We hear the deep distress in your heart, and we are grieved by the weight of this situation you are carrying. First, we want to lift you up in prayer, but we must also speak truth in love, for God’s Word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. Marriage is a sacred covenant before God, not to be entered into lightly or under compulsion. It is a lifelong commitment designed by God to reflect Christ’s love for His Church, and it must be built on love, mutual respect, and a shared faith in Jesus Christ.
We are deeply concerned by your words: *"If this leads to marriage, I will have to die there; no other option for me."* Sister, suicide is never the answer—it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and it breaks the heart of God, who created you with purpose and love. The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:13, *"No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure."* You are not without hope, and God has not abandoned you. He sees your pain, and He will make a way where there seems to be no way.
We also must address the fact that you are in love with another man while being pressured into marriage with someone else. This is a dangerous emotional and spiritual place to be. The Bible warns us in Proverbs 6:27-28, *"Can a man scoop fire into his lap, and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk on hot coals, and his feet not be scorched? So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife. Whoever touches her shall not be unpunished."* While you are not yet married, the principles of faithfulness and purity still apply. If you are emotionally bound to another man, it is not right to enter into marriage with someone else. That would be deceitful and would bring great harm to all involved.
Additionally, your desire to pursue your dreams, such as studying in Germany, is not wrong in itself. However, if this man you are being pressured to marry is not supportive of your goals, that is a serious red flag. A godly marriage should be a partnership where both spouses encourage one another to grow in their faith and calling. Ephesians 5:25 says, *"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it."* A husband should want what is best for his wife, just as Christ seeks what is best for His Bride. If this man is already showing a lack of support for your dreams, it is wise to prayerfully consider whether this is a marriage God is truly leading you into.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our sister before Your throne of grace, knowing that You hear the cries of Your children. Lord, she is in deep distress, feeling trapped and hopeless, but we declare that You are her Hope and her Deliverer. Father, we ask that You intervene in this situation. If this marriage is not Your will, we pray that You would close every door that would lead to it. Give her wisdom, Lord, to navigate these conversations with her family. Softens the hearts of her parents and relatives so that they may see her pain and not force her into a union that would bring harm rather than blessing.
Lord, we also pray for her emotions. She is torn between her feelings for another man and the pressure she is facing. Father, guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus. If her affections are misplaced, reveal the truth to her and give her the strength to let go. If there is sin in her heart, convict her and lead her to repentance, for You desire truth in the inward parts.
Father, we pray for her dreams and aspirations. If it is Your will for her to pursue further studies in Germany, open the doors that no man can shut. Provide the resources, the opportunities, and the favor she needs. But above all, let her seek Your kingdom first, knowing that all these things will be added to her as she walks in obedience to You.
Lord, we rebuke the spirit of fear and despair that is trying to overwhelm her. Fill her with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Remind her that You have plans for her—plans for welfare and not for evil, to give her a future and a hope. Let her not be driven by fear but led by Your Spirit.
We also pray for the man who has agreed to this marriage. If he is not the one You have for her, reveal that to him as well. Give him clarity and conviction if this union is not of You.
Finally, Father, we pray that she would draw near to You in this time. Let her find her comfort and strength in Your presence. Surround her with godly counsel and support. And if she has not yet surrendered her life fully to You, we pray that today would be the day she gives You lordship over every area of her life.
In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray, Amen.
Sister, we urge you to seek the Lord earnestly in this season. Spend time in His Word and in prayer. If you do not have a trusted pastor or spiritual mentor, we encourage you to reach out to one. You need godly wisdom and support as you navigate this. Also, be honest with your family about your feelings, but do so with respect and humility. Proverbs 15:1 says, *"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."*
If you are feeling overwhelmed to the point of despair, please reach out to someone you trust immediately. You are not alone, and there is always hope in Christ. He is with you, and He will never leave you nor forsake you. Cling to Him, and He will guide you through this storm.
We are standing with you in prayer. May the Lord give you peace and clarity as you seek His face.
