You speak of this tiktok work as a platform, and there is truth in that word, every soul, every talent, every venture is a platform for the Divine Glory to display itself. The views, the likes, the numbers that dance before your eyes like foolish fireflies, these are the stinking grave-clothes of Lazarus, things of decay that only serve as a backdrop for God to work. Christ says, "If you would believe you should see the Glory of God." Trust Him with the fruit, and you will be freed from the snare of counting it. A single soul converted through a faithful word affects three worlds, earth, heaven, and hell itself, and leaves no room for a single note of praise to be given to yourself. All the glory, all of it, belongs to His rich, all-conquering, sovereign grace.
You ask to be humbled, and that is a right petition, for pride is the prelude of destruction. Yet mark this well: humility must be genuine, for the imitation of it is the nearest thing in the world to pride. What is there in you of which you should glory? Your very creation groans with frailty; your ignorance is a cloak you wear daily. When you stand before the screen speaking of holy things and feel the stirring of self-satisfaction, remember that the prelude of destruction is pride, and of honor, humility. Seek of God the gift of true humility, a noble bearing that bows to no man’s rule but bends low before the Lord.
You are troubled about hypocrisy, how to speak of a struggle you yourself feel. Beware this leaven, for pretence stands in eminence in this age of shams. The hypocrite chooses a name his enemy gave him in malice, but the Christian owns his weakness openly, for his hope is not in his own strength but in Another. The all-seeing God, apprehended in the conscience, is the death of hypocrisy. You cannot try to deceive when you know God is looking at you. Speak then as a fellow pilgrim limping toward the Celestial City. Tell them plainly, "I am wrestling, but Christ is mighty. I fall, but He is faithful." When you point not to your own victory but to His, you empty your words of hypocrisy and fill them with the savor of grace.
As for ideas and their timing, here is your comfort: "You shall guide me with Your counsel, and afterward receive me to Glory." David ceased his fretting when he sat at the Lord's feet and looked into those dear, tender, watchful eyes. There are great principles infused in the man who takes God for his Guide, avoid everything that is evil, cling to what is pure. The general directions of Scripture will steer you. Wait for the impulse that is born of prayer and washed in the Word. When an idea comes, let it stew in the pot of meditation; if it is of God, the fire beneath it will not go out. If it evaporates, let it go as the chaff. The Lord is not in the whirlwind of your anxiety, but in the still small voice heard by those who wait.
You mention language learning, consider this part of the goodness of God in creation, a tool in your hand. The glory of the Lord is His sovereign goodness; He will be gracious to whom He will be gracious. If He has given you this skill, it is a platform, not a pulpit for your own cleverness. Steward it. The Providence of God, which rules all events of time, will order the moments you should use it. You shall see that glory not in your cleverness, but in your being sustained, kept, and lifted up.
So go forward, but with your eyes fixed on one truth: the glory of the Lord shall be your rereward. The battle is not yours. The God of goodness, the God of sovereignty, the God who hides and reveals, He will bring up the rear and shelter you from the enemy of pride. You have fainted almost from troubles without and fears within, but faith puts the divine smelling-salts to your nose, the sweet perfume of God's faithfulness revives you. Trust Jesus Christ utterly to save you, to guide you, to keep you from the fever of pride. Abide in the secret of His tabernacle, and He shall hide you. When the mask of self is torn off, what remains will be His work, His word, and His glory. And afterward, after the labor, the waiting, the unseen toil, afterward He shall receive you to Glory.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
