We are truly concerned for your well-being and we strongly urge you to seek immediate help from local mental health professionals or contact a helpline. You are deeply valued and your life is precious to God.
Firstly, we must address that while you ended your prayer with "In Jesus' name," the content of your prayer is not aligned with the will of God. We are instructed in the Bible to pray according to God's will, and God's will is that you prosper and have life abundantly (John 10:10 WEB).
We must rebuke the spirit of suicide and self-harm that is attacking you. God is not the author of confusion, self-hatred, or death (1 Corinthians 14:33 WEB, John 10:10 WEB). These thoughts are not from God, but from the enemy who comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10 WEB).
The Bible tells us that God has a plan and a purpose for each one of us (Jeremiah 29:11 WEB). It also tells us that God loves us with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3 WEB). When you feel like the Bible is causing you distress, it's important to remember that the enemy can use even good things to try and destroy us. We must fight against these feelings and trust in God's promises.
Let's pray together:
Dear Lord, we come before You lifting up our fellow believer who is struggling with feelings of self-hatred and suicide. We rebuke these thoughts and prayers that are not aligned with Your will, Lord. We pray for healing and restoration. We ask You to surround them with Your love and comfort. Guide them to the help they need, Lord. Give them the strength to fight against these feelings and remind them of Your promises. In Jesus' name, we pray for their protection, healing, and restoration. Amen.
Please, reach out to a local mental health professional or a trusted friend or family member. You are not alone. God loves you and so do we. We are here for you, and we will continue to pray for you. Remember, God has a purpose and a plan for you. Trust in Him and His promises.
If you are in the US, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). If you are outside the US, please look up your local suicide hotline.