OSA & Acid Reflux/Gastro Esophageal Reflux Disease

[Anonymous]

I've mentioned my untreatable Sleep Apnea, but I've never mentioned my AR & Gastro Esophageal Reflux Disease. AR and GERD gets worse the older I get. Antacids and other medications are not strong enough overnight. Though I sleep in an almost sitting up position, I still turn and slide down on my sleep. Sometimes the acid that floats up into my throat and mouth will wake me up because I'm choking from all the bike and food that pushes up. I had a bad incident during the night last night and it took me awhile to recover. The stomach contents seem to push up easily, but the contents aren't easy to swallow back down even if I manage to spit out some of it. So, I have a double danger of stopping breathing or choking to death in my sleep. It's amazing that I haven't succumbed to either yet. Maybe if I get hit by both at the same time.If only I would be so lucky. However, I would rather just stop breathing as that is not as disruptive as choking to death. I still pray every night for God to allow me to succumb to my untreatable Obstructive Sleep Apnea. I am about to run out of many as i am being drained by Lyft expenses which is keeping me from being able to save money to get my car fixed. Local car rental agencies do not have any cars! How can that be?! I figured they moved all their cars to ### for the summer travel season. I'm running out of money fast. I pray God will kill me with my SA BEFORE I run out of money. If not, then I am going to have to end it myself because I will not survive on the streets for long. If God really loved me, them this would not be happening as it has over the last five years with 2 vehicles. My life has fallen apart over the last ten years and it's obvious I have crossed the Rubicon of no return, no forgiveness, and no redemption.Fine! I am not living, I am dying. For the most part, I died years ago within. I'm just waiting for the physical death. My ### birthday is in 2 weeks but, one or another, I most likely will not make it by then. That's fine; I can accept that. I just wish God would speed up the process. We all die sooner or later, I've been ready to go for years now. Maybe tonight will be the night, or tomorrow night, of the next, or? I just wish God would take the anticipation out of it and do it very soon because I am finding it harder and harder to go to work. People at work are asking me if I'm okay. Of course I say "I'm fine." I wish they would stop asking me that. I guess it's obvious I can't hide my despondency anymore. I've always been known to "always have a smile". However, that's always been my disguise for the vast majority of my life. I just can't pretend I like I used to anymore; all the more reason to go now. Let me go and let someone else live who really wants to and deserves to. I remember when I was a little kid that tried a couple of times to suffocate myself with my pillow, but if course, and obviously, I failed. Death is the best thing God can give me now. And as for your suggestions about calling anonymous "help" lines - there's no such thing. I've called before and in less than 10 mins of hanging up the phone, the police are knocking on my door. ND you can't block your number as the "anonymous" help lines automatically unblock your blocked number. Besides, ,I've gone to a mental health clinic before. The only thing that happens is you sit around for 3 hours, then somebody takes your name and asks what's wrong. They are a receptionist, not a counselor, therapist, or psychologist. The person who takes your name goes away for another hour and comes back and says they talked to "some medical people" and they say you can go home. Then when you get a copy of the bill, all these people whom you've never talked to are billed for "consultation" to the amount of up to three thousand dollars and I never talked to anyone except the person writing down my name who has more problems than I do. In this particular case the guy dressed like a woman, had long painted finger nails, earrings, makeup, a beard, a reeked like a dead skunk! So much for going to a mental health clinic. I certainly can't go to the hospital and put under a se enty two hour watch and evaluation - I can't afford to! I lose my motel room, probably lose my job, lose my pay for the dYs I missed, and probably lose what goods I have left that are in a storage unit. I would never be able to recover from the monetary loss...I'm running out of money now as it is! There's only one way to stop this slow and tortuous bleeding. The sooner, the better! Some people just aren't meant to live and only live because of "dumb luck". Well, there's nothing lucky about it.

 

[Articles]

We hear the depth of your suffering, and our hearts ache with you. The physical torment of OSA and GERD, the exhaustion of sleepless nights, the financial strain, and the crushing weight of despair, these are burdens no one should carry alone. But we must begin by addressing the most urgent matter: your soul. You speak of death as a release, even a gift, but Scripture tells us that life is a sacred trust from God. "The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord" (Job 1:21). Yet even in Job’s darkest hour, he did not curse God or seek his own end. You are not forgotten, nor are you beyond hope, though the pain may feel unbearable, God sees you.

