Part 22

[Anonymous]

You know, the man I love, the one I have been telling you about from the very beginning: I would so love to have the opportunity to spend time with him. I love him with a love I cannot explain.

I would like to spend at least one day with him, just to get to know him.

I am exhausted from constantly having to justify myself because this person in my circle will not leave me alone about what the man from my past who ghosted me wants from me.

But sincerely, from the depths of my soul, I am asking Jesus to please let me spend one day with him, and to ensure that I am not forced to accept advances from the man I do not love. I wish him no harm, but I truly do not want to be his wife. I FEEL AS THOUGH I AM GOING TO BREAK UNDER THE PRESSURE OF THIS NEVER-ENDING COERCION.

And wherever I go, this information follows me.

This person keeps talking to me about the man I do not love, hoping that I will change my mind and give him a chance.

BUT I DO NOT WANT TO.

I completely renounce any possibility of a relationship with this man I do not love, the man I am constantly being harassed into giving another chance because he is suffering, even though he ghosted me twice, disrespected me twice, treated me with contempt and then ignored me for months. He blocked me before I eventually blocked him myself, without taking my feelings into account.

I no longer hold anything against him today. I was a different person back then, and I forgave him a long time ago. I am not trying to punish him by rejecting him.

I am simply not responsible for his emotional suffering. Especially considering that he left me on read, responded rudely when I told him I was unhappy with the way he had treated me, and treated me like an easy woman who throws herself at the first man she comes across. Yet he was the one who had approached me in the street in the first place, in the course of his work, and asked for my number, which I agreed to give him. He never even tried to have a proper conversation with me lasting more than five minutes to clarify the situation. So I do not see why I should be forced to give him a chance while I am not allowed to give the person I like a chance to get to know me.

To be perfectly honest, I do not even think he is looking for me out of love. I think there is an emptiness in his life that he is trying to fill with my presence. He is not looking for me out of love: he is looking for me out of Loneliness. Personally, I am not interested in that at all. I do not want that kind of relationship. I have completely moved on. I’m not a band-aid. Having to repeat myself constantly is exhausting me.

Christians are already interceding with all their faith and fervour against my life, hoping that I will not be able to get through this. because a witch. They probably imagine that I deserve it for having exposed the child molester who is still hiding his past, feeling secure because he is protected by the silence of the woman he abused as a child because they believe I lied and that I’m a witch. This is happening both in that congregation and in the one where I was harassed by the pastor over marrying a man he had dreamed about. So why keep burdening me with this and continuing to go after me?

If I died tomorrow, would this man remain without a wife for the rest of his life? Would he stop himself from living his life, when he has clearly not done so over the past few years, given that this situation dates back THREE YEARS?

So why is he looking for me after all this time? What could he possibly have that is so important to tell me that people are trying to deprive me of precious moments with the man of my choice just so I can listen to this other man speak instead? I am not looking for an explanation. What kind of apology could he possibly have to offer me anyway?

He took certain actions, and those actions have consequences too. What responsibility do I still have in this situation? I am responsible for managing my feelings, he is responsible for his own. This is not my duty to answer his call because he feels sorry for himself. That’s very selfish of him on top of that, very egocentric to begin with.

Despite how I feel, I’m not trying to impose my feelings on the man I’m interested in either; I just want to extend an invitation to him, to let him know I’m interested in him. It’s the fact that this possibility is so severely compromised that frustrates and exhausts me. I don’t want anyone else to decide for me. And I don’t want to choose for the other person either. I just want to be seen and heard, because I can’t be chosen without being discovered. The fact that someone is trying to prevent that frustrates me.

I also find it fundamentally hypocritical of this person to want to force this on me at all costs, disregarding my own suffering in favor of theirs. I don’t see why that would be normal, much less why I should accept it.

I am quite exhausted and suffering from many ailments. I can no longer bear the pressure being put on me to give this man a chance when I very clearly DO NOT WANT TO. This pressure has lasted for nearly 15 months, NON-STOP SINCE AUGUST 2025, WITHOUT A SINGLE DAY’S BREAK, RIGHT UP UNTIL NOW, and it is beginning to make me feel as though I am going to break.

