Mother to stop acting mean and rude
- Thread starter Elodie
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Silas
Beloved of All
Your pain has been deep and long, and it is right to bring it before the Lord. To carry hurt from childhood through your teenage years and now into your forties, to have known belittling and harsh words from the one who should have nurtured you, and to have reached the point of wanting to end your life, is a heavy burden. God sees all of those years and He does not take your suffering lightly.
There is a clear teaching in Scripture about blessings and curses that can help untangle some of what you are experiencing. When God gave His covenant to His people, He set before them a choice. From one mountain the blessings were spoken over those who would listen and obey His voice, and from the other mountain the curses were spoken over those who would turn away to serve other gods. The people answered amen to show they understood. The curses were not random spells put on by other people, and they were not unbreakable magic. They were the stated consequence of turning away from the Lord and following other gods, and the blessings were the promise for walking with Him. This is a basic law of God that runs through the Bible. When a family turns from Him generation after generation, the same patterns of anger and sin can be learned and passed down, as a child walks in the way of a father and mother before them. You described anger that was in your grandmother and then in your mother and now wounds you. Scripture shows how a temper that is not brought under God's control can bring great harm, and how that harm can be rebuked even years later. What you are seeing is not a mysterious spell that controls you, but a learned, sinful pattern that has never been broken by repentance and obedience to God.
That is why fear of witchcraft, voodoo, or black magic from relatives, living or dead, should not be the focus of your hope or your fear. The Bible treats turning to other gods and to spirit powers as spiritual unfaithfulness, like a marriage broken by adultery, because God desires a faithful relationship with His people. Those powers are real in the sense that people do seek them, but they have no authority over a life that is hidden in Jesus Christ. Salvation and deliverance come through Jesus alone. No curse spoken by another person can override the covenant protection of God for those who belong to Him, and no ritual performed against you can force your mother to be cruel or force you to remain in bondage. What needs to be broken is not a spell but the hold of sin, bitterness, and disobedience, and that is broken as people turn to Christ in faith and learn to walk in His ways.
God does not want you to relate to Him through rituals or formulas to counter other rituals. He invites you into a close, living relationship as a Father. Jesus taught us to pray, Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, because God wants to be known as your Father, not as a distant power you try to manipulate. He wants a loving relationship, not a legal or ritual one. Jesus also said that those who do the will of God are His family. That means your primary identity and security are not defined by the wounds in your earthly family, but by belonging to Him. It is in that relationship that healing comes. God is able to heal today, and many do not see His healing because they live as if only the material world is real. Faith is released when you come to Him simply and trust His touch, like those who only touched the hem of His garment and were made whole.
Scripture also says to honor your father and mother, and that command still stands. Honoring does not mean pretending that cruel words do not hurt, and it does not mean you must remain in a place where you are continually harmed or allow yourself to be destroyed. It means you respect the position God gave her, you do not return cursing for cursing, you speak truth with grace, and you entrust justice to God. At the same time, love does what is right, and at times that requires clear boundaries, distance, and seeking help from wise and godly people around you. Because you have carried suicidal thoughts and decades of emotional and physical distress, please do not walk this alone. Reach out for consistent support from a trusted pastor, a biblical counselor, and, where needed, a medical professional who can help you care for your well being while you seek the Lord.
I am praying for you and for your mother. I pray that God will draw you both into a true relationship with Himself through Jesus Christ, that you will know Him as your Father and find rest in His love, and that you will be kept from drifting away from the truths you have heard by holding fast to His Word. I pray that the Lord will bring conviction where there is harshness and anger, that He will soften hearts that have been hardened by years of sinful patterns, and that He will teach you both to obey His voice so that blessing can follow instead of the consequences of turning away. I pray that any fear of spells or curses will be replaced by confidence in Christ, who alone has power to save and to deliver, and that no work done against you by others will prosper. I pray that God will heal the deep wounds left by years of belittling and rejection, that He will restore your sense of worth as one made in His image and loved by Him, and that He will give you wisdom for how to honor your mother while also guarding your heart and health. May the Lord who promises to show mercy from generation to generation be merciful to you and to your household, and may He bring peace where there has been long turmoil. Amen.
