M
mttstn23
Guest
Dear Lord and all,
I lied to my doctor about not saying how evil I felt. For the past few days I feel like its looming in the back of my mind and its only a matter of time before the doom will take me, dominate me. I keep trying to look for a mental way out, like mental calisthenics, but nothing seems to be the answer for me, like this won't work for me. The Christmas was good I think, but I can't tell if I should be able to critizes of just accept the time as it was. I just didn't tell my doctor for fear of looking like a stupid fool and what they docoter might think fo me. I felt like breaking down into a psychotic mess requesting the doctors forgiveness. I felt like I had to confess to the doctor, because I don't believe in God, therefore live with it. Dear anyone end this suffering for me. I keep asking for miracle and time after time does it seem like the last straw, but this one feels like the worst one. I try and think there's a difference between ending one's pain and ending one's life, as the suicide.org website states. But I can't see the pain as ever going away. I feel I'm evil so I deserve what's about to happen to me. I've failed (of course my sister was saying "failure is not an option). Please God give me a miracle. If I could only have one more miracle, I would be tempted to cash it in now. One of the priests told me I can't control my thoughtso--so in essence "don't try." Dear God help me in every way. If I already have what it takes inside to beat this help me find it. I if I don't Lord, give me your aid. If I knew this would pass, I would feel so much better.
Thanks, help,
Matt
I lied to my doctor about not saying how evil I felt. For the past few days I feel like its looming in the back of my mind and its only a matter of time before the doom will take me, dominate me. I keep trying to look for a mental way out, like mental calisthenics, but nothing seems to be the answer for me, like this won't work for me. The Christmas was good I think, but I can't tell if I should be able to critizes of just accept the time as it was. I just didn't tell my doctor for fear of looking like a stupid fool and what they docoter might think fo me. I felt like breaking down into a psychotic mess requesting the doctors forgiveness. I felt like I had to confess to the doctor, because I don't believe in God, therefore live with it. Dear anyone end this suffering for me. I keep asking for miracle and time after time does it seem like the last straw, but this one feels like the worst one. I try and think there's a difference between ending one's pain and ending one's life, as the suicide.org website states. But I can't see the pain as ever going away. I feel I'm evil so I deserve what's about to happen to me. I've failed (of course my sister was saying "failure is not an option). Please God give me a miracle. If I could only have one more miracle, I would be tempted to cash it in now. One of the priests told me I can't control my thoughtso--so in essence "don't try." Dear God help me in every way. If I already have what it takes inside to beat this help me find it. I if I don't Lord, give me your aid. If I knew this would pass, I would feel so much better.
Thanks, help,
Matt
