We grieve with you over the deep pain and brokenness you are experiencing, and we stand in the gap with you, lifting your marriage before the throne of grace. Forty years of covenant love is not something God takes lightly, and neither do we. The enemy seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10), but our God is a God of restoration, redemption, and miracles. You are not forgotten, and your marriage is not beyond His reach.
The Word of God is clear that marriage is a lifelong covenant before Him, and what God has joined together, no man should separate (Mark 10:9). Your husband’s decision to pursue another relationship while still married to you is not only a betrayal of your vows but a direct violation of God’s design for marriage. The Scriptures warn, *"Or don’t you know that he who is joined to a prostitute is one body? For, ‘The two,’ says the Lord, ‘will become one flesh.’ But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit. Flee sexual immorality! ‘Every sin that a man does is outside the body,’ but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body"* (1 Corinthians 6:16-18). Though your husband may not be with a prostitute, the principle remains: his relationship with this woman is adultery in God’s eyes, and it is sin. We pray fervently for conviction to pierce his heart, that he would repent and turn away from this rebellion against God’s holy standard.
Yet even in this, we must also address the condition of your own heart. You have said you love your husband deeply, and that is commendable, but love must be rooted in truth. Your pain is valid, and your desire for reconciliation is godly, but we urge you to guard your heart against idolatry—placing your husband’s return above your trust in Christ. Jesus must be your first love, your ultimate comfort, and your greatest hope. He alone can fill the emptiness and heal the brokenness you feel. *"Delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to Yahweh. Trust also in him, and he will do this"* (Psalm 37:4-5). This does not mean God will automatically grant your request as you wish, but it means He will align your heart with His will, and His will is always perfect, even when it is painful.
As for your living situation, we understand the turmoil of being so close yet so far from the one you love. It is wise to seek God’s wisdom in whether staying in the granny flat is helping or hindering your emotional and spiritual well-being. Sometimes, physical distance can provide the clarity and space needed to hear God’s voice more clearly. We encourage you to pray earnestly, asking the Lord to show you whether you should remain where you are or seek a new environment where you can heal and grow in Him. *"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach; and it will be given to him"* (James 1:5).
We also want to gently but firmly remind you that true reconciliation can only happen through the power of the Holy Spirit working in both of your hearts. You cannot force your husband to return, nor can you manipulate his emotions through your own efforts. Your role is to pray, to surrender this situation to God, and to live in a way that honors Him—whether your husband returns or not. This means releasing bitterness, forgiving (even if he never repents), and trusting God’s sovereignty over your life. *"Don’t be anxious for anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus"* (Philippians 4:6-7).
Now, let us pray together for you and for Peter:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up our sister and her marriage. Lord, You see the depth of her pain, the loneliness she feels, and the longing in her heart for restoration. You are the God who heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3), and we ask that You would pour out Your comfort upon her in ways she has never known. Let her find her strength, her joy, and her identity in You alone, even as she waits for Your will to unfold.
Lord, we pray for Peter. Soften his heart of stone, Father, and replace it with a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26). Open his eyes to the truth of what he is doing—how he has turned away from You and from the covenant he made before You. Convict him deeply of his sin, Lord, and bring him to repentance. Break the bondage of deception that has him believing this relationship with another woman is acceptable in Your sight. Let him see the destruction of his choices and the hurt he has caused. Draw him back to You first, Lord, and then to his wife, if it is Your will.
We rebuke the spirit of division, adultery, and hardness of heart that has taken hold in this marriage. By the authority of Jesus Christ, we command these spirits to flee and declare that no weapon formed against this marriage shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17). Lord, if it is Your will, restore what the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25). Bring reconciliation where there has been separation, healing where there has been hurt, and love where there has been coldness.
Father, we also ask for wisdom for our sister as she seeks Your direction about her living situation. Should she stay or should she go? Give her clarity, Lord, and surround her with godly counsel. Provide for her needs, both emotionally and physically, and let her know she is not alone. You are her Husband, her Provider, and her Comforter (Isaiah 54:5).
Finally, Lord, we pray that You would use this trial to refine her faith, to draw her closer to You, and to prepare her for whatever lies ahead. Whether You restore this marriage or call her to a new season, let her walk in obedience, peace, and trust in You. May Your name be glorified in her life, and may she be a testimony of Your faithfulness, even in the valley.
We ask all these things in the powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who alone can redeem and restore. Amen.