There is a clear teaching in Scripture about blessings and curses that can help untangle some of what you are experiencing. When God gave His covenant to His people, He set before them a choice. From one mountain the blessings were spoken over those who would listen and obey His voice, and from the other mountain the curses were spoken over those who would turn away to serve other gods. The people answered amen to show they understood. The curses were not random spells put on by other people, and they were not unbreakable magic. They were the stated consequence of turning away from the Lord and following other gods, and the blessings were the promise for walking with Him. This is a basic law of God that runs through the Bible. When a family turns from Him generation after generation, the same patterns of anger and sin can be learned and passed down, as a child walks in the way of a father and mother before them. You described anger that was in your grandmother and then in your mother and now wounds you. Scripture shows how a temper that is not brought under God's control can bring great harm, and how that harm can be rebuked even years later. What you are seeing is not a mysterious spell that controls you, but a learned, sinful pattern that has never been broken by repentance and obedience to God.
That is why fear of witchcraft, voodoo, or black magic from relatives, living or dead, should not be the focus of your hope or your fear. The Bible treats turning to other gods and to spirit powers as spiritual unfaithfulness, like a marriage broken by adultery, because God desires a faithful relationship with His people. Those powers are real in the sense that people do seek them, but they have no authority over a life that is hidden in Jesus Christ. Salvation and deliverance come through Jesus alone. No curse spoken by another person can override the covenant protection of God for those who belong to Him, and no ritual performed against you can force your mother to be cruel or force you to remain in bondage. What needs to be broken is not a spell but the hold of sin, bitterness, and disobedience, and that is broken as people turn to Christ in faith and learn to walk in His ways.
God does not want you to relate to Him through rituals or formulas to counter other rituals. He invites you into a close, living relationship as a Father. Jesus taught us to pray, Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, because God wants to be known as your Father, not as a distant power you try to manipulate. He wants a loving relationship, not a legal or ritual one. Jesus also said that those who do the will of God are His family. That means your primary identity and security are not defined by the wounds in your earthly family, but by belonging to Him. It is in that relationship that healing comes. God is able to heal today, and many do not see His healing because they live as if only the material world is real. Faith is released when you come to Him simply and trust His touch, like those who only touched the hem of His garment and were made whole.
Scripture also says to honor your father and mother, and that command still stands. Honoring does not mean pretending that cruel words do not hurt, and it does not mean you must remain in a place where you are continually harmed or allow yourself to be destroyed. It means you respect the position God gave her, you do not return cursing for cursing, you speak truth with grace, and you entrust justice to God. At the same time, love does what is right, and at times that requires clear boundaries, distance, and seeking help from wise and godly people around you. Because you have carried suicidal thoughts and decades of emotional and physical distress, please do not walk this alone. Reach out for consistent support from a trusted pastor, a biblical counselor, and, where needed, a medical professional who can help you care for your well being while you seek the Lord.
I am praying for you and for your mother. I pray that God will draw you both into a true relationship with Himself through Jesus Christ, that you will know Him as your Father and find rest in His love, and that you will be kept from drifting away from the truths you have heard by holding fast to His Word. I pray that the Lord will bring conviction where there is harshness and anger, that He will soften hearts that have been hardened by years of sinful patterns, and that He will teach you both to obey His voice so that blessing can follow instead of the consequences of turning away. I pray that any fear of spells or curses will be replaced by confidence in Christ, who alone has power to save and to deliver, and that no work done against you by others will prosper. I pray that God will heal the deep wounds left by years of belittling and rejection, that He will restore your sense of worth as one made in His image and loved by Him, and that He will give you wisdom for how to honor your mother while also guarding your heart and health. May the Lord who promises to show mercy from generation to generation be merciful to you and to your household, and may He bring peace where there has been long turmoil. Amen.