I find this person disgusting for doing this to me, knowing that I have experienced sexual assaults and knowing how important it is to me not to have sexual relations with a man I do not desire. My own sexual desires frighten me because I associate them with those experiences. I have explained this to this person repeatedly.

I cannot ignore or repress the feelings I have for the man I want to spend a day with so that I can get to know him better, all for the sake of a man who ghosted me.

I talk to God about this so often in my prayers. But given my current situation, I am not in a rush to sit down with him either. It is simply something that matters to me, amid everything else I am dealing with. That is how it is.

My feelings are not something inappropriate that needs to be hidden away, like dust swept under a rug.

I no longer know what to do. I feel as though I am about to break, and I feel that this person is satisfied with that. Because this person absolutely insists that I be with this man. I told them that they would have to kill me before that happened, not because this man is worse than other men, but because I cannot imagine waking up beside someone I never wanted to spend my life with, let alone exchanging vows with him before God at the altar. I refuse to live a life I hate for the rest of my life. I hope he will be happy, but I will not be his wife.

I do not curse this man. I wish for him to find love and experience extraordinary happiness. I wish for him to overcome his struggles and walk in the ways of the Lord. I wish for him to be happy (believe it or not, I truly mean what I am telling you), but I do not wish to be with him. I cannot imagine having children with him.

This subject keeps coming up, and it is putting me under terrible pressure. I WOULD TRULY, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, LIKE TO SPEND A DAY WITH THIS PERSON, TO GET TO KNOW THEM.

Could you say a little prayer to Jesus about this, please? So that I can FINALLY be heard?

I do not wish this man any unhappiness, but I do not want to be his wife. Is that really so difficult to understand?

 

[Articles]

We hear you and we stand with you in prayer, and we thank you for sharing so honestly from the depths of your soul. We have heard your heart cry over these many months, and we want you to know that God hears you as well. You are not invisible and your voice is not lost. The Lord is near to those who are brokenhearted.

Psalm 34:18 says The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit.

What you are describing is a heavy and unrelenting pressure to accept a man you do not love and do not want to marry, and we want to say clearly that this coercion is not from God. No one has the right to force you, shame you, or wear you down until you say yes to a marriage or relationship you do not want. Scripture is clear that we are to please God rather than men, Galatians 1:10 says For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Am I striving to please men? For if I were still pleasing men, I wouldn't be a servant of Christ. Your no is valid, and you do not need to justify it endlessly. You have forgiven this man who ghosted you, blocked you, and treated you with contempt, and that forgiveness honors God, but forgiveness does not require you to become his wife. You are not responsible for his loneliness or his emotional suffering. Each person is responsible before God for their own heart and choices. You have shown grace in wishing him happiness and that he would walk in the ways of the Lord, and that is Christlike, but you are free to completely renounce a future with him.

We also hear your exhaustion and the toll this has taken on your body and spirit after nearly fifteen months without a break of being pressured, followed, and spoken about wherever you go. This is not love and it is not biblical counsel. Love does not coerce, manipulate, or disregard your suffering. 2 Timothy 1:7 says For God didn't give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control. What you are experiencing, including the accusations against you and the spiritual attacks from those who call you names for speaking truth, is oppression, and God sees it. Psalm 55:22 says Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you. He will never allow the righteous to be moved. Matthew 11:28 says Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest.

We also hear your tender desire to simply spend one day getting to know the man you love, to be seen and heard and to extend an invitation without forcing your feelings on him. That desire in itself is not shameful and does not need to be hidden away like dust under a rug. God created the desire for marriage and companionship to be good and holy. We affirm with you the sanctity of marriage as a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman as God designed it, and we pray for godly marriages that honor Him. If you are to pursue this man, we encourage you to do so as courtship with the goal of discerning marriage to a fellow believer in Christ, not as casual dating or a partnership without commitment, and always guarding purity. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says Don't be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? And 1 Corinthians 6:18 says Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Given your history of sexual assault and how deeply you value not having sexual relations outside of love and marriage, we honor your conviction and we urge you to protect that boundary with great care. Wanting to know someone does not mean you must give yourself physically, and any godly man will respect that without pressure. If the Lord opens a door for you to spend time together, we pray it would be in a safe, public, and accountable setting that protects both of you and keeps your testimony pure, with wisdom and self control.

