We have heard your heart cry before the Living and True God and we join with you in seeking His mercy, truth and protection in the mighty name of Jesus Christ.
We thank God that you desire to believe and depend only on Him and to surrender fully to His Holy Spirit through faith. That desire itself is from Him and He is faithful to forgive and to cleanse. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness 1 John 1:9. There is great hope in this, for when we turn from idols and from every false lover and false god and turn to the Living God, He receives us. You confessed searching for other lovers, other idols, other beings, walking in bitterness, anger, anguish, desperation and fear, and putting trust in yourselves, in achievements, pride, independence, self wisdom and appearance. We all have done this in some measure, for all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God Romans 3:23, but God in His mercy calls us to repent and to walk in newness of life by His Spirit.
We also want to address with love and truth what you have shared about your relationship with your boyfriend and the fear of violence. We must rebuke clearly the false teaching you have heard from his relatives, that a daughter of God must endure physical aggression and even being murdered in the name of God. That is not the will of the Living and True God. The Scripture says The Lord examines the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and him who loves violence Psalm 11:5. Husbands are commanded to love their wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for it Ephesians 5:25 and Husbands, love your wives, and don’t be bitter against them Colossians 3:19. Love does not harm, control through fear, or strike. God does not call you to remain in a place where your life is threatened to prove your faith. The prudent sees danger and hides, but the simple pass on, and suffer for it Proverbs 22:3. To leave a violent situation to protect your life is not a sin for which you should carry guilt, and we pray you will be freed from that false guilt and from hating yourself. There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus Romans 8:1.
We also must speak gently about the nature of this relationship. You speak of a boyfriend and a special relationship and you mention adulterating. In Scripture, a relationship between a man and a woman outside of marriage that involves sexual intimacy is fornication, and God calls us to flee from it. Flee sexual immorality 1 Corinthians 6:18 and Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers Hebrews 13:4. A boyfriend and girlfriend relationship should be understood as courtship with the goal of marriage to another Christian believer, looking toward a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman as God designed. Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers 2 Corinthians 6:14. If there has been sexual sin, we urge repentance and to seek purity going forward, trusting God to lead you to a godly marriage if it is His will, a marriage that honors Him and where both walk with Christ. Even a psychiatric disability does not excuse violence or remove the need for repentance and change, and it does not obligate you to remain in danger while waiting for change that has not come.
We see also your deep fears and traumas about gender violence, abuses, family, social, cultural, work and economic problems, and the pressure you have felt that you must save others apart from yourself, sacrificing every relationship, playing with hearts and faith, and living under spiritual and emotional confusion. God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control 2 Timothy 1:7 and perfect love casts out fear 1 John 4:18. You are not required to save others by harming yourself. Only Jesus saves. Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6 and There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. It is only through the name of Jesus Christ that we have access to God and forgiveness, and we are grateful you called upon the name of Jesus, the Living God, for it is by believing in Him, in His death and resurrection for our sins, that we are saved and brought near.
We encourage you to walk in practical wisdom and safety. God is your refuge and strength. He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of Yahweh, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust Psalm 91:1-2 and Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit Psalm 34:18. Please do not remain isolated in fear. Seek a safe place and seek help from trusted pastoral counsel, godly mature believers, and where needed from proper authorities who can protect you. Forgiveness from the heart does not require returning to danger or remaining in an unfair situation without true repentance and transformed conduct over time.
We pray together now.
Living and True God, our Father in heaven, we come before You only through the name of Jesus Christ Your Son. We thank You that You are merciful and true, that You hear the cry of the brokenhearted. We ask You to forgive us for every time we have not trusted and depended only on You, for every idolatry, every other lover, every false god, every act of pride, self wisdom and independence, every bitter and angry way, and every sexual sin and impurity. Wash us in the blood of Jesus and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Deliver us from fear, trauma, and the influence of every spiritual attack and oppression that You did not desire for us. Fill us with Your Holy Spirit and teach us to walk in Spirit and in truth.
We lift up our sister to You. Take away the guilt that condemns her for protecting her life and leaving a violent relationship. Let her know she is not responsible for the broken hearts of those who accuse her falsely, and that You do not require her to endure beatings or the threat of murder. Surround her with Your protection, give her wisdom to make safe decisions, and provide godly people, a faithful local church, and wise counselors to walk with her. Heal the wounds of gender violence and abuse, family and social pain, and economic hardship. Renew her mind and emotions, teach her to love herself as You love her and to love others with healthy boundaries. If there has been fornication, grant repentance and a new commitment to purity, and if it is Your will, in time bring a godly Christian husband who will love as Christ loves. For her former boyfriend and his relatives, we pray for conviction, repentance, and true awareness, and for their salvation in Jesus, while we ask that You keep her safe from all harm.
We declare that You are our refuge, our fortress, and our deliverer. Lead her out of confusion and into Your peace, out of fear into power, love and self control, and out of false obligation into the freedom of Your will. We trust that You who began a good work will perfect it.
We ask all this in the almighty name of the Living God, Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
