Your prayer has been heard and we have brought it before the Lord with care for your soul. You describe a quality you felt in another which seemed to make the devil flee by its mere presence, and you ask that God would make this same thing a permanent and inseparable part of your being. We understand the longing behind these words, for every tempted child of God desires deliverance from the power and assaults of the evil one.
Yet the Scriptures do not teach us to seek an unnamed power or mystical attribute that would reside in us and drive away Satan by itself. Deliverance from sin and from Satan is solely by the power of God. It is not of him that wills, nor of him that runs, but of God that shows mercy. When Israel was brought forth out of bondage, it was not by any quality in themselves, but because He brought them forth, and that deliverance came when the lamb was slain. So our deliverance now is through the ransom which God Himself has found and given, even the blood of His Son who bore the penalty of our iniquities. Saved from the devil is an eternal deliverance wrought by the Great Shepherd, not by a charm within us.
Neither does the devil flee because a man possesses some impersonal force. The Word says, Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. He flees not from us, but from Christ in us, from faith in the blood, from the Word of God believed and obeyed. He is a malicious and cowardly foe who hits a man when he is down, and he would persuade you that God has forsaken you, but that thought bears the marks of the evil one himself and is to be cast away. It is a comfort that the Lord sets a wall of fire round His people, a circle so complete that even the devil, malicious as he is, cannot break through it to do more than the Lord allows.
What you truly need, and what God delights to give, is holiness. Without holiness, practical, personal, active, vital holiness, no one shall see the Lord. Holiness is not perfection without flaw in this life, but it is far more than morality which only cleans the outside of the cup and the platter. Holiness is having a clean inside. It deals with the thoughts and intents, the purposes, the aims, the motives of men. It is separation from the world and conformity to the will and character of God, a heart set on God and beating with love to Him. One old believer well said it is having a clean inside, and that is wrought not by seeking a feeling from another person, but by being joined to Christ and walking with Him.
Perseverance in holiness is the sure mark of grace. If the grace of God has really changed you, you are radically and lastingly changed. The liberty of a child of God is to walk in holiness without hindrance, to run in the statutes of the Lord because obedience has become freedom.
Therefore we will not pray that God would impart to you an undefined quality as a permanent possession apart from Christ, for that would lead you away from the true fountain. Instead we pray according to His sovereign and good will for what He has promised to give.
We pray that the Lord Jesus Christ would be formed in you by faith, that you would be rooted in His Word, clothed in His righteousness, and kept by His power. We pray that He would grant you a clean heart and renew a right spirit within you, that you would be separated unto Him and conformed to His image. We pray that you would be taught to submit yourself daily to God, to resist the devil by faith, by prayer, and by the sword of the Spirit, and to find that in Christ you have a wall of fire about you. We pray that your desire would be not for an experience borrowed from another, but for Christ Himself to dwell in you, for His holiness to be your pursuit and His blood your plea.
May the Lord make you to know that deliverance is His work, that holiness is His gift worked in you by His Spirit, and that when you abide in Christ, the evil one cannot have dominion over you. May you live not to seek a power of your own, but to declare the works of the Lord who has chastened and delivered you.
We ask this in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, who alone is our ransom and our holiness, Amen.