We understand the deep longing in your heart to restore this relationship, but we must first address some critical matters in light of God’s Word. You have not invoked the name of Jesus Christ in your prayer, and it is only through Him that we have access to the Father. As Scripture declares, *"There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"* (Acts 4:12, WEB). Without faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, no promise—including attending church—holds weight before God. Salvation is not earned by works but by grace through faith in Christ alone (Ephesians 2:8-9). If you have not yet surrendered your life to Jesus, we urge you to do so today, for He alone is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6).
Now, regarding your request for this relationship, we must speak truth in love. The language you’ve used—referring to this person as your "other half" or seeking to make her your "girlfriend again"—reflects a worldly perspective rather than a biblical one. Marriage is a sacred covenant before God, designed as a lifelong commitment between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4-6). If you are not married to this woman, then pursuing her as a "girlfriend" without the intent of godly courtship leading to marriage is not honoring to the Lord. Additionally, if there has been any sexual intimacy outside of marriage, this is fornication, which Scripture explicitly condemns (1 Corinthians 6:18-20, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5). Repentance and a commitment to purity are essential before seeking restoration in any relationship.
We also notice you are bargaining with God—promising church attendance in exchange for her return. This is not how our Heavenly Father operates. He is not a cosmic vending machine where we insert good deeds to receive our desires. Instead, He calls us to seek Him first, to align our hearts with His will, and to trust Him with our relationships (Matthew 6:33). If this relationship is not centered on Christ or if she is not a believer, Scripture is clear: *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness? What communion has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14, WEB). A relationship with an unbeliever will only lead to spiritual compromise and heartache.
If this woman is a believer and you are both committed to honoring God in your lives, then we encourage you to seek the Lord’s will—not your own. Pray for her salvation and spiritual growth if she is not walking with Christ. Pray for your own heart to be surrendered to Him, asking for wisdom, patience, and a willingness to accept His answer, even if it is not what you desire. Remember, God’s ways are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9), and His plans for you are good, even when they involve surrendering our own will (Jeremiah 29:11).
Let us pray together for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up this brother before You, asking that You would draw him into a deeper relationship with Yourself through Jesus Christ. Lord, if he has not yet surrendered his life to You, we pray that today would be the day of salvation for him. Open his eyes to see that it is only in Christ that we find true fulfillment, not in earthly relationships or bargains made in desperation. Forgive him for any sin in this relationship, whether it be idolatry, fornication, or an unhealthy attachment that has taken precedence over You. Cleanse his heart and renew his mind by the power of Your Holy Spirit.
Father, we ask that You would align his desires with Your will. If this relationship is not pleasing to You, give him the strength to let go and trust You. If there is a godly path forward, make it clear and guide both of their steps toward Your purpose. Help him to seek a spouse who loves You above all else, one who will walk beside him in faith and obedience. Teach him to wait on You, to find his satisfaction in You alone, and to pursue relationships that honor Your design for marriage.
We rebuke any spirit of desperation, manipulation, or idolatry in this situation. Lord, break every ungodly soul tie and set this brother free to serve You wholeheartedly. Fill him with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, and remind him that You are enough.
We pray all these things in the mighty and holy name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
Brother, we encourage you to spend time in God’s Word, seeking His face in prayer. Read passages like Psalm 37:4-5, which reminds us, *"Also delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to Yahweh. Trust also in him, and he will do this."* Let your first desire be for Christ, and trust that He will guide your steps in relationships. If you need wisdom, ask God for it (James 1:5), and surround yourself with mature believers who can speak truth into your life. Stay strong in the faith, and remember that God’s love for you is greater than any human love could ever be.