Your prayer reveals a heart that is anxious about many things. You speak of trusting, yet your words are filled with the very worries you ask to be delivered from. You say you choose to trust, but then you enumerate your fears with great particularity, as though the Lord needed reminding of your needs. This is not trust; it is the rehearsal of unbelief dressed in the garments of petition. If you say, "Lord, I cannot trust You unless I feel this or that," then you, in effect, say, "I can trust my own feelings, but I cannot trust God's appointed Savior." What is this but to make a god out of your feelings and a savior out of your inward griefs? You are not to have this before you trust Him, you are to trust Him for this very thing. When a man with a disease goes to an eminent physician, does he say, "Doctor, I will trust you with my case when I have reached a certain stage"? Before long, if you trust Jesus, you shall know His love. Trust Him as you sink and you shall swim. Trust Him as you feel yourself dying and you shall live.
Consider what occupies your supplications. You ask for money to arrive, for a trip to be prosperous, for a blogging journey to become fruitful, for doors to open so you may settle land matters. Where, in all this, is the cry for your soul? Where is the plea that you might be numbered among God's people? If we look at the original state of God's people, we shall gaze upon a very gloomy picture. Yet this portrait reveals the state in which every unconverted man is tonight. We were not God's people, that is to say, we had not God's approval. Their thoughts were contrary to God's thoughts, their ways were such as God could not endure, their speech grated in His ears, they followed the devices and imaginations of their own hearts! I press this upon you: have you been made a partaker of the miracle of grace? The blood of Jesus Christ, God's dear Son, cleanses us from all sin! Paul challenges the whole universe to lay anything to the charge of God's elect, for God has justified them. Before you plead for earthly provision, be certain that you have laid hold of eternal life. Trust Him with one soul? That is nothing! I could trust Him with a million souls if I had them! I know that He is able to save all who trust Him.
You speak of breakthroughs and miracles, yet you seem to imagine these chiefly in terms of finances and digital influence. The miracle I would have you consider is far greater. The power of Christ to save from sin does not lie in the person saved, it lies wholly in Jesus Himself. Is there anything in this miracle that can comfort you? Have faith in Him who does great marvels and trust Him to work a miracle of mercy even for you! Trust Him to do it and the film shall depart from your eyes as you see that Jesus Christ, your Savior and Redeemer, has undertaken to save all those that put their trust in Him! All the weight of your sins and the evil habits that you have formed and so long practiced shall burn like so much straw in a blazing fire, for God's eternal decree of Mercy must be fulfilled! Nobody can work this mighty miracle of mercy but the Lord Jesus Christ, yet He can do it more swiftly than I can speak of it. If you trust Jesus now, though you have been bent double these many years, if you did but look to Him, come to Him, trust Him, in a moment He would straighten you.
The disciples considered not the miracle of the loaves, and therefore they doubted in the hour of storm. If they had considered, they would have observed that Christ is grand in emergencies. Consider, then, the miracle of the loaves as it has transpired in your own life story and be not afraid, whatever your present trouble may be. None of the multitude refused the Lord's provision. The miracle of the loaves and fishes would have been a poor, lame business if the crowds had not eaten of the food so wondrously supplied. What? Jesus Christ a Savior and no sinner saved? Christ a Physician and no sick healed! You are concerned about money for your journey and success for your endeavors, but the greater question is whether you have fed upon the Bread of Life. A Christian is a miracle. He is a mass of miracles! When he gets to Heaven he will be a miracle of miracles! His story in the telling thereof will fill all Heaven with enthusiasm, so marvelous is the work of God in the heirs of salvation!
It is to be by faith, that is, trust, reliance, belief. It must be in God. Our faith must not be partly in God and partly in something else. It is a child's instinct to trust his father, but it is the rarest Grace in the world to trust our Father who is in Heaven. You have brought a list of temporal cares and ambitions, and you have laid them before the throne as though these were the substance of your hope. But God's love has loved us out of the pit of corruption, it has been the energetic means which has brought the saved ones to be what they are. What a miracle is here! Who can disbelieve in the presence of such love? Savior, we must believe You! It is inevitable that we do so! Your love has loved us into faith and at the foot of the Cross we hope and trust in You. The love of God to you has never changed! He could not love you more. He will not love you less. When God's love is shed abroad in his heart it is easy enough to believe. He asks himself, "How can I distrust? I know what Jesus did for me upon the Cross, how can I doubt?"
Look at Manasseh. Had he known what sort of a son would rise up, he might have been content to die, rather than be the father of such a persecutor. Alas! full often we know not what we pray for. I do not wonder at Manasseh's sin one half so much as I wonder at God's mercy. That bloodhound, is he transformed, by the renewing of his mind, into a lamb of God's flock? Ah! yes. Trust in the infinite mercy of God, through Jesus Christ, his Son. Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts, and let him turn unto the Lord, for he will have mercy upon him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
Cast yourself entirely upon Christ. Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. The heart may be very heavy, it may even be inclined to rebellion and murmuring, but let us make this strong resolution in the power of God's Grace, "I will show forth all Your marvelous works."
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
