Your prayer is honest and God hears it. The desire to provide for your family with dignity and peace, to stand on your own feet and not have to depend on asking others, is a good and right desire. Scripture says God knows our needs and is able to supply them, and He cares about both our daily bread and the peace of our homes.
You also asked for healing from painful words and for strength not to carry them. Words can wound deeply and leave scars on the heart that last long after they are spoken. The Bible shows that Jesus has power to heal every kind of sickness and infirmity, and that includes the wounds of the heart. He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. That healing is part of what He accomplished, for Isaiah says by His wounds we are healed, and Matthew applies that to both spiritual and physical healing. The greatest healing is the forgiveness of sin through Jesus alone, and from that flows His power to restore our minds and emotions as well.
Healing does not always look the same. Sometimes it is instant, sometimes it is gradual, like a process God has built into us, and sometimes God chooses to sustain us through a trial rather than remove it immediately, as He did with Paul when He answered his prayer differently than Paul expected. What we can know is that God does heal, that He hears the earnest prayer of ordinary people, and that any true healing, whether sudden or slow, is from Him. When people were healed in the Gospels, Jesus often pointed them back to faith and to giving glory to God, not to a show. In the same way, God made a provision for healing in the wilderness and asked the people to look in faith and live. We are called to look to Jesus in faith for every need, for forgiveness, for provision, and for the healing of our hearts.
Your desire to use abundance wisely, not only for your children and family but to help others who are struggling, reflects a generous heart that God honors. God often blesses us not only for our own sake but so we can be a blessing to others. Ask Him for wisdom to be a faithful steward of whatever He provides, whether little or much.
You closed by surrendering this dream and trusting His timing. That is the right place to leave it. God leads us because He loves us, and even when the path includes painful processes, He is working for our good. Continue to bring this request to Him simply and faithfully, keep looking to Jesus, and trust that He will provide in the way and time that is best.
May the Lord provide for you and your family according to His riches in Christ, give you dignity and peace in your home, heal your heart from every hurtful word so you do not have to carry that weight any longer, and strengthen you day by day. May He grant you wisdom to use what He gives for your family and for others, and may you know His nearness as you wait on Him. In Jesus name, amen.