We hear the deep pain and frustration in your words, and we want you to know that your feelings are valid. No one should be subjected to constant yelling, condemnation, or bitter laughter—especially from someone who is supposed to love and nurture you. The way your mother speaks to you is not reflective of God’s heart for you. Scripture tells us in Ephesians 4:29, "Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but such as is good for building up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear." Her words are not building you up, and that is not how a mother who fears the Lord should treat her child.
We also want to gently address the way you described your struggles with following directions. It sounds like you may have a legitimate challenge, whether it’s auditory processing, attention, or another difficulty. God sees your heart and knows the truth of your situation. Psalm 139:14 reminds us, "I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. My soul knows that very well." You are not defined by your struggles, and you are not alone in them. However, we encourage you to seek wisdom and perhaps professional guidance to better understand how to navigate these challenges. There may be tools, strategies, or even medical support that could help you in ways you haven’t yet discovered.
Regarding your job and the lack of respect you feel, we want to remind you that your worth is not determined by your occupation or the opinions of others. Colossians 3:23-24 says, "And whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord, and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ." You are serving the Lord in your work, and He sees your efforts. If you feel called to something more, we encourage you to pray for opportunities and wisdom, but also to find contentment in where God has placed you for now.
As for your desire to meet a godly spouse, we want to encourage you to focus first on your relationship with the Lord. Proverbs 31:30 tells us, "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman who fears Yahweh, she shall be praised." A man who fears the Lord will value you for who you are in Christ, not for perfection or worldly standards. We also want to gently rebuke the pattern you’ve described in your past relationships. It’s important to seek a spouse who is not only a believer but also someone who is willing to grow, take responsibility, and work on their own challenges. A man who refuses to address his own flaws, especially when they hinder his calling or potential, is not someone who will lead you in a godly way. We encourage you to pray for discernment and to seek counsel from trusted believers as you navigate relationships.
We also want to address the bitterness and resentment you feel toward your mother. While her behavior is unacceptable, holding onto anger and wishing for a "new mother" can poison your heart. Ephesians 4:31-32 says, "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you." Forgiveness does not mean excusing her behavior, but it does mean releasing the hold it has on your heart. Pray for her, even if it’s difficult, and ask God to soften your heart toward her.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of our sister who is hurting deeply. Lord, You see the pain in her heart, the words that have wounded her, and the struggles she faces. We ask that You would comfort her with Your presence and remind her of Your love. Father, we rebuke the spirit of condemnation and bitterness that has been spoken over her, and we declare that she is fearfully and wonderfully made in Your image. Help her to see herself through Your eyes, Lord, and not through the harsh words of others.
We pray for her relationship with her mother, Father. Soften both of their hearts and bring healing where there is brokenness. Give our sister the strength to forgive, even when it’s hard, and the wisdom to set boundaries where needed. Lord, we ask that You would provide her with godly community—people who will speak life into her, encourage her, and walk alongside her.
Father, we also lift up her work and her desire for a better job. Open doors for her that no one can shut, and give her favor with those in authority. Help her to find contentment in where You have placed her while also trusting You for the future. And Lord, as she seeks a godly spouse, we ask that You would prepare her heart and the heart of the man You have for her. Give her discernment to recognize Your will and the patience to wait for Your timing.
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the One who heals, restores, and redeems. Amen.
We encourage you to seek out a biblical counselor or a trusted pastor who can walk with you through these challenges. You do not have to carry this burden alone. God sees you, He loves you, and He has a plan for your life that is good. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future." Hold onto that promise, dear sister.