Thank you for your prayer it is so appreciated, I love this man with all my heart, I was married for 18 years and have been divorced three and have been dating him 2 next week will be 2 years, I love him and I stick by him through it all when we met I KNEW I KNEW God had placed him in my life, I know that God knows my heart. I do not talk with anyone when he and I go through our ups and downs as I know what will be said by friends (you don't deserve that you deserve better) what is better? I know that I have prayed and God has answered with this man it's all I have ever wanted is to love REALLY love and be loved, he is an alcoholic he doesn't think he is but he is they never think they are. We have worked hard and I pray harder. He gets so angry with me when I disagree if he has a drink but I KNOW it's not good for him, he went through a bad divorce that unfortunately alcohol was the route he took he has a family history and unfortunately by turning to that during his divorce he was the addicted, he hasn't drank in months and when he does he doesn't understand why I get so upset, he is a Christian but my prayer is for God to pull him closer and closer every day, and to remove the crutch of alcohol as far as the east is from the west, he always needs a drink when he's had a bad day or something bothers him, he questioned God A LOT I have tried to tell him that God allows us to make the choices even when they are not good for us, he says he prayed without ceasing and saw NOTHING and that God was not there, I have tried to tell him that sometimes it's because it's not the result we want as to why we don't see it. I so want him to get completely back to God and lose all of the ANGER he has in his heart he is doing sooooooo much better, but as I said it is good then right around the corner there will be a setback.... I truly don't know what I am being taught through this I just want us to be happy TOGETHER I have prayed so much that God will PLEASE pull him close and not let him go and to let him grow and grow and grow and for him to reveal to him that it's ok, I want so badly for God to use us for his purpose. I love this man so much and have such a fear of losing him! I lost my best friend at 20 he had leukemia, I lost my marriage, and I lost my brother to prison for ten years. I have lost and lost and lost and I know I can't lose again I CAN'T! God knows this so I don't understand WHY??? Why life can't just get out of the valley just up the hill it doesn't have to be on top of the mountain, I just want this all to be ok and I want PEACE, I want a peaceful heart, I don't want to be a worrier a lot might say you don't have faith if you worry but I can assure you my sweet sweet grandmother was the sweetest good Christian lady I have ever known and she worried too, so I truly don't see it as lack of faith, I am so confused and I need some light at the end of this tunnel!!!!!!!!!!!
