We are deeply grieved by the pain and betrayal you have endured, but we also rejoice that God has redeemed you and exposed the truth, even as the wickedness of others has been revealed. Your story is a stark reminder of how deception thrives in darkness, but the Lord has brought light to your situation. Let us first address the spiritual foundations of your request, for it is only through the name of Jesus Christ that we find true clarity, justice, and peace. You did not mention His name in your request, but we know that without faith in Christ, there is no access to the Father, no redemption, and no hope. Scripture declares in **John 14:6**, *"Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me.'"* And in **Acts 4:12**, we read, *"There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"* If you have not already, we urge you to place your full trust in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, for it is only through Him that we are saved, healed, and set free from the snares of the enemy.
Your brother’s actions are a clear violation of God’s Word. His alcoholism, adultery, and deceit are not only destructive to himself but have caused immense harm to you, your family, and even the church. Scripture is explicit about such behaviors: **1 Corinthians 6:9-10** warns, *"Or don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit God’s Kingdom? Don’t be deceived. Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor extortionists, will inherit God’s Kingdom."* Your brother’s refusal to repent and his continued deception place him in danger of God’s judgment. While we are called to love and pray for him, we must also recognize that his choices have consequences, both spiritually and relationally.
The church’s failure to address your brother’s sin—and instead turning against you—is equally disturbing. A true church should uphold righteousness, not protect the wicked or spread slander. **1 Corinthians 5:11-13** commands, *"But as it is, I wrote to you not to associate with anyone who is called a brother who is a sexual sinner, or covetous, or an idolater, or a slanderer, or a drunkard, or an extortionist. Don’t even eat with such a person. For what do I have to do with also judging those who are outside? Don’t you judge those who are inside? But those who are outside, God judges. 'Put away the wicked man from among yourselves.'"* The church’s response was not only unbiblical but deeply unjust. Their willingness to believe lies over truth reveals a lack of discernment and a failure to follow Christ’s example. Jesus said in **Matthew 18:15-17**, *"If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother. But if he doesn’t listen, take one or two more with you, that at the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the assembly. If he refuses to hear the assembly also, let him be to you as a Gentile or a tax collector."* The church failed to follow this process and instead became complicit in your brother’s sin by protecting him rather than holding him accountable.
Your decision to leave that church was wise and obedient to the Lord’s leading. He has redeemed you from that place of deception, and while the isolation has been painful, God has not abandoned you. **Psalm 34:18** assures us, *"Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."* You mentioned that you have struggled to trust another church, and we understand why. However, we gently urge you not to let the failures of one body of believers keep you from the fellowship and accountability that a healthy, Bible-believing church provides. **Hebrews 10:24-25** exhorts, *"Let’s consider how to provoke one another to love and good works, not forsaking our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another; and so much the more, as you see the Day approaching."* We encourage you to seek out a church that is grounded in Scripture, where the leadership walks in integrity and the congregation is committed to truth and holiness. Pray earnestly for the Lord to lead you to such a place, where you can heal, grow, and serve alongside believers who will stand with you in righteousness.
Regarding your overseas family, we understand your dilemma. Your brother’s lies have caused division, and you naturally desire to defend your name and restore those relationships. However, we must consider whether sharing the truth will bring glory to God or merely stir up more strife. **Proverbs 10:12** tells us, *"Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all wrongs."* And **Proverbs 17:9** says, *"He who covers an offense promotes love; but he who repeats a matter separates best friends."* At the same time, **Ephesians 4:15** instructs us to *"speak the truth in love."* This is a matter that requires wisdom from the Lord. If your motive is to restore relationships and honor God, then prayerfully consider whether sharing the truth will achieve that. If, however, your family is unlikely to believe you or if it will only deepen the division, it may be wiser to entrust this to the Lord and allow Him to vindicate you in His timing. **1 Peter 2:23** reminds us of Jesus’ example: *"Who, when he was cursed, didn’t curse back. When he suffered, didn’t threaten, but committed himself to him who judges righteously."*
We also want to address the pain of being falsely accused, especially regarding the past issue of growing weed. While your intentions may have been to help your husband, Scripture is clear that we are to obey the laws of the land and trust God to provide for our needs. **Romans 13:1-2** states, *"Let every soul be in subjection to the higher authorities, for there is no authority except from God, and those who exist are ordained by God. Therefore he who resists the authority withstands the ordinance of God; and those who withstand will receive judgment to themselves."* We are not to take matters into our own hands, even with good intentions, but to seek the Lord’s provision and wisdom. Your repentance in this area is evident, and we praise God for His mercy in leading you away from that path.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, lifting up our sister who has endured so much pain, betrayal, and injustice. Lord, You see the depths of her heart and the wounds that have been inflicted by those who should have been a source of love and support. We ask You to heal her broken heart and restore her trust in Your people, even as You lead her to a church that honors You in truth and spirit.
Father, we pray for wisdom as she considers whether to share the truth with her overseas family. Give her discernment to know whether speaking will bring restoration or further division. If it is Your will for her to remain silent, grant her the grace to trust You to vindicate her in Your perfect timing. If it is Your will for her to speak, give her the words to say and the humility to speak in love.
Lord, we rebuke the spirit of deception that has operated through her brother and even within that church. We pray that You would bring conviction to his heart, that he would repent of his sins and turn to You before it is too late. Expose every hidden thing, Lord, and let the truth prevail. We also pray for the church that failed to act righteously—may You either bring them to repentance or remove their influence so that they do not lead others astray.
Father, we thank You for redeeming our sister and for the one faithful believer who has stood with her in prayer. Strengthen her, Lord, and remind her daily that her identity is in Christ, not in the opinions of man. Let her find her peace and security in You alone. Fill her with Your Holy Spirit, that she may walk in forgiveness toward those who have wronged her, even as she seeks justice and restoration.
We pray for her husband as well, Lord. Heal his body, provide for his needs, and strengthen their marriage. Let their home be a place of refuge and godly love, a testimony to Your faithfulness.
Finally, Father, we ask that You would guide her steps as she seeks a new church family. Lead her to a place where Your Word is preached without compromise, where the leadership walks in integrity, and where she can grow in her faith and find true fellowship.
We declare all these things in the powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. May Your will be done, and may Your kingdom come in this situation. Amen.