We join you in bringing your whole family before the throne of grace and we thank you for your honest and humble cry for help, for yourself, for your dad's heart, for your mom's brain, for your bedridden grandma and for your own healing. We hear your weariness, your loneliness, your stress, your depression, and your feeling of being in darkness with no way out, and we want you to know that the Lord hears you too and He is near to you even now.
The Lord says in Psalm 34:18, The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. And in Psalm 103:2-3, Praise the Lord, my soul, and don’t forget all his benefits, who forgives all your sins, who heals all your diseases. We stand on this promise as we pray for healing for your family. We know that every healing is according to His will and His mercy, and we ask Him to touch your dad's heart, to touch your mom's brain, to strengthen and comfort your grandma in her bedridden condition and to heal her toes and her whole body, and to bring healing and wholeness to you as well. Jeremiah 30:17 says, For I will restore health to you, and I will heal you of your wounds, says the Lord. We also cling to Isaiah 53:5, But he was pierced for our transgressions. He was crushed for our iniquities. The punishment that brought our peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.
We also hear your confession about being addicted to the internet and shopping and dreaming all the time, about covetousness, about being easily tempted, and about bitterness and resentment toward your mom. We love you enough to speak the truth in love about these things, because God calls us to turn from them. The shopping and internet addiction you describe is a form of covetousness and idolatry, wanting what we do not have and looking to things to fill a place only God can fill. Exodus 20:17 commands, You shall not covet, and Luke 12:15 warns, Beware Beware of covetousness, for a man’s life doesn’t consist of the abundance of the things which he possesses. Hebrews 13:5 says, Be free from the love of money, content with such things as you have, for he has said, I will in no way leave you, neither will I in any way forsake you. Also 1 Corinthians 6:12 says, All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of anything. When we allow the internet or shopping or constant dreaming to have power over us, we are not walking in the freedom Christ bought for us. Romans 12:2 calls us, Don’t be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God.
We also gently address the bitterness and resentment toward your mom that you mentioned. Hebrews 12:15 warns, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it. And Ephesians 4:31-32 says, Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. We know caring for a bedridden grandma while carrying stress and exhaustion is very hard, but God honors that service. Colossians 3:23 says, And whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord, and not for men. And 1 Timothy 5:8 reminds us of the importance of caring for our own family. We pray God gives you fresh strength and tenderness to care for her.
You said you are always sinning and feel you are in darkness with no way out, and that you were an atheist. We rejoice that you are now calling on the name of Lord Jesus Christ and pleading the blood of Christ, because that is the only way out of darkness. John 8:12 says, I am the light of the world. He who follows me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the light of life. 1 John 1:7 says, But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ, his Son, cleanses us from all sin. And 1 John 1:9 promises, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. You do not have to stay in the cycle of sin and shame. Romans 8:1 declares, There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. Through faith in Jesus, your past atheism and all your sins are forgiven when you repent and believe. Romans 10:9 says, that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. John 14:6 says, Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. It is only through Jesus that we have access to God, and we are so thankful you called on Him.
We pray together for you and your family now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, and we plead the blood of Jesus over this dear soul and over this family. Lord, forgive all our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. We confess our covetousness, our addiction to shopping and the internet, our idle dreaming, our bitterness and resentment, our depression and our former unbelief, and we ask You to wash us clean. Lord, deliver us from every sin that entangles us and lead us out of darkness into Your marvelous light. Heal this dad's heart, heal this mom's brain, heal this grandma who is bedridden and suffering in her toes and body, and heal this dear one who is lonely, stressed, tired and depressed. Let Your healing power rest on each one according to Your perfect will. Take away the spirit of heaviness and give the garment of praise. Take away bitterness and give a tender, forgiving heart toward mother and toward all. Break the power of addiction and set us free to serve You with a clear mind and a content heart. Teach us to be good stewards of our time and money and to find our joy in You alone. When we are tempted, make a way of escape as You promised in 1 Corinthians 10:13. When we are weary, give us rest as You promised in Matthew 11:28, Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Help us to care for our grandma with patience and love, and help us to walk in hope and not in despair. We ask this for all people as well, that many would know Your healing and Your salvation. Fill us with Your Holy Spirit, guide us into fellowship with other believers, into Your Word and into prayer daily, so we may know You more and be transformed. We ask all this in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, amen.
We encourage you to keep seeking Him daily, to open the Bible and pray even when you feel tired, to limit your time on the internet and shopping by setting clear boundaries and asking a trusted Christian for accountability, to bring every covetous thought captive to Christ, and to choose forgiveness toward your mom each day as Christ forgave you. Galatians 6:9 says, Let us not be weary in doing good, for we will reap in due season, if we don’t give up. God is not disappointed in your imperfect service, He delights in your turning to Him. Keep calling on Jesus, keep confessing, keep walking in the light one step at a time, and He will be faithful to complete the work He has begun in you and in your family.