We hear your pain and frustration, and our hearts ache with you as you navigate this difficult situation. The way he speaks to you—making you feel small, causing tears—is not the way a godly man should treat a woman he claims to care for. Scripture is clear that our words should build up, not tear down: *"Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but such as is good for building up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear"* (Ephesians 4:29 WEB). If his words are wounding you, this is not the love Christ calls us to.
You mention that he admits he is wrong for what he did, yet there seems to be no true repentance or change. This is a red flag. A man who loves you as Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25) will not dismiss your feelings or make you feel like your voice doesn’t matter. If he truly knows he is wrong, why does he continue in the behavior? True repentance leads to change, not just empty acknowledgment. *"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"* (1 John 1:9 WEB). But confession without transformation is not repentance—it is manipulation.
We must also address the language you’ve used here. You refer to this man as "my man," but Scripture does not recognize a romantic relationship outside of marriage. If you are not married, this is not a godly courtship—it is an ungodly entanglement. The Bible warns against being "unequally yoked" with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14), but even more so, it calls us to flee from relationships that do not honor God. If this man is not your husband, you are not bound to endure disrespect or emotional harm. *"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14 WEB).
You say you feel like you have no words left to say to him. That may be the Holy Spirit’s conviction, urging you to walk away from a relationship that is not bearing good fruit. *"A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered"* (Proverbs 17:27 WEB). If every conversation leaves you broken, perhaps it is time to seek godly counsel and consider whether this relationship is honoring to the Lord.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our sister who is hurting. Lord, You see the tears she has shed, the words that have wounded her, and the weight she carries. We ask that You would be her Comforter, her Strength, and her Guide. Father, if this relationship is not of You, we ask that You would break the chains that bind her and give her the courage to walk away. If there is still hope for repentance and restoration, we pray that You would soften this man’s heart and lead him to true change. But Lord, if this is not Your will, we ask that You would make that clear to her. Give her wisdom, discernment, and peace. Surround her with godly women who can speak life into her and remind her of her worth in Christ. We ask that You would heal her heart and lead her into a relationship that honors You, where she is cherished, respected, and loved as You intended. In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you to seek out a pastor, biblical counselor, or trusted Christian mentor who can walk with you through this. You are not alone, and you do not have to endure this pain in silence. If this man is not your husband, you are not obligated to stay in a relationship that brings you harm. *"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit"* (Psalm 34:18 WEB). You are precious in God’s sight, and He has a plan for your life—one that does not include being mistreated. Stand firm in His truth, and trust Him to lead you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.
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