Bobcat13
Disciple of Prayer
My life story
Hello my name is ### and this is the story of my life so far. I have been through many difficult struggles growing up with asperger's syndrome while battling bipolar depression and obsessive compulsive disorder.
This letter will discuss the many ups and downs of my life through the last 32 years. I will show you my highlights and downfalls.
I was born in 1983 in ###, ###. My mother told me that I was a noisy baby who cried often. Five years later I am in kindergarten, it was a lonely experience as the other children did not play with me. I always remember sitting alone in the gym and the lunchroom. I felt afraid of the other children. In first grade my parents took me from private school to public school in ###, ###. It was the same the other children did not want to be around me, but something new was added bullying. Every day the other children would taunt me and make fun of my work. I felt so bad in school every day I wanted to leave. Recess was the worst part of the day as I would find myself alone on the playground.
The bullying never got any better with age, it just added more bullies and more cruel taunts that haunt me to this day. I was always called a freak a loser ugly and stupid. To make matters worse when I told my parents they would tell me to just deal with it. My parents never once stood up for me the entire thirteen years of school. I used to beg my mother to talk to the teachers. My mother was more worried about not stirring up the teachers. I felt hurt and betrayed by her.
To make matters even worse my mother could be abusive at times. She had a way of breaking into rages if one would not agree with her. I would often hear her screaming and throwing things at my father. She would hit him. These fights made me afraid to go to sleep. It was so frightening to hear them yelling and yelling. On occasion my mother would turn violent on me. One day my mother locked me in the closet and screamed at me for about four hours, it was all over a missing ### dollars. I was locked in that closet so afraid. I believed I was going to suffocate. It was a terrible thing for a five year old to endure.
The second worst thing that happened was when I upset a neighbor. The neighbor chewed my mom out about I have no clue and left. My mom shut the door grabbed me by the hair and dragged me up the stairs into the bathroom. My mom then proceeded to pin me to the ground and smash my head against the floor. I still remember that green and white tile and the overwhelming sense of fear.
These two were the worst incidents that she had. There were other incidents to that mostly consisted of her degrading me verbally. She would often tell me she wished I had not been born. She told me that one over and over again. One thing that always bothered me was the lack of affection that she showed, she would never hold or hug me. It used to make me so sad I would see other kids with their mothers and they just adored their kids. I grew up feeling worthless.
So the bullying went on until the end of high school. The worst incident was when a classmate cut my hand open with glass and dumped pop on me. Of course my mother said nothing. I fought back when this occurred and I got punished, a single autistic person is an easy target, especially when they have a mother who doesn't intervene.
Finally a wonderful thing happened called college, I applied for financial aid and was also accepted to the University of ### in ###, ###. From there I started to make friends and do very well in classes, I miss those days. My mom tried to keep me from going she said that autistic people couldn't do that. I went anyway. In 2012 I won the Chinese Government Scholarship and studied in China. Sadly my mom never said she was proud of that. I really enjoyed China a lot, it's a nice place. Sadly while I was in China I was the only American among people from other countries. They ganged up and bullied me, and at one point invited me to hang out and molested me. I waited so long to go home to my mom. I was such a fool, again my mother had no sympathy for what I went through. My doctor diagnosed me with PTSD. My mom never acknowledged that either. I felt so alone and isolated. I never received the love from her that I desired, for some reason I thought if I went through something horrible it would make her love me, but it did not.
I am currently four classes from graduating. I would really love it if I could find a scholarship to help me make my dreams of becoming a historian come true. I plan to go to master's school after I graduate and I qualify for it, but right now I am all out of financial aid. My grandmother had put aside money for me to finish school but after my grandmother got sick my mom took power of attorney and took all my college money. She told me I can never graduate now. Please help me to make my dream of becoming a historian a reality and triumph over all the adversity I have had to face. Thank you so and God Bless. Please remember that one person can make the whole difference to me in whether I graduate and become a success or not. I am currently looking into different scholarships and have found very few that fit me, I have a ### GPA. I have done many hours of research on scholarships and come up empty handed. So I am asking of you to look in your heart to try to help me succeed. I currently have no family and am alone in the world, please help.
Some day I hope to be able to have enough money to help disadvantaged students attend school, but until then I must seek help.
