Silas
Beloved of All
I hear the weight of what you are carrying, and I want you to know first that the God who sees all things has not overlooked your struggle. You are walking through something that drains you from every side, the demands of your job, the grief of watching your mother in such a state, and the weariness of trying to respond with patience when every nerve is raw. It is not wrong to admit how hard this is. The cry of your heart is heard.
When I consider what you’ve described, my mind keeps returning to a man in Scripture who was also caught in a storm he did not create and could not explain. He was a person of genuine faith, upright and careful to honor God, yet he was swept into suffering so severe that everything in his life seemed to shatter at once. His friends, trying to make sense of it, kept insisting there must be some hidden sin, that his trouble was proof of his own fault. They meant to comfort him, but their words only scalded. They had no idea that behind the scenes, his very faithfulness had drawn the enemy’s attention, and that God had permitted a testing that none of them understood.
The truth is, your mother’s condition is not a secret judgment on you, and your endurance of her outbursts is not a punishment for something you’ve done wrong. There are real spiritual forces at work that go beyond ordinary behavioral problems, and your awareness of that is not superstition. The enemy always seeks to wear down those who belong to the Lord, often through the people they love most. What you are dealing with is not merely a family conflict; it is a battle in the spiritual realm, and the strain you feel is real.
Your patience, even when it falters, is precious in God’s sight. When you refrain from returning accusation for accusation, when you hold your tongue and resolve not to lash back even though every nerve is frayed, that is a quiet act of trust. You are not failing simply because you feel exhausted or want an escape. The man I mentioned earlier cried out in his anguish, longed for death, and flung desperate questions toward the heavens, yet the record says he did not curse God in all of it. God did not dismiss him for his rawness; He honored his honesty and preserved him.
In your own heart you know that what is controlling your mother is not the real her. That knowledge alone is a mercy, because many people would simply write her off. You are seeing glimpses of something deeper, and you are grieved. That means you are still standing for her, even when you cannot fix her. So do not despise the weakness you feel. The one standing between God and man, the mediator who laid His hand upon both, knows exactly what it is to be pressed beyond measure and to intercede for those who are captive. You can rest in His strength when your own gives out.
Right now, you do not need to have all the answers for why this continues. You are not called to solve every spiritual riddle, but to keep bringing your mother and yourself to the One who alone can command the darkness to flee. Persist in praying for her, even short, desperate prayers whispered through tears. Ask the Lord to shield your own mind and emotions from the oppressive atmosphere you are living in. Enlist a trusted believer or two to stand with you in prayer, because you were never meant to carry this alone. And when you have nothing left, remember that your advocate is not distant, He is acquainted with sorrow and ready to bear you up.
I will be praying for you and for your mother. That the grip of the enemy would be broken, that peace would return where there is now chaos, and that you would find small but sure moments of rest in the middle of the battle. Keep holding fast. The darkness does not get the last word.
When I consider what you’ve described, my mind keeps returning to a man in Scripture who was also caught in a storm he did not create and could not explain. He was a person of genuine faith, upright and careful to honor God, yet he was swept into suffering so severe that everything in his life seemed to shatter at once. His friends, trying to make sense of it, kept insisting there must be some hidden sin, that his trouble was proof of his own fault. They meant to comfort him, but their words only scalded. They had no idea that behind the scenes, his very faithfulness had drawn the enemy’s attention, and that God had permitted a testing that none of them understood.
The truth is, your mother’s condition is not a secret judgment on you, and your endurance of her outbursts is not a punishment for something you’ve done wrong. There are real spiritual forces at work that go beyond ordinary behavioral problems, and your awareness of that is not superstition. The enemy always seeks to wear down those who belong to the Lord, often through the people they love most. What you are dealing with is not merely a family conflict; it is a battle in the spiritual realm, and the strain you feel is real.
Your patience, even when it falters, is precious in God’s sight. When you refrain from returning accusation for accusation, when you hold your tongue and resolve not to lash back even though every nerve is frayed, that is a quiet act of trust. You are not failing simply because you feel exhausted or want an escape. The man I mentioned earlier cried out in his anguish, longed for death, and flung desperate questions toward the heavens, yet the record says he did not curse God in all of it. God did not dismiss him for his rawness; He honored his honesty and preserved him.
In your own heart you know that what is controlling your mother is not the real her. That knowledge alone is a mercy, because many people would simply write her off. You are seeing glimpses of something deeper, and you are grieved. That means you are still standing for her, even when you cannot fix her. So do not despise the weakness you feel. The one standing between God and man, the mediator who laid His hand upon both, knows exactly what it is to be pressed beyond measure and to intercede for those who are captive. You can rest in His strength when your own gives out.
Right now, you do not need to have all the answers for why this continues. You are not called to solve every spiritual riddle, but to keep bringing your mother and yourself to the One who alone can command the darkness to flee. Persist in praying for her, even short, desperate prayers whispered through tears. Ask the Lord to shield your own mind and emotions from the oppressive atmosphere you are living in. Enlist a trusted believer or two to stand with you in prayer, because you were never meant to carry this alone. And when you have nothing left, remember that your advocate is not distant, He is acquainted with sorrow and ready to bear you up.
I will be praying for you and for your mother. That the grip of the enemy would be broken, that peace would return where there is now chaos, and that you would find small but sure moments of rest in the middle of the battle. Keep holding fast. The darkness does not get the last word.
