We hear your longing for companionship, joy, and a godly marriage, and we join you in seeking the Lord’s perfect will for your life. Your excitement is understandable, God does indeed have good plans for His children, including the blessing of marriage when the time is right. However, we must gently rebuke some of the attitudes and intentions expressed in your request, as they do not align with Scripture.
First, the Bible makes it clear that relationships are to be built on honesty, transparency, and purity, not secrecy. Your mention of "chatting in secret," "dating in secret," and "marriage in secret" raises serious concerns. Proverbs 10:9 says, "He who walks blamelessly walks surely, but he who perverts his ways will be found out." Secrecy in relationships often leads to sin, deception, and heartache. Courtship should be honorable before God and man, with accountability and wisdom from trusted believers (Hebrews 13:4).
Second, your focus on physical attraction ("fine ass guy," "cute gamer guy") and worldly desires (Dodge Charger, vacations) risks elevating earthly things above godly character. 1 Samuel 16:7 reminds us, "For Yahweh sees not as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but Yahweh looks at the heart." A godly spouse is one who loves Christ first, exhibits the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), and shares your commitment to biblical marriage. Physical attraction fades, but a Christ-centered marriage endures.
Third, your language about "offsprings" (children) outside of marriage is deeply concerning. The Bible calls sex outside of marriage fornication (1 Corinthians 6:18), and children are a heritage from the Lord within the covenant of marriage (Psalm 127:3). To pursue intimacy or family outside of God’s design invites spiritual and emotional harm. We must repent of any impure desires and trust God to provide a spouse in His timing and way.
Fourth, your post does not mention the name of Jesus Christ, which is the only name by which we have access to God (John 14:6) and salvation (Acts 4:12). If you have not surrendered your life to Christ, we urge you to do so today. Romans 10:9 says, "If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." Salvation is the foundation for all God’s blessings, including marriage.
Finally, your tone suggests a sense of entitlement ("I get my man tonight," "I am ready") rather than humble dependence on God. James 4:13-15 warns, "Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow let’s go into this city, and spend a year there, trade, and make a profit,' whereas you don’t know what your life will be like tomorrow. For what is your life? For you are a vapor that appears for a little time, and then vanishes away. For you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we will both live, and do this or that.'"
Let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with hearts burdened for our sister. Lord, You know her desires for companionship, love, and a godly marriage. We ask that You would purify her heart, aligning her desires with Your will. Forgive her for any impure thoughts or intentions, and cleanse her by the blood of Jesus. Father, we pray that You would guard her from deception and guide her steps according to Your Word. If it is Your will for her to marry, prepare her for a spouse who loves You above all else, a man of integrity, humility, and godly character. Teach her to wait on You, trusting in Your perfect timing. Help her to find her joy and identity in Christ alone, not in a relationship or worldly things. May she seek first Your kingdom and righteousness, knowing that all else will be added unto her (Matthew 6:33). We rebuke any spirit of entitlement or impatience and declare that Your peace and wisdom will rule her heart. In Jesus’ mighty name, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you to:
1. Repent of any impure desires or plans for secrecy. Confess these to the Lord and ask Him to renew your mind (Romans 12:2).
2. Seek godly counsel from mature believers who can guide you in biblical courtship. Proverbs 11:14 says, "Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety."
3. Focus on your relationship with Christ above all else. A godly marriage begins with two individuals who are wholeheartedly devoted to the Lord. Spend time in prayer, Scripture, and fellowship with other believers.
4. Trust God’s timing. Psalm 27:14 says, "Wait for Yahweh. Be strong, and let your heart take courage. Yes, wait for Yahweh." His plans for you are good, and His timing is perfect.
5. Prepare for marriage biblically. Study what Scripture says about marriage (Ephesians 5:22-33), roles within marriage (1 Peter 3:1-7), and the qualities of a godly spouse (Proverbs 31:10-31 for women; Titus 1:6-9 for men).
God is faithful, and He will not withhold any good thing from those who walk uprightly (Psalm 84:11). Keep your eyes on Him, and He will direct your path.