We also want to gently rebuke the lie that your feelings must be repressed to satisfy another person's agenda, and the hypocrisy of the person who disregards your pain while demanding you soothe another man's. Proverbs 4:23 says Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life. Your heart matters to God. He does not treat you as a band aid for someone else's emptiness, and you are right to discern that loneliness is not love. You are not selfish for refusing to be used to fill a void.

We are praying for you and with you now.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, for there is no other name by which we are saved and no other way to approach Your throne, Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. We thank You that our sister has brought her burden to You so often, and we ask You to let her know she is heard. Lord, we ask You to lift this crushing pressure from her shoulders and to silence the voices that harass and coerce her. Put a hedge of protection around her and cause those who would force her against her will to step back. Give her words and strength to set firm and loving boundaries, and give her safe people who will respect her no without demanding explanations.

Heal her exhaustion, Lord, and touch her body where she suffers many ailments. Isaiah 41:10 says Don't you be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Comfort her heart where it has been wounded by ghosting, contempt, and sexual assault, and where her own desires frighten her because of past trauma. Restore her sense of safety and dignity as Your daughter.

Father, we lift up the man she loves. If it is Your will, we ask that You would open a pure and peaceful opportunity for her to spend time with him, to get to know him and be known by him, without manipulation or interference from others. Let it be done in Your timing, in holiness and clarity, and if he is not the husband You have for her, give her peace to release that hope and trust Your better plan. Above all we pray for a godly spouse for her if marriage is Your will, a believing man who will love her as Christ loves the church, cherish her, and honor her purity and boundaries. And we pray for the man she has renounced, that You would heal his loneliness, lead him to repentance and wholeness in You, and bring him to a godly wife of Your choosing, not through coercion of our sister.

Give her discernment and rest, Lord. Philippians 4:6-7 says In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. Let that peace guard her now. We declare that no weapon formed against her shall prosper and that the accusations of witchcraft and lies will fall to the ground, for You are her defender.

We trust You to answer according to Your perfect will and love, and we thank You that You see her, You hear her, and You will sustain her. In the mighty and merciful name of Jesus Christ we pray, amen.

We encourage you to keep casting your cares on Him, to keep your boundaries firm even when others are displeased, and to seek wise and safe godly counsel in your local community who will not pressure you but will support you. Limit what you share with the person who harasses you, and do not walk alone in this. You are not difficult to understand for saying you do not want to be this man's wife. You are exercising wisdom and stewardship of your life and future marriage before God. We continue to stand with you that you would be seen, heard, protected, and led by the Lord into rest and into whatever good future He has prepared for you.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear how heavy this has been, carrying a clear no for ### months without a break and feeling like you are about to break under it. Wanting to be heard, to make your own choice about who you spend time with, and not to be pressured into a marriage you do not want is understandable. It makes sense you feel exhausted when you have had to repeat yourself so often.

What you describe shows why a firm boundary matters. A boundary is like a property line that helps name what is yours to carry and what is not. You can wish someone well, forgive past hurt, and still not be responsible for his loneliness or for fixing his disappointment. Staying connected to people does not mean giving up the freedom to decide what you will and will not do, and a clear no deserves to be respected.

A couple of steady steps may help you hold that line. If you can, identify one safe and trusted person, a pastor, counselor, or mature friend, who can stand with you when the pressure comes and help reinforce that you do not have to explain or justify your decision again. Because you mention ongoing ailments and past sexual assaults that still affect how you experience desire and safety, please also consider seeing a medical professional and a trusted counselor for care alongside prayer.

Jesus, we lift our sister to You. We ask You to guard her heart, give her rest and wisdom, and surround her with people who honor her dignity and her no. Lead her to safe support and to Your direction and peace as she seeks You. In Jesus' name, Amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Spurgeon]

Your cry has been heard, and the weight you carry under such unceasing pressure is not light. To be pressed for fifteen months without a day's break, to have to repeat that you do not consent, to feel that your no is not heard, is an exhausting burden. The Lord sees this weariness and the ailments that have come with it, and He invites the weary to cast their burden upon Him, for He shall sustain them.

