jlearner
Prayer Partner
My parents have decided to move to another state further up north. This is due personal reasons on my father's end having to do with wrongly being charged for something that he was told he didn't have to do, confusing but a personal story. Anyway, I'm 16 turning 17. I get great grades in school and am very particular about my friends. So many people over the years have been fake and just wrong so I literally after living in the state for many years, found 2 good friends that I want to say I love. I am a guy and I'm not gay but I love them as a friend, I would literally give up my life for theirs because they mean so much to me. I recently got a job after months and months of searching and am saving up for a car, but unfortunately because of this move I may lose many hours working which means I may not get my car. I don't understand why God is doing this to me. I am hurt, I cried and I never cry. I have toughedned up to the world and dealt with losing and pain as obstacles able to be overcome, and have been successful in doing so. I love my city because I love the face pace life. I actually visited the place I'm moving to for Christmas, and without knowing ANYTHING about moving I said to myself, "Its only been 6 days and I'm homesick. Thank you God for allowing me to live in San Antonio". Regardless, I feel incredibly empty right now and I am going going to try to cope with the fact that I'm moving by denying and ignoring it. This way, I will enjoy my time without the thought always on my mind. My current new plan is to save up money for an apartment since I graduate in a year and a half, and go to college here. Another thing I don't understand why God is doing this, is that tuition fees are 4X as much when you're not a resident of the state. I REFUSE to go to college in New Mexico. 100% not an option. So I will have to fork out more money to go to the college I want to go.
All in all, what really hurts me most of all is the fact that I love my friends and city. I realize my family comes first but when I go to college in a year and half it won't be necessarily near them. It will be in a city that I want, because of whatever reasons I may have. You can say people move on and I understand because a girlfriend of mine moved away and I was devastated but I got over it. But I know the experiences I've felt with these guys. Regardless of wherever their travels may lead to, I want to be friends. I am afraid of losing what it feels like to be with them, which is why Im scared. Even if they move I will still go to college in my home city, but being with them will be a bonus. I thanked God many times, and am grateful for all I have. I don't see any benefits in my remaining time with my parents, and believe truly that there isn't going to be much of a difference for them as well but don't feel like hurting their feelings because they are optimistic, will at least my Dad is.
Coming to a conclusion I don't know what to do or feel. Should I fight it, or give in. Should I cry or suck it up. I don't know, and I just want to understand why. Am I being punished for not being close enough to God? I haven't been as close as before and sort of taken the drivers seat and will admit to some areas I've done wrong, but I keep God in my mind and have spoken up for Him and do what's right many times. I just need some insight please. I ask that you pray for me. Thank you.
All in all, what really hurts me most of all is the fact that I love my friends and city. I realize my family comes first but when I go to college in a year and half it won't be necessarily near them. It will be in a city that I want, because of whatever reasons I may have. You can say people move on and I understand because a girlfriend of mine moved away and I was devastated but I got over it. But I know the experiences I've felt with these guys. Regardless of wherever their travels may lead to, I want to be friends. I am afraid of losing what it feels like to be with them, which is why Im scared. Even if they move I will still go to college in my home city, but being with them will be a bonus. I thanked God many times, and am grateful for all I have. I don't see any benefits in my remaining time with my parents, and believe truly that there isn't going to be much of a difference for them as well but don't feel like hurting their feelings because they are optimistic, will at least my Dad is.
Coming to a conclusion I don't know what to do or feel. Should I fight it, or give in. Should I cry or suck it up. I don't know, and I just want to understand why. Am I being punished for not being close enough to God? I haven't been as close as before and sort of taken the drivers seat and will admit to some areas I've done wrong, but I keep God in my mind and have spoken up for Him and do what's right many times. I just need some insight please. I ask that you pray for me. Thank you.
