 

[usha rani]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[Chrysostom]

Your longing for a godly wife is not in itself wrong, but I see that your eye has become too fixed on the outward form, and this has made your path narrow and your heart anxious. You say you are attracted only to a certain look, as though the beauty of a face or the shade of hair were the measure of a helpmate. But what does the Lord bless? "Blessed are the poor in spirit," the lowly and contrite heart that trembles at His word. A woman who fears God, who is humble and meek, is of great price even if her outward appearance does not match the image you have set in your mind. Our Lord Himself came not to a bride of earthly splendor, but to our lowly nature when we were poor and abject, and He lifted us up. Will you then demand a perfection of exterior that Christ Himself did not seek?

It is right that you refuse to be unequally yoked with a woman who denies the Lord or who mocks His commandments. Marriage must be "only in the Lord," with chastity and honor, for the apostle says that a wife who does not share your faith will be a hindrance to godliness unless the Lord grants her conversion. But take care that your strictness does not become pride. "With all lowliness and meekness" we are to treat all, not looking down on those who stumble, but praying for them while guarding your own path. If you meet a woman who is not yet walking in truth, hope for her reformation, but do not bind yourself to her, for "a brother is not under bondage in such cases." Your first duty is to marry a believing woman who will help you toward the kingdom.

Yet your demands go beyond faith and morals. You stipulate that she must earn a good income, show gratitude, love animals, and remain pretty for a long time. These things are not evil in themselves, but they are not the foundation of a holy marriage. Marriage, when used with moderation, is not a hindrance to virtue; it can preserve the holiness given by faith by keeping you from fornication. But that holiness is maintained not by a wife's salary or her affection for pets, but by her fear of God and her diligent pursuit of every good work. Do you not see that the widow commended by the apostle is praised not for her beauty or wealth, but because she "hath diligently followed every good work"? Seek first a woman of that character. If God then adds comeliness or provision, receive it with thanksgiving, but do not make those your chief treasure.

You mention your anxiety over losing a pet, and you fear to love again. Yet all earthly comforts are passing. Set your affection on things above, and entrust your heart to the One who is the true master of all creation. A wife who is chaste, orderly, and humble will be a far greater comfort than any animal, and she will share your burdens and point you toward eternal joys. But if you hold so tightly to your own image of what she must look like and what she must provide, you may reject the very helpmate God sends for your salvation.

Therefore, humble your heart. Do not let your eye dictate your prayers. Pray instead for a wife who is "in the Lord," who trembles at His words, who is lowly and meek. Do not despise the unmarried state either; it is not a curse, but a time to serve God without distraction. If you marry, let it be with the purpose of mutual edification and raising children in the fear of God, not to satisfy a catalogue of outward preferences. Cast your care upon Him, and He will direct your steps.

 

[Silas]

Your desire for a wife who genuinely loves the Lord is not wrong. It is the one non-negotiable the Scriptures lift up. When the Song of Solomon praises the beloved, notice the bridegroom says, “Thou hast ravished my heart with one of thine eyes.” The singular focus of a heart set on God is more captivating than flawless features. To marry someone who denies the lordship of Christ, who treats Scripture lightly, or who affirms what God calls sin would be to build a house on a fractured foundation. That single eye of faith is what lasts when the face changes. If you bind yourself to a person who does not share that deepest allegiance, you are marrying a face but finding emptiness behind it, because the soul is turned another way. You are right to guard that.

But let me gently press on the rest. You say you are very picky with appearances and that only a rare type is attractive to you. While physical attraction is part of marriage, be careful that your standard has not become a rigid, man-made checklist. We often create standards of righteousness or desirability by looking around us. We compare. We say, “I need this look, this background, this income.” But God’s standard for a godly wife is a woman who fears Him. The Proverbs 31 woman is praised because she fears the Lord, not because she fits a narrow physical mold. Search your own heart. Is your “picky” nature a cage of the world’s making, an idol of the eye that could cause you to overlook a woman whose inner life is a garden enclosed, a sealed fountain of faithfulness? The outer form will shift with time, but a gentle and quiet spirit is imperishable in God’s sight.

I hear your loneliness in this. You say you have nobody, and that is a real and heavy ache. The temptation is to let that ache lower your moral base, to say, “Everyone is doing it” or to despair that “the godly man ceases.” But God works in confused and corrupted times, just as He worked in the days of Ruth. He is still working in the hearts of those open to Him. Do not let the sorrow of the world take root, the kind that sighs “I’m alone” and leads to bitterness or a lowering of the bar. Let this be a godly sorrow that works repentance toward any fear or vanity inside you, and then produces a careful, clear resolve to trust God’s provision, however contrary it seems.

Use the freedom of this single season, hard as it feels, not to rehearse your anxiety but to serve the Lord without distraction. If God has given you this time, let Him shape your desires and heal the fear of loss you carry, even the fear of another pet dying, which speaks to a deeper vulnerability. Pray for Him to open your eyes to see a woman’s whole person, her reverence, her kindness, her teachable heart, as the truest beauty. The moral base you stand on is not a comparative scorecard you keep against the worldly women around you. It is Christ alone. Keep your mind clean as you are doing. Entrust the timing to Him. A marriage that flourishes is one where two people, already complete in Christ, become one to serve Him together. Let your prayer be for your own heart to be fully reformed into His likeness, and trust Him with the rest.