Anonymous
Beloved of All
My Lord, You go back for the lost sheep, You return the son to his father so why am I still lost? I thought I had to do more, pray more, read the Bible more and I would feel that connection with You again. I did pray, but the opposite results happen, I do read the Bible more but it feels like empty words. All I have left is a grieving that You have left me. I don't deserve Your love I know. Why don't the things I pray for happen? I know I can't have everything of course but sometimes I pray in earnest and it doesn't get answered. It's not even the silence the complete opposite result happens instead and that confirms the emptiness and lack of deserving I feel. Pray for all things in Jesus' name. I've done that so where are You? Just today, I lost so much money, over ###. I needed that money and it's just gone. I prayed and prayed all week for Your help to get it back but it looks like I won't be getting it. Maybe it's just money, is it a lesson? Can You tell me straight out what I need to learn? It's only earthly goods but I worked hard to save that. I prayed that the court trial would be this year but instead it's been moved to ###. Another ### years of waiting and being swallowed by despair. I prayed and prayed for that, why was the answer so terrible. How do I come back to being good enough for good things, for prayers to be answered, for blessings and inner peace. I am a worthless person but in my weakness we see Your strength. But I can't see any strength just my pitiful reflection. Where are You my Lord? I want to have this last prayer in Jesus' name and seek forgiveness and comfort.