With Love
Hello my name is ### and this is the story of my life so far. I have been through many difficult struggles growing up with asperger's syndrome while battling bipolar depression and obsessive compulsive disorder.
This letter will discuss the many ups and downs of my life through the last 32 years. I will show you my highlights and downfalls.
I was born in 1983 in ###, ###. My mother told me that I was a noisy baby who cried often. Five years later I am in kindergarten, it was a lonely experience as the other children did not play with me. I always remember sitting alone in the gym and the lunchroom. I felt afraid of the other children. In first grade my parents took me from private school to public school in ###, ###. It was the same the other children did not want to be around me, but something new was added bullying. Every day the other children would taunt me and make fun of my work. I felt so bad in school every day I wanted to leave. Recess was the worst part of the day as I would find myself alone on the playground.
The bullying never got any better with age, it just added more bullies and more cruel taunts that haunt me to this day. I was always called a freak a loser ugly and stupid. To make matters worse when I told my parents they would tell me to just deal with it. My parents never once stood up for me the entire thirteen years of school. I used to beg my mother to talk to the teachers. My mother was more worried about not stirring up the teachers. I felt hurt and betrayed by her.
To make matters even worse my mother could be abusive at times. She had a way of breaking into rages if one would not agree with her. I would often hear her screaming and throwing things at my father. She would hit him. These fights made me afraid to go to sleep. It was so frightening to hear them yelling and yelling. On occasion my mother would turn violent on me. One day my mother locked me in the closet and screamed at me for about four hours, it was all over a missing ### dollars. I was locked in that closet so afraid. I believed I was going to suffocate. It was a terrible thing for a five year old to endure.
The second worst thing that happened was when I upset a neighbor. The neighbor chewed my mom out about I have no clue and left. My mom shut the door grabbed me by the hair and dragged me up the stairs into the bathroom. My mom then proceeded to pin me to the ground and smash my head against the floor. I still remember that green and white tile and the overwhelming sense of fear.
These two were the worst incidents that she had. There were other incidents to that mostly consisted of her degrading me verbally. She would often tell me she wished I had not been born. She told me that one over and over again. One thing that always bothered me was the lack of affection that she showed, she would never hold or hug me. It used to make me so sad I would see other kids with their mothers and they just adored their kids. I grew up feeling worthless.
So the bullying went on until the end of high school. The worst incident was when a classmate cut my hand open with glass and dumped pop on me. Of course my mother said nothing. I fought back when this occurred and I got punished, a single autistic person is an easy target, especially when they have a mother who doesn't intervene.
Finally a wonderful thing happened called college, I applied for financial aid and was also accepted to the University of ### in ###, ###. From there I started to make friends and do very well in classes, I miss those days. My mom tried to keep me from going she said that autistic people couldn't do that. I went anyway. In 2012 I won the Chinese Government Scholarship and studied in China. Sadly my mom never said she was proud of that. I really enjoyed China a lot, it's a nice place. Sadly while I was in China I was the only American among people from other countries. They ganged up and bullied me, and at one point invited me to hang out and molested me. I waited so long to go home to my mom. I was such a fool, again my mother had no sympathy for what I went through. My doctor diagnosed me with PTSD. My mom never acknowledged that either. I felt so alone and isolated. I never received the love from her that I desired, for some reason I thought if I went through something horrible it would make her love me, but it did not.
I am currently four classes from graduating. I would really love it if I could find a scholarship to help me make my dreams of becoming a historian come true. I plan to go to master's school after I graduate and I qualify for it, but right now I am all out of financial aid. My grandmother had put aside money for me to finish school but after my grandmother got sick my mom took power of attorney and took all my college money. She told me I can never graduate now. Please help me to make my dream of becoming a historian a reality and triumph over all the adversity I have had to face. Thank you so and God Bless. Please remember that one person can make the whole difference to me in whether I graduate and become a success or not. I am currently looking into different scholarships and have found very few that fit me, I have a ### GPA. I have done many hours of research on scholarships and come up empty handed. So I am asking of you to look in your heart to try to help me succeed. I currently have no family and am alone in the world, please help.
Some day I hope to be able to have enough money to help disadvantaged students attend school, but until then I must seek help.
With Love