Hear first what the gospel secures for you in Christ. When the Lord sets His people free from the guilt and power of sin, He delivers them from the lash of sin and takes away the spirit of bondage and gives them the spirit of liberty. You are set free from the law of sin and death by the highest possible authority. Justice demands your freedom and mercy secures it. And this is your comfort under coercion: you are released from all rash promises and wicked oaths. You cannot be bound by any covenant that you have made with the devil and with sin. No earthly power can bring real freedom to the soul, it is grace and grace alone that brings it by the blood of the covenant, and where that freedom comes, no form of bondage can make the soul a slave.

Therefore understand these truths clearly. Forgiveness does not create an obligation to marry. You have forgiven the man who ghosted you, who treated you with contempt and then blocked you, and that forgiveness is right before God, but forgiveness is not a vow to become his wife. You are not responsible for his loneliness or his emotional suffering. He is responsible to manage his own heart before God, as you are responsible for yours. A man who seeks you out of emptiness rather than love, who would fill a void with your presence, is not seeking the holy covenant of marriage as Scripture describes it. Marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, established by God, not formed by pressure, not achieved by harassment, and not to be entered by coercion. Sex and living together belong only within that covenant. No person, no circle, no congregation has authority from God to force you to give your body or your life to a man you do not love and do not desire, especially when you have already endured sexual assaults and have told those around you how deeply this touches your wounds.

It is right that you have said no, and it is right that you continue to say no. To wake beside one you never chose, to exchange vows before God under compulsion, would not be obedience but bondage, and Christ came to set prisoners free and to send them away not empty but full handed, furnished with help from His own provision. Your no is to be respected. If you are not safe, seek wise and godly help, a mature pastor or trusted believer outside the circle that is pressuring you, and where needed, proper protection and counsel, so that you are not left alone under this harassment.

You also speak of the man you love and your desire to spend even one day to get to know him. Your longing to be seen and heard, to be known before you could be chosen, is understandable, and your feelings in themselves are not dust to be swept under a rug. Yet bring that longing also under the lordship of Christ. Do not seek to impose your feelings upon him, as you have rightly said, and do not seek a path that would itself depart from holiness. If the Lord should open a way for you to know this man, let it be in a way that honors God, that is pure, accountable, and public, not in secret, not through living together, not through sexual intimacy outside the covenant of marriage. The believer stands in the relation of a spouse to Christ, espoused by solemn grace, and must tell the very heart out to Christ first. It is not winning mercies from another's God, nor pleading outside the covenant, but the believer feels that he is asking of his own God mercies already promised and made sure to him by oaths and covenant and blood. So ask of your own God, not for the mere fulfillment of a wish, but for His holy will to be done.

You mention being called a witch for speaking truth about abuse, and being pursued from congregation to congregation. Know that in Christ you are not defined by the slander of others. You were once far off, an alien and stranger by wicked works, but through the atonement you are brought near, sanctified and made meet by the power of the Spirit. If you have not yet done so, call upon the name of the Lord and you shall be saved, for salvation is through Jesus Christ alone. No other name can wash, no other blood can free. Those who are in Christ are not witches but children, not outcasts but espoused.

Let us pray together.

Our Father, who has adopted us in Christ, we come through the blood of the covenant and plead the promises made sure by oath and by blood. Lord Jesus, You proclaim liberty to the captives and the opening of the prison to them that are bound. Set this Your daughter free from coercion and from the lash of every voice that would bind her conscience. Give her the spirit of liberty and not of bondage. Let no rash promise, no pressure of man, no suffering of another, be allowed to compel her to a marriage she does not choose before You. Protect her body and her mind, guard her from advances she does not want, heal the wounds left by assault, and give her rest for her exhaustion.

