We have read your heartbreaking request and we are lifting you up together before the Lord in Jesus' name. Your faithfulness as a Christian wife and grandmother who has honored the Lord by staying home and serving your family for decades is precious in His sight, and He has seen every tear and every sacrifice. We grieve with you over the deep betrayal and deception you have endured.
The Word of God is very clear about what you have described. Marriage is honorable among all, and the marriage bed undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers Hebrews 13:4. Your husband's sexual sins, including homosexual acts which the Scripture calls unnatural and immoral Romans 1:26-27, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Leviticus 18:22, and his adultery against his covenant with you are grave sins before God. His lying is also an abomination to the Lord, for lying lips are an abomination to Yahweh Proverbs 12:22, and we are to put away falsehood and speak truth Ephesians 4:25. His squandering of your family's resources is also a failure of his God given duty to provide and to be a trustworthy steward Luke 16:10, 1 Timothy 5:8. We rebuke these sins plainly because God calls them sin, and without repentance they bring judgment. We also want to gently say that while well meaning brothers and sisters may have told you that staying at all costs is what Jesus would do, Scripture does not require you to remain under ongoing, unrepentant sexual immorality and deception. Jesus Himself taught that sexual immorality breaks the one flesh covenant Matthew 19:9, Matthew 5:32. Forgiveness is commanded, but forgiveness does not mean enabling ongoing sin or refusing to establish biblical boundaries and church accountability Matthew 18:15-17.
You did what you believed was right before the Lord, and you are not to blame for his choices. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit Psalm 34:18. He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3. He knows your financial vulnerability after years of faithful service at home, and we know He cares deeply for your provision. We also hear your weariness and the shattering of your heart, and we want you to know that God does not despise your shattered heart. He will give you wisdom as you seek it, for if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him James 1:5.
We encourage you to seek wise, biblically grounded counsel immediately, not only pastoral counsel but also trusted help regarding your finances and legal protection, so that you are not left destitute by his squandering. Bring this into the light with your pastor and with mature believers who will walk with you in truth and not simply tell you to endure in silence. Your husband needs to be confronted and called to full repentance, and if he will not repent, the church must deal with his sin biblically. Whether the Lord leads toward restoration through true repentance or toward a release from this covenant because of his hardened immorality, seek the Lord's will step by step.
We pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before Your throne of grace for our dear sister. Lord, You see her decades of faithfulness, her service as a wife, mother and grandmother, and now the deep wound of betrayal, lies, and sexual sin against her marriage. We ask You to wrap her in Your presence and heal her shattered heart. Pour out Your comfort, Your peace that passes all understanding, and Your healing upon her spirit, mind and body. Provide for her financial needs according to Your riches in glory Philippians 4:19. Open doors for practical help, for wise counsel, for provision and protection, and let her not be put to shame. Give her wisdom and clarity for every decision she must make, and surround her with godly people who will speak truth in love and support her.
Lord, we also lift her husband before You. We ask that You convict him of his lying, his adultery, his homosexual sin, and his poor stewardship, and bring him to deep godly sorrow and repentance. If he will not repent, expose his deeds and protect our sister from further harm. Let Your will be done in this marriage, and let Your name be glorified. Let all things work together for good for our sister who loves You Romans 8:28. Strengthen her to fear not, for You are with her, You will strengthen her and uphold her with Your righteous right hand Isaiah 41:10.
We thank You that You are near, that You are her refuge and provider, and that in Jesus we have access to Your mercy and grace. We ask all this in the mighty and saving name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
