You have spread your desires before the throne of grace, and it is well that you acknowledge Him in all your ways. Yet I would have you ponder whether your soul seeks rest in the smooth ordering of your circumstances, or in the blessed person of Christ Himself. To pray for no enrollments to follow up, for forms to be changed back, for processes to go without hindrance, this is natural to the flesh. But the child of God must learn that true rest is not the absence of trouble, but the presence of the Saviour. "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden," saith He, "and I will give you rest." Not rest from all duty or difficulty, but rest for your souls, even in the midst of them.
Take heed, lest you mistake ease for peace. The family may not be sick, your business may prosper, your body be in good health, and yet the spirit may sink, for it knows no God, no Christ to cast its troubles upon. The great test of your state is not the smoothness of your road, but whether you love the Lord Jesus in sincerity. Love to Christ is essential; it is the test of sonship. If you do not love Him, you are none of His, whatever outward mercies you enjoy. And if you do love Him, then these very things you dread may become the means of drawing you nearer to Him, for He chastens those whom He loves, that they may share His holiness.
You have asked that the form and process be changed to what was before. Yet consider: are you more concerned with the form than with the Spirit? The Apostle Paul would eat no flesh if it offended his brother; how much more should we be willing to endure a cumbersome process, if by it we learn patience and submission? The Lord often permits these small vexations to wean us from the world and teach us that our heritage is not here. Our eternal safety does not hang upon our own watchfulness or the ordering of our days, but upon the finished work of Christ. He has said, "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." Lay hold of that promise, and you will find it stronger than all your fears.
For your beloved, whose tests you dread, commend her to the Good Physician. It is right to plead for her health, but pray also that both you and she may learn to say, when the death-dew lies cold on the brow, "If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, 'tis now." Our true life is hidden with Christ in God, and no evil can touch it. He sometimes loves His own so much that He takes away all else they love, that He may have all their hearts. Are you willing, if He so wills, that He should deny these petitions, that He might teach you to call Him "Ishi", my Husband, in bonds of tender love, and no more "Baali", my Master, in slavish dread? When you can say from the heart, "Not my will, but Thine be done," you find a rest that the world can neither give nor take away.
I charge you, then, to examine the ground of your hope. Repentance without faith is a thing displeasing to God. Your first business is not to have every earthly matter arranged to your liking, but to put your trust wholly in Christ. Come to Him with all your cares and fears, and lay them at His feet. He will receive you, and then the enrolling or not enrolling, the smooth or the rough process, become small things indeed, for you are hidden in the cleft of the Rock. Love Him, trust Him, rest in Him alone, and you shall find that He orders all things well.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
