We understand the deep longing in your heart for companionship, love, and the kind of connection that feels like a soulmate—a bond that reflects the intimacy and devotion God designed for marriage. Your heart’s cry is one we hear often, and we want to speak truth, hope, and biblical wisdom into this season of waiting and longing. First, we must address something critical: there is no true fulfillment, no lasting joy, and no complete happiness outside of a deep, abiding relationship with Jesus Christ. He alone is the One who can satisfy the deepest longings of your soul. The prophet Jeremiah reminds us, *"For my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the spring of living waters, and cut them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water"* (Jeremiah 2:13). Too often, we seek in human relationships what only God can provide—unconditional love, perfect peace, and eternal security. While marriage is a beautiful gift from God, it was never meant to replace Him as the source of our joy or completion.
You mentioned that you have never dated or had a "partner," and we commend you for your purity and the way you have guarded your heart. However, we must also gently correct the language you’ve used. The Bible does not speak of "partners" or "soulmates" in the way the world does. Instead, it speaks of *marriage*—a covenant between one man and one woman, designed by God to reflect Christ’s love for His church (Ephesians 5:22-33). If you are seeking a lifelong companion, you should be seeking a *spouse*, not just a "partner" or romantic companion. Courtship, if pursued, should be intentional, godly, and directed toward marriage, not merely emotional or physical fulfillment. The goal is not just to find someone who makes you happy but to find someone with whom you can serve God faithfully, raise a family if He wills, and glorify Him together.
We also notice that your request does not invoke the name of Jesus Christ, through whom all prayers must be offered to the Father. There is no other name by which we are saved, and there is no other way to approach God except through His Son. *"Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me’* (John 14:6). *"For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus"* (1 Timothy 2:5). If you have not yet surrendered your life to Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, we urge you to do so now. True peace, purpose, and the fulfillment of your deepest longings begin with a relationship with Him. *"If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved"* (Romans 10:9).
You shared that you have poured your heart and soul into friendships that did not reciprocate your love, and this has caused you heartbreak. This is a painful but common experience, and we want to encourage you with the words of Jesus: *"There is no greater love than this: that a man lays down his life for his friends"* (John 15:13). Your capacity to love deeply is a gift from God, but it must be stewarded wisely. Not everyone will value or return the love you offer, and that is okay. Your worth is not determined by how others respond to you but by how God sees you. *"The Lord your God is among you, a mighty one who will save. He will rejoice over you with joy. He will calm you in his love. He will rejoice over you with singing"* (Zephaniah 3:17). Let His love be the foundation of your identity.
As for the word spoken over you—that you would *"live a completely happy life"*—we believe God can and will fulfill His promises to you. However, we must clarify that happiness, as the world defines it, is fleeting and dependent on circumstances. But the *joy of the Lord* is your strength (Nehemiah 8:10), and it is not dependent on your marital status, relationships, or life situations. Jesus said, *"I have told you these things, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full"* (John 15:11). True joy comes from abiding in Him, trusting His timing, and surrendering your desires to His will.
Now, let us address the longing for marriage. It is a godly desire to want a spouse, and the Bible honors that longing. *"He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the Lord"* (Proverbs 18:22). However, we must also remember that singleness is not a curse but a gift—a season where you can devote yourself wholly to the Lord without distraction. The apostle Paul writes, *"I want you to be free from concerns. The unmarried man is concerned for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but the married man is concerned for the things of the world, how he may please his wife"* (1 Corinthians 7:32-33). If you are called to marriage, God will bring it to pass in His perfect timing. But if you are called to singleness, even for a season, embrace it as an opportunity to serve Him fully.
We must also warn you against the danger of idolatry—placing the desire for marriage or a spouse above your devotion to God. *"You shall have no other gods before me"* (Exodus 20:3). If your longing for a spouse has become an obsession or a source of bitterness, it is time to surrender it to the Lord. *"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart"* (Psalm 37:4). This does not mean God will give you everything you *want*, but that as you align your heart with His, He will place within you the desires that *He* wants for you.
Finally, we must address the pain of loneliness. It is real, and it is valid. Even Jesus, in His humanity, understood loneliness. But He also promised, *"I will not leave you orphans. I will come to you"* (John 14:18). In your loneliness, draw near to Him. Spend time in His Word, in prayer, and in fellowship with other believers. *"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls, and doesn’t have another to lift him up"* (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). While you wait for a spouse, cultivate godly friendships within the body of Christ. Serve others, invest in your church, and allow God to use this season to prepare you for what lies ahead.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother to You, knowing that You see his heart and hear his cries. Lord, he longs for love, for companionship, and for the deep connection of marriage. We ask that You would first and foremost satisfy him with Your love—love that is deeper, wider, and more fulfilling than any human relationship could ever be. Remind him that he is *Your* beloved son, fearfully and wonderfully made, and that his worth is found in You alone.
Father, we pray that if it is Your will, You would bring a godly woman into his life—a woman who loves You above all else, who will lead him spiritually, and who will cherish him as Christ loves the church. Prepare them both, Lord, for this sacred covenant. Give him patience as he waits, and guard his heart from bitterness, despair, or the temptation to settle for anything less than Your perfect will. Help him to trust in Your timing, knowing that You are working all things together for his good.
If singleness is Your plan for him, even for a season, grant him contentment and joy in serving You fully. Show him how to steward this time wisely, growing in faith, in love, and in devotion to You. Surround him with godly friendships that encourage him, challenge him, and point him to You.
Lord, heal the wounds from past relationships where his love was not reciprocated. Teach him to love wisely, with boundaries that honor You. Break any stronghold of loneliness or despair, and fill him with Your peace that surpasses all understanding.
We rebuke any spirit of fear, doubt, or impatience that would try to rush him into a relationship outside of Your will. Holy Spirit, be his Comforter, his Guide, and his Strength. Lead him into all truth, and help him to walk in purity, faith, and hope.
Father, we thank You that You are faithful. We thank You that You hear our prayers and that You will answer according to Your perfect will. We ask all of this in the mighty and precious name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
Our brother, we encourage you to keep seeking God first. Spend time in His Word daily, especially in passages that speak of His love for you (such as Psalm 139, Song of Solomon, and Ephesians 3:14-21). Fast and pray, asking God to prepare you and your future spouse for His purposes. Avoid the trap of fantasizing about relationships or entertaining emotional attachments that are not grounded in godly intent. Instead, ask the Lord to shape your heart to be more like His.
Remember the story of Isaac and Rebekah (Genesis 24). Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for Isaac, and the servant prayed specifically for God’s guidance. Rebekah was the answer to that prayer—a woman of faith, kindness, and beauty. God *will* provide in His time. Until then, *"Commit your way to the Lord. Trust also in him, and he will do this: he will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday"* (Psalm 37:5-6).
Stay hopeful, stay faithful, and keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. He is preparing you, even now, for the plans He has for you. *"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,’ says the Lord, ‘thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future"* (Jeremiah 29:11).
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