With the high possibility of what my purpose has been for the last 3 years to come crumbling down around me, I have a LOT to think about.
I'm not fearful of change. I know that the Lord has my best interest in mind.
I think what I am most fearful of is the emotion that comes with it. It's going to be sad. Depressing. Confusing. I hate facing my emotions.
And I'll be honest, I am extremely overwhelmed to take on the responsibility of moving. Ugh. Storage will be needed. Deposits. Rental application fees......
Oh and then that whole waiting process. Waiting for the D.A., waiting for court dates, waiting for a judgement. I hate uncertainty.
"Pray about it" they all say. Ok, I've been praying, I've been worshiping. All I have left to do is wait. And pray more. But I feel so childish about it. Like I don't want to pray because I'm frustrated. Like when a child is mad at their parents and gives them the silent treatment. Shame on me, I know.
I want His will to be done. I do. I'm just having a very hard time accepting what that might entail.
I'm not fearful of change. I know that the Lord has my best interest in mind.
I think what I am most fearful of is the emotion that comes with it. It's going to be sad. Depressing. Confusing. I hate facing my emotions.
And I'll be honest, I am extremely overwhelmed to take on the responsibility of moving. Ugh. Storage will be needed. Deposits. Rental application fees......
Oh and then that whole waiting process. Waiting for the D.A., waiting for court dates, waiting for a judgement. I hate uncertainty.
"Pray about it" they all say. Ok, I've been praying, I've been worshiping. All I have left to do is wait. And pray more. But I feel so childish about it. Like I don't want to pray because I'm frustrated. Like when a child is mad at their parents and gives them the silent treatment. Shame on me, I know.
I want His will to be done. I do. I'm just having a very hard time accepting what that might entail.
God bless you
