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Guest
Guest
I'm having a bad problem with my marriage to my husband. We just had a baby 3 weeks ago.
Well when Chris & I first met he "lied" or should I say "left out telling me" certain things. Like the fact that he had alot of bills($24,000) and he also made it to me that he works alot(didnt mention that his line of work "small engine mechanic" is only a seasonal job- meaning that if grass doesnt grow in the summer and machines don't break down then Chris doesnt have work...same goes for the winter season with snow plows..etc).
My dad helped him get his bills in order once we found all this out but I didnt "find out" all this until we were married.
When I asked Chris "why didnt you ever tell me that your job is seasonal?" His answer to me was "You never asked".
Now with all the baby items & the fact that he couldnt pay his bills for the 2 months he was laid off now the bills are very high.
Ok so that's about the money issue. The problems with the in-laws are that(ok let me first give you the whole background story so you can understand better).
Well Chris's mom & dad never were married. Shortly after Chris was born his mom just left him with his father so she could go with another guy. Chris's dad raised him(he was abusive verbally & physically-hitting over the years).
Chris's mom called Chris's dad several years later and told him that she's in florida and can he wire her some money so she can come "home" to him and that she'll marry him.
He sent the money so she could come back to ny.
She never married him and instead when she came back she married another man. Then when that fell through she moved back in with Chris & his dad. She was verbally & physically abusive to Chris as well.
Just so you know Chris's mom was adopted because she was taken away from her "natural parents" since they were abusive to her. Chris's father came from an abusive home as well. Ok so now you know the whole background.
Ok well Chris's mom has never acted nice to me or my family since Chris & I are together. Chris's dad acts nice but he's still in "love" with Chris's mom so she says "jump" and he basically answers "how high". So Chris's dad always does things for her.
Neither of his parent's care to see her(neither asked to see her). It's been over 3 weeks since Sherry's birth and we have received nothing. Both Chris's parent's are always "out for their own best interests".
Chris is very native and believes anything they say and also he doesnt like "confortations(sp?)". So me & him have small disagreements due to this.
Because his parent's both have done wrong to me & my family..etc and now they are doing wrong to our child and Chris will make the excuses like "that's how they are".
As you can tell this puts quite a strain on the relationship.
Then our most recent problem is I've discussed with Chris since after Sherry's birth that I don't want to have anymore children that it was too painful(I had a very big C-section surgery I had to be cut almost 10 inches since the baby was so big and I wasnt dilating..etc). He agreed and said "Sherry is enough for him to".
So I explained to him if we were to be "intimate" once I'm healed up that he should look into a vesectomy because I don't want to take the chance of getting pregnant again.
He over the next few days was "hemming & hawing" as they say saying he's scared.
Then he mentions in a conversation with me "Well what if things don't work out with us and I meet a younger girl and she wants a baby".
So then when I asked him "why he would say something like us not working out and wanting a baby with someone else".
He blamed it on the fact and he was scared and didnt mean it. So I told him I can understand if you were scared about having it that you'd say " what if I have it and we want kids down the road" but to answer "what if i met someone and they want a baby is just weird".
So see what I'm saying? I'm so confused....
Also another "big" item I "left" out telling you since I was ashamed to share.
Chris isnt a believer. He doesnt follow any religion. When I've asked in the past he said that he believes in God but that was basically it.
I myself believe alot in the Lord and have been praying for guidence...I really am lost and I need help.
Please send many prayers and ask the Lord for me to send me a sign to lead my way thru this dark path.
Well when Chris & I first met he "lied" or should I say "left out telling me" certain things. Like the fact that he had alot of bills($24,000) and he also made it to me that he works alot(didnt mention that his line of work "small engine mechanic" is only a seasonal job- meaning that if grass doesnt grow in the summer and machines don't break down then Chris doesnt have work...same goes for the winter season with snow plows..etc).
My dad helped him get his bills in order once we found all this out but I didnt "find out" all this until we were married.
When I asked Chris "why didnt you ever tell me that your job is seasonal?" His answer to me was "You never asked".
Now with all the baby items & the fact that he couldnt pay his bills for the 2 months he was laid off now the bills are very high.
Ok so that's about the money issue. The problems with the in-laws are that(ok let me first give you the whole background story so you can understand better).
Well Chris's mom & dad never were married. Shortly after Chris was born his mom just left him with his father so she could go with another guy. Chris's dad raised him(he was abusive verbally & physically-hitting over the years).
Chris's mom called Chris's dad several years later and told him that she's in florida and can he wire her some money so she can come "home" to him and that she'll marry him.
He sent the money so she could come back to ny.
She never married him and instead when she came back she married another man. Then when that fell through she moved back in with Chris & his dad. She was verbally & physically abusive to Chris as well.
Just so you know Chris's mom was adopted because she was taken away from her "natural parents" since they were abusive to her. Chris's father came from an abusive home as well. Ok so now you know the whole background.
Ok well Chris's mom has never acted nice to me or my family since Chris & I are together. Chris's dad acts nice but he's still in "love" with Chris's mom so she says "jump" and he basically answers "how high". So Chris's dad always does things for her.
Neither of his parent's care to see her(neither asked to see her). It's been over 3 weeks since Sherry's birth and we have received nothing. Both Chris's parent's are always "out for their own best interests".
Chris is very native and believes anything they say and also he doesnt like "confortations(sp?)". So me & him have small disagreements due to this.
Because his parent's both have done wrong to me & my family..etc and now they are doing wrong to our child and Chris will make the excuses like "that's how they are".
As you can tell this puts quite a strain on the relationship.
Then our most recent problem is I've discussed with Chris since after Sherry's birth that I don't want to have anymore children that it was too painful(I had a very big C-section surgery I had to be cut almost 10 inches since the baby was so big and I wasnt dilating..etc). He agreed and said "Sherry is enough for him to".
So I explained to him if we were to be "intimate" once I'm healed up that he should look into a vesectomy because I don't want to take the chance of getting pregnant again.
He over the next few days was "hemming & hawing" as they say saying he's scared.
Then he mentions in a conversation with me "Well what if things don't work out with us and I meet a younger girl and she wants a baby".
So then when I asked him "why he would say something like us not working out and wanting a baby with someone else".
He blamed it on the fact and he was scared and didnt mean it. So I told him I can understand if you were scared about having it that you'd say " what if I have it and we want kids down the road" but to answer "what if i met someone and they want a baby is just weird".
So see what I'm saying? I'm so confused....
Also another "big" item I "left" out telling you since I was ashamed to share.
Chris isnt a believer. He doesnt follow any religion. When I've asked in the past he said that he believes in God but that was basically it.
I myself believe alot in the Lord and have been praying for guidence...I really am lost and I need help.
Please send many prayers and ask the Lord for me to send me a sign to lead my way thru this dark path.
