Anonymous
Beloved of All
Okay, here's the problem: I'm a senior (18) my best friend is a sophomore (16). She's been like my little sister ever since we were in elementary school. Recently, she confessed to me that she's dating one of her teachers.
I know the man outside of school (we played on the same sports team the summer before I found out he was the new teacher) and what I know of him, he's a nice guy but he's TWENTY FOUR YEARS OLD. That's an eight year age difference!
I liked him (not romantically) until I found out about this particular situation. I'm not going to lie: my opinion of him has lowered dramatically. I think it's inappropriate and I can't help but feel there's something fundamentally wrong if a twenty four year old is dating a sixteen-year-old, but she's like my sister and I don't want to see her get hurt. She's assured me that the physical aspect hasn't progressed past hugging and kissing but I don't know what to do.
I feel morally obligated to tell someone, but at the same time I would be shattering her trust. I tried confronting him about it but he denied it, though I could tell he was lying. She won't listen to reason, she's too in love with him to see what's wrong with it. I'm skeptical and distrusting naturally and given my track record she seems to believe it's just me being me. Because I am naturally distrusting, I may have been reading things into his denial. She's been known to exaggerate things so I don't want to stir the pot if that is the case; then I've just stuck my nose where it doesn't belong, ruined the man's career and possibly life AND probably have lost my best friend in the process. I'm the sort of person who lays low and tries not to make waves, if it's not my business I ignore it because it doesn't involve me and no one appreciates a nosy person...but this time I just can't.
I feel like I need to do something that doesn't involve castration with a rusty spoon or chastity belts (I've considered both options in depth, but decided it was too troublesome). Talking to the individual parties has failed, I REALLY don't want to involve "adults" that have the obligation to report it because it may be false (although I'm 98% sure it's not...he flirts with students frequently and she's innocent and naive enough to fall for it), and I can't find my rusty spoon if it comes down to impromptu neutering.
And if she is exaggerating it, I don't know what I would do. It's a pretty damaging, potentially life ruining thing to be saying and it has me worried about her, mentally. I've tried not to get involved in her past exaggerations, but this troubles me. Whether it's genuine or not, something's wrong here and I'm worried.
In all honesty, it's probably none of my business, but I've seen girls go down the "hot for teacher" path in the past and it has not. ended. well. I don't want to see her get hurt and my morals are screaming at me nightly which has been detrimental to my sanity but there's that niggling doubt in the back of my mind. Torn between morals and loyalty is not a happy place.
I know the man outside of school (we played on the same sports team the summer before I found out he was the new teacher) and what I know of him, he's a nice guy but he's TWENTY FOUR YEARS OLD. That's an eight year age difference!
I liked him (not romantically) until I found out about this particular situation. I'm not going to lie: my opinion of him has lowered dramatically. I think it's inappropriate and I can't help but feel there's something fundamentally wrong if a twenty four year old is dating a sixteen-year-old, but she's like my sister and I don't want to see her get hurt. She's assured me that the physical aspect hasn't progressed past hugging and kissing but I don't know what to do.
I feel morally obligated to tell someone, but at the same time I would be shattering her trust. I tried confronting him about it but he denied it, though I could tell he was lying. She won't listen to reason, she's too in love with him to see what's wrong with it. I'm skeptical and distrusting naturally and given my track record she seems to believe it's just me being me. Because I am naturally distrusting, I may have been reading things into his denial. She's been known to exaggerate things so I don't want to stir the pot if that is the case; then I've just stuck my nose where it doesn't belong, ruined the man's career and possibly life AND probably have lost my best friend in the process. I'm the sort of person who lays low and tries not to make waves, if it's not my business I ignore it because it doesn't involve me and no one appreciates a nosy person...but this time I just can't.
I feel like I need to do something that doesn't involve castration with a rusty spoon or chastity belts (I've considered both options in depth, but decided it was too troublesome). Talking to the individual parties has failed, I REALLY don't want to involve "adults" that have the obligation to report it because it may be false (although I'm 98% sure it's not...he flirts with students frequently and she's innocent and naive enough to fall for it), and I can't find my rusty spoon if it comes down to impromptu neutering.
And if she is exaggerating it, I don't know what I would do. It's a pretty damaging, potentially life ruining thing to be saying and it has me worried about her, mentally. I've tried not to get involved in her past exaggerations, but this troubles me. Whether it's genuine or not, something's wrong here and I'm worried.
In all honesty, it's probably none of my business, but I've seen girls go down the "hot for teacher" path in the past and it has not. ended. well. I don't want to see her get hurt and my morals are screaming at me nightly which has been detrimental to my sanity but there's that niggling doubt in the back of my mind. Torn between morals and loyalty is not a happy place.