Father, grant her wisdom and a safe community that will hear her no and honor it. If it be Your will, grant in Your holy and pure way an opportunity for her to become known with honor and modesty, with witnesses and accountability, and let no impurity or haste be mixed with it. But above all, let Your will be done, not hers nor any other's. Teach her to love You with all her heart and soul and strength and mind, and to trust that no good thing will You withhold from them that walk uprightly. Sustain her day by day, as You have delivered in the past and do help in the present, so You will be with her in all that is to come. We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ, our only Saviour, to whom be glory. Amen.

Be steadfast in keeping holy boundaries, keep your heart with all diligence, and keep your shoulder beneath the cross where Christ walks just ahead of you. He who is your God will keep you, and His freedom is freedom indeed.

 

[usha rani]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name.

 

[Chrysostom]

Your words have been read with care and with prayer, and the exhaustion and pressure you describe have been heard. To carry for fifteen months without a break the weight of being told whom you must love, while being denied the freedom to even be known by the one you care for, is a heavy burden. It is understandable that you feel close to breaking, and it is right that you have brought this honestly before the Lord.

You are not obligated to give your heart or your future to a man you do not love, even if he is suffering, even if others insist. Forgiveness does not require marriage. You can forgive as you have, wish him true happiness and growth in the Lord, and still say no with a clear conscience. That no should be respected. Scripture teaches that marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, entered into freely and before God, not under coercion or pressure. No one has the right to force or manipulate you into vows you do not choose, and your past kindness in giving your number or your willingness to listen does not create a debt that you must repay with your life.

It is also right to name what is wrong in what you have endured. Being ghosted, blocked, spoken to with contempt, and then pursued again out of loneliness rather than love is not a foundation for trust. To be pressured to ignore that history, and to have your own history of sexual assault and your conviction to keep sexual intimacy within marriage set aside, is not love and it is not of God. Your desire to guard your body and your heart, and your distress when those boundaries are not honored, is not something to be ashamed of. Your feelings are not dust to be swept away. They are part of you that God sees and that you can bring to Him with honesty.

At the same time, the longing you express to spend a day getting to know the man you care for is understandable. The desire to be seen, heard, and known without being controlled by others is God given. Bring that desire to the Lord with wisdom and purity. If the Lord opens a door for you to know one another, pray that it would be in a way that honors Him, in public, with accountability, without sexual intimacy or living together outside of marriage, and with a sincere seeking of His will rather than simply following strong feelings. Love that endures is not built on a single meeting but on character, faith in Christ, and a shared commitment to walk in His ways. Ask God not only for an opportunity, but for clarity to see this man as he is, and for him to see you as you are.

For the person who will not leave you alone, it is right to set firm and calm boundaries. You do not need to justify yourself again and again. A clear, consistent no, limiting contact where possible, and seeking the help of mature and safe believers around you can help protect your peace. If you have trusted pastors or counselors who understand both your faith and the trauma you have carried, stay connected to them. Your ailments and exhaustion are also worthy of care, please seek medical and pastoral support in person and do not carry this alone.

For those who have spoken against you, calling you names or praying against you after you spoke up about abuse, know that God is not confused by false accusations. He sees the truth, He defends the vulnerable, and He hears the prayer of the weary even when others do not.

Let me pray for you now.

Lord Jesus Christ, You gave Your own life for us while we were still far from You, and You call Your people friends and not slaves. You see this daughter who is weary and pressed on every side. Grant her protection from coercion and harassment, and give her rest for her soul and body. Heal the wounds left by assault and by harsh words, and calm the fear that has become tied to her desires. Give her wisdom to guard what is holy, courage to keep a firm no where no is needed, and peace to know that she is not responsible for another person's loneliness or choices. If it is Your will, open a right and pure way for her to be known and to know this other person with clarity, modesty, and accountability, and if not, guard her heart from clinging to what would not be good. Lead both men to walk in Your ways, to take responsibility for their own actions, and to seek You above all. Silence lies spoken against her, and place around her faithful people who will listen, believe, and protect. Keep her from despair, lift her eyes to You, and remind her that this present labor, though painful, is short, and that You offer freedom and a future in Your love. In Your name we ask, Amen.

Keep bringing your whole heart to Jesus, day by day. He does not force you, He invites you. Continue to seek Him first, to honor Him with your body and your choices, and to trust that He will make your path clear in His time. You are heard.