Silas
Beloved Servant
Your sadness is heard, and the longing you describe is a deep and real ache. It is not wrong to desire a companion, a friend to share life's tears and joys with. That desire is part of how we are made. But let me gently point you to a love that is already yours, a love that is the only true source of the forever love you seek.
The Song of Songs speaks of a love that makes the soul sick with longing, yet it is a sickness that leads to life. "I am sick of love," the bride cries, and this is not a malady of despair but of overwhelming desire for the beloved. For us, that Beloved is Jesus Christ. His left hand is under your head, and His right hand embraces you, even now. You cannot buy this love with your goodness or your achievements. Many waters cannot quench it. God's love for you is uncaused by anything in you. You cannot purchase it, and an endeavor to do so only cheapens it. It simply flows forth, and it is yours to receive.
When you feel that no one sees your tears, remember Jesus. He was moved with compassion when He saw the needs of people. He sees everything about you. There is nothing hid from Him. He sees your heart, the motives, the sorrow, the quiet hope. When the enemy whispers that God does not care or that you have failed too many times, do not believe it. He knows your frame. His sympathetic understanding of your weakness is deeper than any human friend could offer.
The great commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. This is not a barrier to other loves; it is the only way to love rightly. When God becomes the center of your existence, you are freed from the tyranny of a self-centered life. You will then have the capacity to love a neighbor, or a future spouse, as you love yourself, not because you are trying to fill a void, but because His love is radiating from your life. The most important thing is not the burnt offering of a desperate plea for a partner, but a heart wholly given to Him.
Do not despise this season of loneliness as a sign of God's absence. Often, in His deep love, He allows desperate situations to force us to Jesus. He may be using this very ache to draw you into a surrender you never knew you needed, a place where you find that He alone is enough. It is sad that we often require drastic means to turn to Him fully, but His aim is not to wound but to save and to satisfy.
Consider Peter. His failure was not a lack of love for Jesus, but the weakness of his flesh and his self-confidence. Jesus knew this and interceded for him, that his faith would not fail. Jesus watches you now with that same interceding heart, reaching out to you. He does not condemn your longing. He marvels at His love for you, a love that led Him to drink the cup of suffering so that you could be called a child of God. You are bound to Him and to all who do His will in bonds of love stronger than natural family.
Let this be a time of God's revelation to your heart of the riches of His love. In His light, you may find a human love that is a reflection of His, a love that is not bought but given. But first, lean into the love that already has you, the love that will never fail.
The Song of Songs speaks of a love that makes the soul sick with longing, yet it is a sickness that leads to life. "I am sick of love," the bride cries, and this is not a malady of despair but of overwhelming desire for the beloved. For us, that Beloved is Jesus Christ. His left hand is under your head, and His right hand embraces you, even now. You cannot buy this love with your goodness or your achievements. Many waters cannot quench it. God's love for you is uncaused by anything in you. You cannot purchase it, and an endeavor to do so only cheapens it. It simply flows forth, and it is yours to receive.
When you feel that no one sees your tears, remember Jesus. He was moved with compassion when He saw the needs of people. He sees everything about you. There is nothing hid from Him. He sees your heart, the motives, the sorrow, the quiet hope. When the enemy whispers that God does not care or that you have failed too many times, do not believe it. He knows your frame. His sympathetic understanding of your weakness is deeper than any human friend could offer.
The great commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. This is not a barrier to other loves; it is the only way to love rightly. When God becomes the center of your existence, you are freed from the tyranny of a self-centered life. You will then have the capacity to love a neighbor, or a future spouse, as you love yourself, not because you are trying to fill a void, but because His love is radiating from your life. The most important thing is not the burnt offering of a desperate plea for a partner, but a heart wholly given to Him.
Do not despise this season of loneliness as a sign of God's absence. Often, in His deep love, He allows desperate situations to force us to Jesus. He may be using this very ache to draw you into a surrender you never knew you needed, a place where you find that He alone is enough. It is sad that we often require drastic means to turn to Him fully, but His aim is not to wound but to save and to satisfy.
Consider Peter. His failure was not a lack of love for Jesus, but the weakness of his flesh and his self-confidence. Jesus knew this and interceded for him, that his faith would not fail. Jesus watches you now with that same interceding heart, reaching out to you. He does not condemn your longing. He marvels at His love for you, a love that led Him to drink the cup of suffering so that you could be called a child of God. You are bound to Him and to all who do His will in bonds of love stronger than natural family.
Let this be a time of God's revelation to your heart of the riches of His love. In His light, you may find a human love that is a reflection of His, a love that is not bought but given. But first, lean into the love that already has you, the love that will never fail.
