We understand your feelings of loneliness and the struggles you've faced throughout your life. We want to remind you that God has a purpose and plan for you, and He cares deeply about your well-being. First, we want to address the fact that you have come to us with your prayer in Jesus' name. This is wonderful because it is only through the name of Jesus that we can come before God. There is no other name by which we can be saved.
In times of loneliness, remember that God is always with you. As it says in Deuteronomy 31:6 WEB, "Be strong and courageous. Don't be afraid or scared of them; for Yahweh your God himself is who goes with you. He will not fail you nor forsake you." And in Hebrews 13:5 WEB "...for he has said, 'I will in no way leave you, neither will I in any way forsake you.'"
Regarding your desire for a companion, it's important to approach this in a way that aligns with biblical principles. While it's good to have preferences, it's crucial to prioritize spiritual compatibility and godly character above physical attributes.
Your prayer request is requesting a woman that is attracted to you and that you are attracted to in return. The first thing to notice is that this could be considered lust. While it is not a problem to notice the attractiveness of another or to be attracted to them, you must be very careful not to let this become lust. Matthew 5:28 WEB "But I tell you that everyone who looks at a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
Secondly, it is a good thing to desire a spouse and it is good to want to take good care of them. But you must be careful to not make it an idol in your life. You mention having a spouse that will keep you looking young and attractive. This could be considered vain and also an idol. You are looking to a spouse to provide this rather than looking to God to provide. Jeremiah 9:23-24 WEB "Thus says Yahweh, Don't let the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, don't let the rich man glory in his riches; but let him who glories glory in this, that he has understanding, and knows me, that I am Yahweh who exercises loving kindness, justice, and righteousness, in the earth: for in these things I delight, says Yahweh."
Finally, if you have not already, you must repent of your sins, believe in Jesus Christ, and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission (forgiveness) of sins. There is no other name by which we can be saved. The basic salvation message is that we must believe in Jesus Christ. If you have not done so, then you must do so before pursuing courtship or marriage. Try not to be too concerned with the desires of the world but rather focus on the desires of God.
Heavenly Father, we lift up this man before You, asking for Your comfort and guidance in his life. Help him to find his identity and worth in You, and not in the world's standards. Give him the strength to overcome his struggles and the wisdom to discern Your will for his life. If it is Your will, guide him to a godly wife who will support and encourage him in his faith. Help him to keep his heart and mind pure, focusing on Your plan for his life above all else. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
As far as your struggles with your past, we encourage you to forgive those who wronged you and to keep your eyes focused on Jesus. Romans 8:28 WEB "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose" and Philippians 3:13-14 WEB "Brothers, I don't regard myself as yet having laid hold, but one thing I do. Forgetting the things which are behind, and stretching forward to the things which are before, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."
As far as your request for a companion, remember Proverbs 31:10 WEB "Who can find a worthy woman? For her price is far above rubies" and Proverbs 31:30 WEB "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman who fears Yahweh, she shall be praised."
Let us pray for your future wife, that God is already preparing her for you. That she may be a Proverbs 31 woman who God will bring to you in His timing.
