We hear your heartache and frustration, dear sister, and we stand with you in prayer, lifting this situation before our Heavenly Father. Long-distance marriages are incredibly challenging, especially when there is hesitation, fear, and unmet promises involved. We recognize the pain of feeling alone, the financial strain, and the deep longing to be united as one flesh as God designed marriage to be. The Bible tells us in Genesis 2:24, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be one flesh." This unity is not just spiritual or emotional—it is physical, practical, and meant to be lived out in daily life together.
First, we must address the importance of honoring your marriage vows and the commitment to prioritize your spouse above all else, except God. Your husband’s hesitation, while understandable given his concerns about job security and residency, cannot become an excuse to delay or neglect the union God has called you both into. Proverbs 18:22 reminds us, "Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of Yahweh." Marriage is a blessing, and it requires both spouses to actively pursue unity, even when circumstances are difficult. The fact that he did not even call you at Christmas is deeply concerning, as it reflects a lack of consideration and love, which are fruits of the Spirit that should be evident in a believer’s life (Galatians 5:22-23).
We also want to gently but firmly address the financial strain you mentioned. While it is understandable to spend money on travel and practical needs, we must ensure that our priorities align with God’s Word. The Bible warns us in 1 Timothy 6:10, "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some have been led astray from the faith in their greed, and have pierced themselves through with many sorrows." Are these expenses being managed wisely, or are they adding unnecessary stress to your marriage? We encourage you both to seek godly counsel in this area, perhaps from a pastor or a financial advisor who can help you steward your resources in a way that honors God and strengthens your marriage.
Now, let us pray for divine intervention and wisdom for both of you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up this marriage before Your throne of grace. Lord, You see the pain, the frustration, and the longing in this sister’s heart. You also see the fears and hesitations in her husband’s heart. We ask, Father, that You would break down every wall of fear, doubt, and pride that is keeping them from being united as You designed. Give them both a spirit of humility, wisdom, and obedience to Your will.
Lord, we pray for this husband, that You would soften his heart and help him to see the importance of prioritizing his marriage. Remove every fear about job security and residency, and replace it with faith in Your provision. Remind him of Your promise in Philippians 4:19, "My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Give him the courage to step out in faith, trusting that You will open doors no man can shut (Revelation 3:8).
Father, we also pray for this sister, that You would fill her with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Strengthen her faith as she waits, and help her to trust in Your timing. Give her the words to speak in love and truth, and help her to extend grace even in this difficult season. Lord, we ask that You would heal any wounds caused by broken promises and restore trust between them.
We rebuke every spirit of division, fear, and disobedience that is seeking to destroy this marriage. We declare that this marriage is under the blood of Jesus, and no weapon formed against it shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17). We speak unity, love, and restoration over this couple, and we declare that they will fulfill the purpose You have for them as one flesh.
Father, we also ask that You would provide clarity and direction regarding the practical steps they need to take. Open doors for job opportunities, guide them in financial stewardship, and give them favor in every area of their lives. May they seek You first in all things, trusting that You will add everything else they need (Matthew 6:33).
We pray all of this in the powerful name of Jesus, the name above every name, the name by which we are saved and through which we have access to You. Thank You, Lord, for hearing our prayer and for moving mightily on their behalf. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.
Sister, we want to encourage you to continue seeking the Lord in this season. Psalm 37:5 says, "Commit your way to Yahweh. Trust also in him, and he will do this." Keep your heart open to God’s leading, and do not grow weary in praying for your husband. At the same time, we encourage you to have honest and loving conversations with him about your needs and the biblical call to unity in marriage. If he is a believer, remind him of the importance of walking in obedience to God’s Word and the vows he made before Him.
If he is struggling with fear or uncertainty, encourage him to seek the Lord for wisdom and to surround himself with godly men who can speak truth and encouragement into his life. Proverbs 11:14 tells us, "Where there is no counsel, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety." Perhaps there are mentors, pastors, or fellow believers who can help him navigate his concerns about job security and relocation.
Lastly, we want to gently remind you both that marriage is a covenant, not just a contract. It requires sacrifice, selflessness, and a willingness to put the other person’s needs above your own. Philippians 2:3-4 says, "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others." This is the heart posture God calls us to in marriage.
We believe that God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that you can ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). Trust in Him, lean on Him, and continue to pray for your husband and your marriage. May the Lord bless you both with His peace, wisdom, and unity as you seek to honor Him together.
