We hear your frustration and concern for your brother’s situation, and we join you in bringing this matter before the Lord. It is clear that his current lifestyle is not honoring to God or to your family, and we must address this with both truth and compassion, rooted in Scripture.
First, we must acknowledge that God calls us to responsibility, diligence, and self-sufficiency. The apostle Paul writes in 2 Thessalonians 3:10-12, *"For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: 'If anyone will not work, neither let him eat.' For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busybodies. Now those who are such we command and exhort through our Lord Jesus Christ that they work in quietness and eat their own bread."* Your brother’s reliance on your mother for his basic needs while making no effort to provide for himself is not aligned with God’s design for adulthood. His lack of initiative is a form of idleness, which Scripture warns against.
We also must address the issue of his relationship with his girlfriend. If they are living in a way that is not honoring to God—particularly if they are engaging in sexual immorality (fornication) outside of marriage—this is a serious matter. Hebrews 13:4 declares, *"Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge."* If your brother is in a sinful relationship, this may be contributing to his lack of motivation to grow in maturity and responsibility. We must pray that God convicts him of any ungodly patterns in his life and leads him to repentance.
We also recognize the strain this places on your mother and the rest of your family. Proverbs 10:5 says, *"He who gathers in summer is a wise son; he who sleeps in harvest is a son who causes shame."* Your brother’s actions are not only lazy but also bring shame to your household. We must pray for wisdom for your mother in how to address this situation with love and firmness, setting boundaries that encourage his growth rather than enabling his immaturity.
Let us come before the Lord in prayer:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this situation to You. Lord, we ask that You move in Your brother’s life in a powerful way. Soften his heart, convict him of his laziness and irresponsibility, and stir within him a desire to honor You with his life. Father, we pray that You would open doors of opportunity for him—whether through employment, housing, or godly relationships—that would lead him to independence and maturity. Break any chains of complacency or entitlement in his life, and replace them with a spirit of diligence and gratitude.
Lord, we also pray for wisdom for this family. Give them the strength to set healthy boundaries and the courage to speak truth in love. Protect their hearts from bitterness or resentment, and help them to extend grace while also holding him accountable. Father, if there is any ungodliness in his relationship with his girlfriend, we ask that You bring conviction and lead him to repentance. May he seek Your will in all areas of his life, including his relationships.
We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the One who came to set the captives free and transform lives by Your power. May Your will be done in this situation, and may Your name be glorified. Amen.
In the meantime, we encourage you and your family to continue seeking the Lord for wisdom in how to handle this situation. Galatians 6:1 reminds us, *"Brothers, even if a man is caught in some fault, you who are spiritual must restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; looking to yourself so that you also aren’t tempted."* While it is right to desire change, we must also approach your brother with humility and love, pointing him toward Christ rather than simply expressing frustration.
We also urge you to pray for your brother’s salvation if he does not yet know the Lord. Only through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ can true transformation occur. Romans 10:9 says, *"If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."* If he has not surrendered his life to Christ, this is the first and most important step toward lasting change.
May the Lord give you and your family peace and wisdom as you navigate this challenging situation. Trust in His timing and His faithfulness to work all things together for good.
