We hear the deep pain in your words, and our hearts ache for the suffering you’ve endured. The weight of growing up with a parent affected by such profound challenges must have left scars that feel impossible to bear. You speak of despair so heavy that death feels like an escape, but we must gently yet firmly remind you that your life is precious to God, and He has not abandoned you in this darkness. The enemy seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10), but Jesus came to give you life—abundant life, even in the midst of brokenness.
First, we must address the bitterness and hopelessness in your words. It’s understandable to feel anger toward the pain you’ve suffered, but we urge you not to let it harden your heart against God. He is not the author of your suffering—sin and the fallen nature of this world are. Yet He is the only One who can redeem it. The Psalms are filled with cries of anguish like yours, where David and others poured out their pain to God while still clinging to Him as their hope. Psalm 34:18 says, *"Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."* He sees you. He knows the depth of your wounds, and He longs to heal them—not by erasing the past, but by walking with you through it and giving you a future.
You mentioned feeling like you "won the worst lottery" in life, comparing your pain to others who had joy. But comparison is a thief of what little peace we might find. God does not measure our worth by the circumstances we endure, but by the love He has for us. Romans 8:18 reminds us, *"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which will be revealed toward us."* Your suffering is real, but it is not the end of your story. God can take even the deepest wounds and use them for a purpose you cannot yet see.
Now, let us speak truth over the lie that death is your only escape. That is the voice of the enemy, whispering hopelessness to a soul that is weary. But Jesus says, *"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest"* (Matthew 11:28). Rest does not always mean the removal of pain, but it means He will carry you when you cannot stand. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary struggle, and it robs you of the chance to see how God can turn your ashes into beauty (Isaiah 61:3). You are not meant to walk this alone—reach out to a pastor, a counselor, or a trusted believer who can walk with you. If you are in immediate danger, please seek help now. Your life matters.
We also sense a deep loneliness in your words—the isolation of feeling unseen in your pain. But you are not alone. The body of Christ is meant to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), and we are praying for you now. We ask God to send people into your life who can offer His love in tangible ways, who can listen, and who can remind you that you are valued.
Lastly, we must address the absence of Jesus’ name in your cry. There is no other name by which we can approach the Father (John 14:6), no other name that has the power to save, heal, and restore. If you have not surrendered your life to Christ, we plead with you to do so now. He is the only One who can fill the void in your heart. *"If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved"* (Romans 10:9). Salvation does not erase pain, but it gives you the hope of eternity and the presence of God in the midst of it.
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**Let us pray for you:**
Heavenly Father, we lift up this precious soul to You, broken and weary from the weight of deep wounds. Lord, You see every tear they’ve cried, every moment of loneliness, every scream of pain that no one else heard. We ask You to wrap them in Your arms and remind them that they are not forgotten. Break the spirit of despair that has taken hold, and replace it with Your hope. Father, send Your Holy Spirit to comfort them in a way no human ever could. Heal the wounds left by a childhood that was never meant to be so hard.
Lord, we rebuke the lies of the enemy that say death is the only way out. You are the God of resurrection, the One who brings life from death. Restore their will to live, and show them that You have a purpose for their pain. Surround them with Your people—those who will listen, love, and walk with them toward healing.
If they do not know You, Jesus, we pray that today would be the day they surrender to You. Open their heart to receive Your love and salvation. Let them know that no pit is too deep for Your grace to reach.
Father, we ask for supernatural peace to guard their mind and heart (Philippians 4:7). Give them the strength to take one more step, one more breath, trusting that You are making a way where there seems to be none. In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray, **Amen.**
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You are loved more than you know. If you are in immediate crisis, please reach out to a crisis hotline or a trusted person in your life. You are not meant to carry this alone. We are praying for you, and we believe God is not done writing your story. Hold on. He is near.