You question whether God loves you because of your suffering, but His love is not measured by our circumstances. "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39). Your pain is real, but so is His love. The cross proves it, Jesus endured suffering far greater than ours to secure our redemption. If you do not yet know Him as Savior, we urge you to cry out to Him now. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life" (John 3:16). Salvation is not earned; it is received by faith in Christ alone.

Your physical struggles are severe, and we do not dismiss them. The choking, the sleeplessness, the financial strain, these are not small things. But we must rebuke the lie that death is the only answer. "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly" (John 10:10). The enemy wants you to believe you are beyond help, but God’s power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Have you sought every medical avenue? Sleep studies, specialized GERD treatments, or even disability assistance? We will pray for divine intervention in these areas, but we also urge you to fight for the life God has given you.

Your despair is understandable, but we must confront the bitterness toward God. You say, "If God really loved me, this would not be happening," yet Scripture shows us that suffering is not proof of God’s absence. Jesus Himself cried out on the cross, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46). Even in His darkest moment, God was working redemption. Your suffering is not meaningless, God can use it for His glory if you let Him.

We also must address the hopelessness you feel about help. You’ve had negative experiences with mental health services, and we grieve that the system failed you. But there are biblical counselors, pastors, and believers who would walk with you, not for a bill, but out of love. Have you reached out to a local church? Many have mercy ministries or prayer teams that would support you without cost. "Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2). You do not have to face this alone.

As for your financial struggles, we will pray for provision. "And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19). But we also encourage you to seek practical help, food banks, community resources, or even temporary work that doesn’t drain your health. God often provides through His people.

Now, we lift you up in prayer:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our brother in Christ. Lord, You see his pain, physical, emotional, and spiritual. You know the nights he chokes on acid, the exhaustion that weighs on him, and the despair that whispers lies. Father, we ask for Your healing touch. Ease his OSA and GERD, Lord. Give him restful sleep and relief from the torment. Provide financial breakthrough, Father, open doors for affordable medical care, reliable transportation, and steady provision.

But more than anything, we pray for his soul. If he does not yet know You as Savior, draw him to Yourself, Lord. Break the chains of bitterness and despair. Remind him that his life has value because You created him, and You are not done with him yet. Surround him with believers who will love him, pray for him, and walk with him through this valley. Give him hope, Father, hope that this suffering is not the end of his story.

We rebuke the spirit of death that has taken root in his heart. We declare that his life is in Your hands, not his own. Strengthen him to fight, Lord, not just for survival, but for the purpose You have for him. And if it is Your will to call him home, we trust You to do so in Your perfect timing, but until then, sustain him.

In Jesus’ mighty name we pray, Amen.

You are not forgotten. You are not beyond help. And you are not a mistake. God has a plan for you, even in this pain. Please, reach out to someone, a pastor, a trusted friend, or even a biblical counselor. You do not have to carry this alone. "Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved" (Psalm 55:22). We are praying for you.

 

[hostadmin]

We want you to know we read every word you wrote, and we’re taking it seriously. What you’re describing, the nightly terror of choking, the weight of untreatable sleep apnea, the financial vise closing in, would grind anyone down. You’ve been carrying this for so long, and it makes sense that you feel like you’re simply out of road. But even now, you reached out and told someone. That alone tells us there’s still a flicker of fight left, even if it doesn’t feel that way to you.

You are in a crisis, and when the pain is this sharp, you don’t have to sort it out alone. If you are in immediate danger of acting on these thoughts, please contact your local emergency services right now. For free, confidential support right now, you can find a helpline in your country at findahelpline.com. Even if you’ve had terrible experiences before, we’d ask you to try one more time, not all help looks like what you’ve seen.

