Badfupa
Disciple of Prayer
I am ready. I have been nothing but trouble for everyone in my life. I have ruined my wife due to my issues, I have no family and no friends. My whole life has been a mess no matter how successful I feel I am over others. I hurt inside. I am afraid. I hate myself and am embarrassed for myself. I am depressed. My life has been depressed. From being raped as a child on several occasions up to now where I don't know how to functional as a normal human being. I'm tired. I see no hope, no light. The exhaustion from being so low, so unbelieving in myself has taken its toll. I see no answers, I have no fire inside. Just hollow, just like what my wife says. I am not a good person, never have been. My life has been a lie and every day strengthens that lie. I'm not a good person and I am done. Those of you who read this. If you pray for me, I humbly thank each and every one of you and would kiss you on the forehead if I could. This writing from me is desperation. Pure desperation. Tomorrow when I wake up, it will be the same. It always is no matter if I try to change it or pray that god fixes it for me. Desperation is all I have left besides the loneliness. I'm so very tired.....thank you for listening and thank you for praying.
