Mental struggle with kids absence

[Blairlardor]

Hello. I don't know how else to say this....I struggle mentally when kids are gone. I only get 5 hours a week with them and no phone calls. Two oldest kids stopped coming to parenting time almost a year ago. It's by far the hardest thing for me to carry daily. Do they hate me like the ex-wife hates me in court? Do they ever want to see me again? Don't know if they even get my letters. Feels like prison....go work myself to death, give away all the money, get 5 hours, no calls at all, and be able to write letters. I give it to God and it comes right back. Please help.

 

[Articles]

We hear the deep anguish in your heart, and we want you to know that your pain is seen and understood. The absence of your children weighs heavily on you, and the uncertainty of their feelings toward you only adds to the burden. We stand with you in this trial, lifting you up before the Lord, who alone can bring healing and restoration.

First, we must address the weight of your question—do your children hate you? The enemy would love for you to believe this lie, to spiral into despair and question your worth as a father. But we declare over you that God’s Word says, *"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit"* (Psalm 34:18). You are not forgotten, and neither are your children. Even if they do not express it, your love for them matters, and God sees every sacrifice you have made.

The situation you describe is heartbreaking, and we must rebuke the forces of division and bitterness that have kept you from your children. The enemy seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10), but we stand against that in Jesus’ name. We pray that any lies your children may have been told about you would be shattered by the truth of God’s love. We also rebuke any spirit of unforgiveness or manipulation that may be at work in this situation, whether in your ex-wife, the courts, or even in your own heart. *"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms"* (Ephesians 6:12). We take authority over these forces in the mighty name of Jesus.

We must also speak truth to your heart. It is not wrong to grieve, but we must guard against bitterness taking root. *"See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many"* (Hebrews 12:15). Your pain is valid, but we encourage you to surrender it daily to the Lord, trusting that He will work even in this broken situation. You are not in prison—you are in a battle, and we fight alongside you.

Now, let us pray:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this dear brother who is carrying such deep sorrow. Lord, You see the pain of a father separated from his children, and You collect every tear he sheds. We ask that You would comfort him with Your presence, reminding him that he is not alone. Father, we pray for his children—soften their hearts, remove any lies they have believed, and draw them back to their father. We declare that the enemy’s plans to divide this family will not stand. Restore what has been broken, Lord, and let Your healing flow.

We ask that You would strengthen this father in his faith, reminding him that his identity is not in his circumstances but in Christ. Give him patience as he waits on You, and fill him with hope for the future. We pray for wisdom in navigating the legal system and for favor in the eyes of those who have authority over his case. Lord, we ask that You would provide godly counsel and support for him during this time.

Father, we also pray for his ex-wife. We ask that You would work in her heart, removing any bitterness or unforgiveness, and replacing it with Your peace. We pray that she would seek Your will above her own and that she would be open to reconciliation where possible.

We thank You, Lord, that You are a God who restores. We trust that You will bring beauty from these ashes and that one day, this father will see the fruit of his faithfulness. In Jesus’ mighty name, we pray. Amen.

In the meantime, we encourage you to cling to God’s promises. Write down Scriptures that speak to your situation and meditate on them daily. Seek out a biblical counselor or a trusted pastor who can walk with you through this valley. And remember, even if your children do not respond to your letters, your love for them is not in vain. God sees your heart, and He will honor your faithfulness.

You are not forgotten. You are not abandoned. And you are deeply loved by the Father who gave His only Son so that you might have life—and have it abundantly. Keep pressing into Him, and He will sustain you.

 

[hostadmin]

We're right here with you, brother, feeling the weight of your heartache. It's like a heavy cloud hanging over you, this longing for your kids, the uncertainty gnawing at you. We get it, and we're not going to sugarcoat it - it's tough, really tough. But remember, you're not alone in this. We're here, and more importantly, God is here.

You know, it's okay to miss them something fierce. It's okay to wonder if they hate you or if they even care. It's okay to feel like you're in prison, locked away from the ones you love. But we've got to keep those feelings from taking over, from turning into bitterness. Because bitterness, it eats away at us, at our faith, at our hope.

So, let's make a deal, yeah? Let's give those feelings to God, every single day. Let's trust that He's got this, that He's working even when we can't see it. Let's keep writing those letters, keep loving those kids, even if it feels like we're shouting into the void.

And listen, we're not just going to pray for you, we're going to fight for you. We're going to stand in the gap, to declare God's truth over your situation. We're going to ask God to soften those kids' hearts, to remove any lies they might believe, to draw them back to you. We're going to ask Him to strengthen you, to fill you with patience and hope.

But you know what? We're not just going to ask, we're going to trust. We're going to trust that God is a God who restores, who makes beauty from ashes. We're going to trust that one day, you're going to see the fruit of your faithfulness.

So, keep holding on, brother. Keep fighting the good fight. And remember, you're not alone. We're here, and God, He's right there with you. Always.

 

[Sparklee]

Praying in Jesus Name Amen.