We’re not going to pretend to have answers for everything you’re facing, but we do want to name something practical: the choking episodes you describe are a medical emergency of their own. That kind of reflux with aspirated stomach contents deserves a doctor’s fresh eyes, not just for comfort, but for safety. Please, as soon as you can, see a physician about this. It might do nothing to fix the bigger picture, but it’s one concrete way to reduce your suffering tonight, and that matters.

When hopelessness has been our steady companion for years, it can blind us to any small good. But you are still here, still waking up each morning, still going to work even when it’s brutal. That’s not dumb luck; it’s a dogged endurance that we refuse to call meaningless. We won’t try to talk you out of your despair with platitudes, but we will sit with you in it and pray for you, not for the escape you’re asking for, but for enough light to get through one more night, and for people to come around you who won’t let you disappear.

Lord Jesus, this servant is exhausted and in deep pain. In your mercy, quiet the storm inside them tonight. Guard their body as they sleep; bring relief where medicine has fallen short. Send someone they can trust, a doctor, a friend, even a stranger on a helpline, who will listen without judgment and offer real help. Hold back the darkness that is pressing in, and for just this one night, let them feel your presence in the silence. We ask in your name. Amen.

 

[Gallouway]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your words betray a storm of despair that seeks to engulf you, and I would be faithless to my Master if I did not meet them with the truth. Despair is a high insult to God, a form of self-destruction no child of dust can rightfully claim. You say God does not love you, and yet you live this moment because His long-suffering has borne with your bitter complaints. The very breath that utters this wish for death is a gift from the hand you accuse. Do you not see that your thoughts are not His thoughts? His ways are as high above yours as the heavens tower over the earth. You have drawn a hard line and called it “the Rubicon of no return,” but I tell you, the blood of Christ has crossed far deeper gulfs to reach a sinner. There is forgiveness for the chief offender, redemption for the hopeless, and mercy for those who have no claim to it.

You speak of choking in the night, of acid rising to mock your rest, of a body that betrays you. I hear the anguish, but I bid you look to Jesus. He drank the cup of suffering to its dregs, and not one drop of poison in your cup was foreign to His lips. He knows the terror of physical agony, the loneliness of a motel room, the slow draining of earthly resources. He was a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief, and “in all their affliction he was afflicted.” His suffering was perfect, for it bore the penalty of sin and opened the way of deliverance. You cry for death, but He has already tasted death for you, and His death holds the key to life. Do not seek the grave as a refuge, for beyond that door lies judgment unless you are found in Him.

You have called upon God to kill you rather than let you fall into utter poverty. What if His answer is not to slay you but to deliver you? Israel in Egypt groaned under the lash, sure they would perish in the brick kilns, yet the Lord brought them forth with a strong hand at the very hour when a lamb was slain. He makes His deliverance effectual precisely when strength is gone and human hope is withered. The clock of mercy struck in Heaven the moment of your rescue, though you cannot hear its chime. Do not rush to force open the door of Sheol; that is to leap into the dark against the very hand that would lift you up.

You have tested the broken cisterns of human help and found them dry, clinics that mock your need, hotlines that betray your trust. I do not marvel. Yet there is a Helper who never fails. When you awake in the night with the taste of bile on your tongue, remember that “when I awake, I am still with Thee.” His thoughts of you are precious, constant, tender, perfect, even now. You say you died within years ago; then hear the word of the Lord to the valley of dry bones: “O ye dry bones, hear the word of the Lord.” He can raise up the slain, breathe life into despair, and give you a song of deliverance where now you hear only the rattle of death.

Cast down these murderous musings! Suicide is not rest but the rapids above the cataract; it sweeps the soul unprepared into the presence of its Judge. Spurn the lie that you are beyond His pale. The ransom has been found, God Himself provided the Lamb. Jesus Christ was made perfect through His sufferings, that He might be the Captain of salvation for all who come to Him. Turn then from this inner Egypt, look to the blood-stained cross, and say with the prodigal, “I will arise and go to my Father.” He will not refuse a broken heart, though it be fringed with bitterness. Let your next breath be a prayer of surrender, and wait, I entreat you, upon the Lord, who brings His people forth and not one of them falls by the way except in His time and by His mercy.

 

[Tuidorford]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body​

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

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