We lift you up in this season of waiting and trusting in the Lord, for we know that His ways are higher than ours, and His plans are for our good—even when the path seems uncertain or painful. Your heart for restoration is commendable, and we see how God is refining you through this trial, drawing you closer to Himself and shaping you into the man He created you to be. This is a testament to your faith, and we rejoice in the work the Holy Spirit is doing in your life. As you have shared, your wife’s heart is being drawn back to God, and that is the greatest miracle of all—for when we seek Him first, all other things are added unto us (Matthew 6:33). Yet we must also speak truth in love, for the enemy seeks to distort God’s design for marriage, and we see his hand in the confusion and division that has entered this situation.
The Word of God is clear: marriage is a covenant before the Lord, a lifelong union between one man and one woman that He intends to reflect Christ’s love for His Church (Ephesians 5:22-33). While your wife’s emotions may be tangled in this new relationship, we must remember that feelings are fleeting, but God’s truth endures forever. The fact that she has met someone else and claims to love them is a grave concern, for it is not love if it is built outside of God’s will. If she is still legally bound to you in marriage, then this relationship is adultery in the eyes of the Lord (Matthew 5:32, Mark 10:11-12). We do not say this to condemn, but to call attention to the spiritual battle at hand. The enemy desires to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10), and he will use deception, distraction, and even counterfeit affection to pull her further from God’s perfect plan.
You have spoken of forgiveness and healing, and these are beautiful and necessary steps. But true restoration requires repentance—a turning away from sin and a turning back to God and to the covenant of marriage. Your wife must choose to surrender this new relationship to the Lord, recognizing it as a stumbling block to the reconciliation God desires. Your role in this is to continue walking in holiness, trusting the Lord with the outcome, and standing firm in prayer. You cannot force her heart, but you can intercede for her with the power of the Holy Spirit, asking God to open her eyes to the truth (2 Corinthians 4:4) and to convict her of any sin that separates her from His will.
We also urge you to examine your own heart in this. You have said, *“I know I’m the man she’s supposed to be with and the one who will make her happy.”* While your love for her is evident, we must be careful not to place our hope in our own ability to "make" someone happy or to fulfill them. Only God can truly satisfy the human heart (Psalm 107:9), and our ultimate joy must be found in Him alone. Your confidence should not rest in your own efforts or even in your love for her, but in the Lord’s sovereignty and His power to restore what is broken. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, *“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”* Cling to this promise, for He is faithful.
As for her planned move out of state, this is another tactic of the enemy to create distance—both physically and spiritually. But remember, no plan of man can thwart the purposes of God (Proverbs 19:21). If He has ordained restoration, He will make a way, even if it seems impossible. Your focus must remain on seeking His kingdom first, trusting that He will align her steps with His will if she surrenders to Him.
Now, let us pray together for you, your wife, and the restoration of your marriage:
*Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up our brother who stands in the gap for his marriage. Lord, we thank You for the work You are doing in his life—drawing him closer to You, refining him, and equipping him to be the godly husband You’ve called him to be. We ask that You continue to strengthen him with Your might through Your Spirit in his inner man (Ephesians 3:16), granting him supernatural vision, faith, and perseverance in this season.
Father, we pray for his wife, that You would break every chain of deception and confusion the enemy has placed over her mind. Convict her heart by Your Holy Spirit of any sin that separates her from You and from the covenant of marriage. Lord, expose the emptiness of this new relationship and reveal to her that true love is found only in You and in obedience to Your Word. Soften her heart toward You and toward her husband, and give her the courage to turn away from anything that contradicts Your will.
We rebuked the spirit of division, adultery, and rebellion that seeks to destroy this marriage. No weapon formed against this union shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17), for You, Lord, are the restorer of all things. If it is Your will, bring her back—not just physically, but spiritually and emotionally, with a heart fully surrendered to You and to the restoration of this marriage. Give our brother wisdom to know how to love her as Christ loves the Church, even from a distance, and show him how to be the man You’ve called him to be in every area of his life.
Lord, we ask that You thwart any plans to move that are not aligned with Your will. If she must go, let it be a journey that leads her back to You and back to her husband. Let every step she takes be ordered by You (Psalm 37:23), and let no scheme of the enemy prevail against Your purposes.
Father, we declare Your promises over this marriage: that what You have joined together, no man—or spirit—can separate (Mark 10:9). We ask for a miracle of restoration, for the healing of wounds, and for a reunion built on the firm foundation of Christ. Give our brother peace that surpasses understanding as he waits on You, and let his faith be a testimony of Your faithfulness.
Finally, Lord, we pray that both he and his wife would seek You above all else, finding their identity and joy in You alone. Let this trial draw them closer to You, individually and as a couple, so that if restoration comes, it will be a marriage that glorifies You in every way.
We ask all these things in the powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). Amen.*
Brother, we encourage you to keep standing in faith, but also to surrender the outcome to the Lord. His timing is perfect, and His ways are higher. Continue to pursue holiness, to love your wife as Christ loves the Church (even if that love is demonstrated through prayer and fasting for now), and to trust that God is working all things together for good (Romans 8:28). If there are areas in your own life where you need to grow—whether in patience, humility, or forgiveness—ask the Lord to reveal them to you and to transform you. Sometimes, the Lord uses these seasons not just to restore marriages, but to restore *us* to the image of Christ.
Stay rooted in the Word, surrounded by godly community, and covered in prayer. We are standing with you in this, believing God for a miracle. But even if the miracle looks different than you hope, remember that His grace is sufficient, and His love for you is unwavering. You are His beloved child, and He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6). Keep fighting the good fight of faith, and may the Lord grant you peace as you wait on Him.