We hear the deep pain, frustration, and exhaustion in your words, and our hearts ache with you. The hurt you’ve endured—feeling unprotected, betrayed, and broken by those who should have stood by you—is not something to be dismissed or minimized. You are crying out for justice, safety, and a fresh start, and we stand with you in bringing these burdens before the Lord. But we must also speak truth in love, for Scripture warns us that our words and declarations must align with God’s will, not our own desires or the lies of the enemy.
First, we must address the way you are speaking over your life. While it is right to pray boldly and with faith, we cannot "command, decree, or declare" things into existence as if we hold the power of God Himself. That is not the posture of a child of God. Jesus taught us to pray, *"Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven"* (Matthew 6:10 WEB). Our prayers must be submitted to God’s perfect will, not our own demands. The enemy would love for you to believe you can manipulate outcomes through your words, but that is not the way of Christ. We are called to trust, not control. *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight"* (Proverbs 3:5-6 WEB).
You mention feeling abused, unprotected, and violated, and we take that seriously. If you have suffered abuse—emotionally, physically, or spiritually—we urge you to seek godly counsel, safety, and healing. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18 WEB), and He calls His people to stand against injustice. But we must also warn against bitterness, for it will only poison your soul. *"See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God, and that no root of bitterness springs up to cause trouble and defile many"* (Hebrews 12:15 WEB). You say you hate your country now, and while we understand the depth of your pain, hatred is not the way of Christ. He calls us to forgive, even when it feels impossible. *"For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you don’t forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses"* (Matthew 6:14-15 WEB).
You speak of your children and the pain they have endured, and our hearts break for them. You are right to desire protection and healing for them, but we must caution against the language of "shields" and "energy" that sounds more like New Age spirituality than biblical truth. Our protection comes from the Lord alone. *"He will cover you with his feathers. Under his wings you will take refuge. His faithfulness is your shield and rampart"* (Psalm 91:4 WEB). We do not create our own shields; we trust in the One who is our refuge. You mention that your "list is closed" to American men, and while we understand your desire to protect yourself, we must remind you that God’s plans for you may not align with your own. If He has a godly husband for you—a man who fears Him, loves your children, and cherishes you—then no "list" or decree of yours can thwart His will. *"Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is Yahweh’s purpose that prevails"* (Proverbs 19:21 WEB).
You also speak of moving to Canada for a fresh start, and while we understand the desire to escape pain, we must ask: Are you running *to* something or *from* something? The Lord may indeed be calling you to a new season, but we must seek His will above all else. *"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it’"* (Isaiah 30:21 WEB). If you are not rooted in Christ, no change of location will bring true peace. The enemy will follow you wherever you go if you are not standing firm in the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18 WEB).
Now, we must address the most critical issue: Where is Jesus in all of this? You mention the "blood of Jesus" at the end, but your words are filled with declarations of self, not surrender to Him. Salvation is found in no one else but Christ. *"There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"* (Acts 4:12 WEB). Have you placed your trust in Him alone? Have you repented of any sin—including bitterness, unforgiveness, or the desire for revenge—and surrendered your life to Him? If not, we urge you to do so now. *"If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved"* (Romans 10:9 WEB). Without Christ, there is no true healing, no lasting protection, and no hope beyond this life.
We also must rebuke the language of "lunch" and the idea that people are out to consume or harm you. While we do not dismiss the reality of spiritual warfare, we must not give the enemy more power than he has. *"You are of God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is he who is in you than he who is in the world"* (1 John 4:4 WEB). The enemy seeks to devour (1 Peter 5:8 WEB), but Christ has already overcome him. You are not prey; you are a child of the Most High God. Walk in that truth.
Finally, we must address the sexual and relational implications of your words. You mention "guys that might not have raped & brainwashed," and we grieve with you if you have suffered such trauma. If this is your experience, we urge you to seek professional Christian counseling and support from your local church. The Lord can heal even the deepest wounds, but you must bring them into the light. You also speak of a desire for a husband, and while that is a godly desire, we must caution against seeking a relationship out of desperation or fear. Marriage is a sacred covenant, and it must be entered into with wisdom, discernment, and a commitment to God’s design. *"He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of Yahweh"* (Proverbs 18:22 WEB). But if you are not healed and whole in Christ, no relationship will satisfy you. Seek Him first, and trust Him to bring the right man into your life in His perfect timing.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this precious sister who is hurting, weary, and desperate for change. Lord, You see the pain she has endured—the betrayal, the abuse, the feeling of being unprotected and unloved. You know the depths of her heart, and You long to heal her. We ask, Father, that You would break the chains of bitterness and unforgiveness in her life. Soften her heart to forgive those who have wronged her, not because they deserve it, but because You have forgiven her. Help her to release the weight of hatred toward her country, her circumstances, and those who have failed her. Fill her with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7 WEB).
Lord, we ask that You would reveal Yourself to her in a powerful way. If she does not know You as her Savior, draw her to Yourself now. Let her see that true healing, true protection, and true love are found only in You. Help her to surrender her declarations, her plans, and her desires to Your perfect will. Teach her to pray, *"Not my will, but Yours be done"* (Luke 22:42 WEB).
Father, we pray for her children. Comfort them in their pain and heal the wounds they have endured. Surround them with Your angels and give them godly influences who will speak life and truth into them. Protect their hearts and minds from the lies of the enemy, and let them know that they are deeply loved by You.
Lord, if it is Your will for her to move to Canada, open the doors and make the path clear. But if You have another plan, give her the strength to walk in obedience, even when it’s hard. Provide for her every need—emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Bring godly friendships and mentors into her life who will encourage her in the faith and hold her accountable.
If You have a husband for her, prepare his heart as You prepare hers. Let him be a man after Your own heart, one who will love her as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25 WEB). Guard her heart from desperation and fear, and help her to wait on Your timing. But above all, Lord, let her find her identity, her worth, and her purpose in You alone.
We rebuke the spirit of fear, bitterness, and despair in her life. We declare that she is not prey; she is a daughter of the King, and no weapon formed against her will prosper (Isaiah 54:17 WEB). We pray that she would walk in the fullness of Your love, knowing that nothing can separate her from it (Romans 8:38-39 WEB).
Father, we ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the name above every other name, the name by which we are saved and set free. May she come to know You more deeply, trust You more fully, and love You more completely with each passing day. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
Fold Greatly it’s not FAIR I come today as number 48 today idk the guys just don’t want me put me is always the same crap everyday the assignment ends today, . I speak command create I guess I need new FAVOR attractive new Voice I Urgently change my name Like I Said when get to Canada im beyond abused in my own COUNTRY. This assignment ends tonight period permanently. Then GREATLY let me have new FAVOR in Canada to be no one’s business let evil doers mind there own business period permanently. if there is someone in the STATES thats a good thing for give him his shield 
that’s says im lunch Love ### let him be able to make it or go to Canada with me or something. I can’t be here anymore it’s to heart breaking 
for me myself my kids will never be the same period permanently. I hate my own COUNTRY now they didn’t let me protect the Kids by not letting me have Ptrivacy my own power and my Shields back I couldn’t protect myself and my kids the & the guys that might not have raped & brainwashed. Now moving forward I create new shields 
